Dave Cornmell
@ourdave.bsky.social
Can’t we all just get along?
No. No, we can’t.
No. No, we can’t.
Sending increasingly harsh and terminal forms of cancer to the bellend who gouged the passenger side of my car while it was parked in the supermarket last night, then drove off without leaving your details. May the shadows on your lung and brain scans grow wider and darker.
December 12, 2025 at 7:26 PM
Sending increasingly harsh and terminal forms of cancer to the bellend who gouged the passenger side of my car while it was parked in the supermarket last night, then drove off without leaving your details. May the shadows on your lung and brain scans grow wider and darker.
First time watching Kill Bill. Jesus it’s slow. And dull. And self indulgent.
December 11, 2025 at 12:37 AM
First time watching Kill Bill. Jesus it’s slow. And dull. And self indulgent.
I think the John Lewis dad has bodies buried under the patio.
November 24, 2025 at 6:48 PM
I think the John Lewis dad has bodies buried under the patio.
Of course, statistically, one of these Northern Lights photos will just be someone’s house on fire.
🔥
🔥
November 12, 2025 at 4:46 PM
Of course, statistically, one of these Northern Lights photos will just be someone’s house on fire.
🔥
🔥
Can’t wait for the day when we don’t have to hear his stupid name, see his saggy face or hear his whining, camp voice every single fucking day.
September 24, 2025 at 6:27 PM
Can’t wait for the day when we don’t have to hear his stupid name, see his saggy face or hear his whining, camp voice every single fucking day.
Are all the flags on lampposts meant to be flying at half mast, or is that as high as the mentally stunted pigmies who put them there can reach?
🏴 🇬🇧
🏴 🇬🇧
September 21, 2025 at 7:21 AM
Are all the flags on lampposts meant to be flying at half mast, or is that as high as the mentally stunted pigmies who put them there can reach?
🏴 🇬🇧
🏴 🇬🇧
The next Terminator movie will be set 10 years in the future and Skynet will be Alexa, or Gemini, or Apple Intelligence or something, and simply tell humans to drink bleach.
#AIwillkillusall
#AIwillkillusall
August 28, 2025 at 6:02 PM
The next Terminator movie will be set 10 years in the future and Skynet will be Alexa, or Gemini, or Apple Intelligence or something, and simply tell humans to drink bleach.
#AIwillkillusall
#AIwillkillusall
That disallowed Palace goal yesterday. They’re just making it up as they go along now aren’t they? VAR and Sky making footy like F1. So dull.
August 18, 2025 at 8:10 AM
That disallowed Palace goal yesterday. They’re just making it up as they go along now aren’t they? VAR and Sky making footy like F1. So dull.
More and more the Saudi league feels like a money laundering scheme for the Sky Six. Some of the prices paid for the shite they no longer want is eye watering.
£46 million for the Uruguayan Beto?
Wow.
£46 million for the Uruguayan Beto?
Wow.
August 7, 2025 at 1:25 PM
More and more the Saudi league feels like a money laundering scheme for the Sky Six. Some of the prices paid for the shite they no longer want is eye watering.
£46 million for the Uruguayan Beto?
Wow.
£46 million for the Uruguayan Beto?
Wow.
Still can’t believe the 5 balls each bowler bowls in #TheHundred isn’t called an “under” (as it’s one ball short than an “over”).
And yes, I have nothing better to do with my time.
And yes, I have nothing better to do with my time.
August 5, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Still can’t believe the 5 balls each bowler bowls in #TheHundred isn’t called an “under” (as it’s one ball short than an “over”).
And yes, I have nothing better to do with my time.
And yes, I have nothing better to do with my time.
One of the saddest things about Chris Sievey’s death is we never got to see Frank Sidebottom on Celebrity SOS: Who Dares Wins.
You know it is.
It really is.
You know it is.
It really is.
July 31, 2025 at 7:00 PM
One of the saddest things about Chris Sievey’s death is we never got to see Frank Sidebottom on Celebrity SOS: Who Dares Wins.
You know it is.
It really is.
You know it is.
It really is.
For a team who allegedly couldn’t afford fruit in the training ground and sacked a load of staff recently, United are splashing the cash a bit this transfer window.
July 18, 2025 at 12:10 PM
For a team who allegedly couldn’t afford fruit in the training ground and sacked a load of staff recently, United are splashing the cash a bit this transfer window.
My only gripe with #squidgames3 was that the guests watching the games weren’t executed for crimes against acting.
June 29, 2025 at 8:55 PM
My only gripe with #squidgames3 was that the guests watching the games weren’t executed for crimes against acting.
Blue shirt, white shorts, WHITE socks.
That’s all I ask from an Everton home kit.
Only an away kit of amber top, blue shorts, amber socks can restore the balance.
And selling Beto.
#efc
That’s all I ask from an Everton home kit.
Only an away kit of amber top, blue shorts, amber socks can restore the balance.
And selling Beto.
#efc
June 26, 2025 at 8:20 AM
Blue shirt, white shorts, WHITE socks.
That’s all I ask from an Everton home kit.
Only an away kit of amber top, blue shorts, amber socks can restore the balance.
And selling Beto.
#efc
That’s all I ask from an Everton home kit.
Only an away kit of amber top, blue shorts, amber socks can restore the balance.
And selling Beto.
#efc
How’s that “lots of goalie’s pushing Pickford” argument looking now you daft German chancer?
#efc #pickford #englandnumber1 #dynamite
#efc #pickford #englandnumber1 #dynamite
June 10, 2025 at 8:49 PM
How’s that “lots of goalie’s pushing Pickford” argument looking now you daft German chancer?
#efc #pickford #englandnumber1 #dynamite
#efc #pickford #englandnumber1 #dynamite
Will miss Goodison Park. Memories of the many highs and lows, family and friends I shared them with, double Chang, Scouse pie & frigging “Operation Goodison Exercise.” But mostly thinking of my Dad who is responsible for my 53 year (and counting affliction). Wouldn’t have had it any other way. UTFT!
May 18, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Will miss Goodison Park. Memories of the many highs and lows, family and friends I shared them with, double Chang, Scouse pie & frigging “Operation Goodison Exercise.” But mostly thinking of my Dad who is responsible for my 53 year (and counting affliction). Wouldn’t have had it any other way. UTFT!
But what if the black smoke means they’re all burning to death in a horrible incense related fire?
May 7, 2025 at 7:50 PM
But what if the black smoke means they’re all burning to death in a horrible incense related fire?
Jamie Redknapp’s obsession with shoes you can put on without using your hands is a clear deflection from the worry in his mind that he’s slowly becoming his dad, and will inevitably and inexorably end up with a face like a docker’s ball bag.
April 22, 2025 at 5:42 PM
Jamie Redknapp’s obsession with shoes you can put on without using your hands is a clear deflection from the worry in his mind that he’s slowly becoming his dad, and will inevitably and inexorably end up with a face like a docker’s ball bag.
I appear to be having myself for breakfast.
March 23, 2025 at 9:07 AM
I appear to be having myself for breakfast.
So the only checks and balances the US currently seem to have are his ever hardening arteries or some hacked-off nutcase with a gun licence?
Nice work fellas.
Nice work fellas.
February 5, 2025 at 11:40 AM
So the only checks and balances the US currently seem to have are his ever hardening arteries or some hacked-off nutcase with a gun licence?
Nice work fellas.
Nice work fellas.
He’s basically Jabba The Hutt isn’t he? A fat, cruel, vindictive mobster, surrounded by shit-scared acolytes happy to look the other way at his mean, small-mindedness if it makes them a quick buck. Still, hopefully he’ll soon be lying slumped with his tongue lolling out of his flabby orange mouth.
January 24, 2025 at 10:52 PM
He’s basically Jabba The Hutt isn’t he? A fat, cruel, vindictive mobster, surrounded by shit-scared acolytes happy to look the other way at his mean, small-mindedness if it makes them a quick buck. Still, hopefully he’ll soon be lying slumped with his tongue lolling out of his flabby orange mouth.
Alien Romulus? Should’ve just called it Alien Cosplay - other than the zero G acid bit it was pretty much a checklist of all the other Alien films. With a bit of that God-awful Prometheus and the black goo nonsense thrown in. Space shots were good though. And Andy the robot.
January 24, 2025 at 8:30 AM
Alien Romulus? Should’ve just called it Alien Cosplay - other than the zero G acid bit it was pretty much a checklist of all the other Alien films. With a bit of that God-awful Prometheus and the black goo nonsense thrown in. Space shots were good though. And Andy the robot.
He craves attention.
Give him none of it.
Ignore him.
Turn over.
Switch him off.
It won’t be long until the dementia fully kicks in or his arteries explode.
Give him none of it.
Ignore him.
Turn over.
Switch him off.
It won’t be long until the dementia fully kicks in or his arteries explode.
January 22, 2025 at 10:51 PM
He craves attention.
Give him none of it.
Ignore him.
Turn over.
Switch him off.
It won’t be long until the dementia fully kicks in or his arteries explode.
Give him none of it.
Ignore him.
Turn over.
Switch him off.
It won’t be long until the dementia fully kicks in or his arteries explode.