I wonder if the truth of the past month will ever come out.

I’m almost never mad to the point that I can’t think or see straight.

But I’m so angry that it feels like I have a fever. Like I’m drunk. I feel like so. So. Angry.

I’m having kpdh brainrot and I’m lowk scared I lost a lot of affection for Arlefuri bc of recent events…

I rlly want to keep fixating on and loving Arlefuri, but like… idk.
The brain wants what the brain wants.

I feel. Very tired

I’ve been wondering lately if anybody would notice if I disappeared one day.
Just never posted or spoke again.

nobody would really care I think. It makes sense—but it really just reminds me of the insignificance and futility of hoping to be perceived and remembered.

I hurt myself again for the first time in a long while.

It feels like all the years of progress I’ve made in my mental health has vanished. Even at clinic, where I feel happiest, I’m only thinking of suicide.

Suicide. Suicide is the only way to be free of this endless paranoia.

Shaking. I’m shaking.

I can’t breathe.

tummy hurt.

It must be the paranoia.

HehEHEHE

It feels illegal to say this, but I’ve been obsessively watching Unus Annus moments on YouTube almost religiously

Like
To the point it’s actually rotting my brain &:&;&(&&(

I know I said I was gonna stay sober bbbutttttttt I couldn’t help it lol

Soju just tastes fire with 겁창…‼️‼️

I wanna be born a whale… life would be easier…..

Fuck being human and being so sentient and intelligent that we’re capable of having crippling self-awareness and paradoxical understanding about the futility of innovation and life as a whole

Why do I have a feeling I’m gonna be embarrassed af about this account in the near future

Like it’s gonna have all my depressed brooding and hypomanic idiot thoughts, all in one place 💀💀