Ormand
@ormand.bsky.social
Trombone owner-operator and "Daddy" to 2 lovely cats.
Speak again, Oh toothless one!
November 28, 2025 at 2:33 PM
Speak again, Oh toothless one!
"And all my wealth won't buy me health, so I smoke a pint of tea a day."
-Paul Simon
-Paul Simon
November 28, 2025 at 2:31 PM
"And all my wealth won't buy me health, so I smoke a pint of tea a day."
-Paul Simon
-Paul Simon
Sorry, buddy. The Great Pumpkin just ain't what he used to be.
November 28, 2025 at 2:29 PM
Sorry, buddy. The Great Pumpkin just ain't what he used to be.
I love my Conn trombone. Does that make me a Conn artist?
November 28, 2025 at 2:02 PM
I love my Conn trombone. Does that make me a Conn artist?
Why did the punk rocker cross the road?
He had a chicken stapled to his cheek.
He had a chicken stapled to his cheek.
November 26, 2025 at 4:34 PM
Why did the punk rocker cross the road?
He had a chicken stapled to his cheek.
He had a chicken stapled to his cheek.
New slogan for suntan lotion: "No stern left untoned"
November 24, 2025 at 1:39 PM
New slogan for suntan lotion: "No stern left untoned"
Protect your bagels. Put lox on them.
November 24, 2025 at 1:10 PM
Protect your bagels. Put lox on them.
This is because as we age, our brains migrate downward to our butts. Going back upstairs and sitting down will often jog the memory.
November 21, 2025 at 1:22 PM
This is because as we age, our brains migrate downward to our butts. Going back upstairs and sitting down will often jog the memory.
Did you hear about the homeless snake?
He didn't have a pit to hiss in.
He didn't have a pit to hiss in.
November 21, 2025 at 1:19 PM
Did you hear about the homeless snake?
He didn't have a pit to hiss in.
He didn't have a pit to hiss in.
Point taken, but the only dog that ever actually bit me was a chihuahua!
November 20, 2025 at 11:02 PM
Point taken, but the only dog that ever actually bit me was a chihuahua!
Self-driving cars need an "EGADS" button - Emergency Guidance And Directional System.
November 20, 2025 at 11:01 PM
Self-driving cars need an "EGADS" button - Emergency Guidance And Directional System.
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the light bulb must want to change.
Only one, but the light bulb must want to change.
November 20, 2025 at 10:57 PM
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the light bulb must want to change.
Only one, but the light bulb must want to change.
I have a bi-lingual bathroom basin. Both faucets are marked "C". C for cold and C for chaud.
November 20, 2025 at 10:56 PM
I have a bi-lingual bathroom basin. Both faucets are marked "C". C for cold and C for chaud.
I agree it's one of your best. Toy Collection is right up there in my books, too.
November 20, 2025 at 10:53 PM
I agree it's one of your best. Toy Collection is right up there in my books, too.
Masochist: "Beat me, beat me."
Sadist: "No."
Sadist: "No."
November 20, 2025 at 10:51 PM
Masochist: "Beat me, beat me."
Sadist: "No."
Sadist: "No."
If it actually does help them be better, that's not a bad thing. Unfortunately it more often just helps them think they're better.
November 20, 2025 at 10:48 PM
If it actually does help them be better, that's not a bad thing. Unfortunately it more often just helps them think they're better.
Spanish-speaking widow (kneeling beside her husband's casket): Oh, por que, por que.
Husband (suddenly sitting up in the casket): Butter!
Husband (suddenly sitting up in the casket): Butter!
November 13, 2025 at 2:50 PM
Spanish-speaking widow (kneeling beside her husband's casket): Oh, por que, por que.
Husband (suddenly sitting up in the casket): Butter!
Husband (suddenly sitting up in the casket): Butter!
Wife: Harry, the doorbell.
Husband: Thank-you dear. You're adorable too.
Husband: Thank-you dear. You're adorable too.
November 13, 2025 at 2:48 PM
Wife: Harry, the doorbell.
Husband: Thank-you dear. You're adorable too.
Husband: Thank-you dear. You're adorable too.
It was soo cold that the finance minister was seen with his hand in his own pocket!
November 12, 2025 at 11:46 PM
It was soo cold that the finance minister was seen with his hand in his own pocket!
Then they left, having still not found what they're looking for.
November 11, 2025 at 7:28 PM
Then they left, having still not found what they're looking for.