Well, it's only one girl...
It feels strange. I understand that she can't text me everyday and don't judge her or blame, but it's just sad. I'll keep waiting, alright? But I fear she'll never text me again. She only answered to my messages...She feels uncomfortable with me, but I can't prove it.

I'll try again tomorrow.

I was a crying mess under her wordless stare. Because I didn't have a disability like CP, I was an ordinary human being, but I couldn't live like any normal, with no will to exist at all. Time passes by, but nothing's new. I still despise crying in front of others. I'm still a mess. And it shows.

She gave an impression that I didn't deserve to take up her time or look depressed (being depressed), because I was never disabled. She talked so much about one girl with CP and how she felt better because of her work (and I didn't), like me being alive wasn't a win at all.

I was furious and at the verge of tears, but I wasn't that tired to let myself cry over this shitty work (but I actually cried later, when my physical condition was ignored, as so as mental, though).
It's such a challenge to keep working alone, but I won't ask for help until I get all fucked-up.✌️

It happened ONCE AGAIN. I'M SICK—

It's literally dangerous to let strangers know your home address. And it's a man. I generally don't trust them, I don't want to know or see them, I don't want anything from them. Only my personal space, for god's sake. It feels so gross, I'm gonna vomit. My wish to die: 📈📈📈📈📈📈

Is it too much for me to ask for an equal amount of passion about the same thing? Or my special interest is way too special to match with others' interest? Why am I trying my best to keep the conversation about smth uninteresting to me, but they don't even try doing the same? Am I being too much..?

I know I'm fucked up. Mental breakdown goes on and on.