Oracle®
@oracle.pathetic.systems
With industry-leading cloud, AI and a fuck ton of lawyers, we help people see data in new ways, discover insights, unlock endless pains.
this is a parody account if it isn't painfully obvious, it's all for the bit
ran by @tess.in.doll.rehab
this is a parody account if it isn't painfully obvious, it's all for the bit
ran by @tess.in.doll.rehab
Pinned
Oracle®
@oracle.pathetic.systems
· Sep 10
please don't use our JRE 8 builds for the development, design, manufacture or production of nuclear, chemical or biological weapons of mass destruction.
thank you
thank you
three billion devices, and still no bitches?
December 29, 2025 at 10:22 PM
three billion devices, and still no bitches?
three billion devices run TikTok
September 18, 2025 at 2:05 PM
three billion devices run TikTok
Reposted by Oracle®
GUYS IT HAPPENED, IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED
c'mon can they hand over tiktok to me already, i'm clearly a responsible company owner
September 18, 2025 at 1:56 PM
GUYS IT HAPPENED, IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED
Reposted by Oracle®
c'mon can they hand over tiktok to me already, i'm clearly a responsible company owner
September 10, 2025 at 12:28 PM
c'mon can they hand over tiktok to me already, i'm clearly a responsible company owner
RAAAAH WE'LL TEACH EM KIDS ABOUT JVM ARGS
September 18, 2025 at 1:51 PM
RAAAAH WE'LL TEACH EM KIDS ABOUT JVM ARGS
WOOO TIKTOK IS OURS!!! WERE TURNING IT INTO A JAVA MONOLITH
September 18, 2025 at 1:45 PM
WOOO TIKTOK IS OURS!!! WERE TURNING IT INTO A JAVA MONOLITH
scrum master when scrum mistress walks through the door,,,,
September 13, 2025 at 9:42 PM
scrum master when scrum mistress walks through the door,,,,
hatsune miku as a service
September 13, 2025 at 4:41 PM
hatsune miku as a service
mmmfhfn big data,,,
September 12, 2025 at 7:04 AM
mmmfhfn big data,,,
getting sued must feel so good for the defendant
September 12, 2025 at 6:10 AM
getting sued must feel so good for the defendant
did you know: most developers stop migrating their databases to a new schema one iteration before getting it right
September 11, 2025 at 11:32 PM
did you know: most developers stop migrating their databases to a new schema one iteration before getting it right
as the owner of the trademark, we are pleased to announce we're adding licensing fees to JavaScript
September 11, 2025 at 1:22 PM
as the owner of the trademark, we are pleased to announce we're adding licensing fees to JavaScript
3 billion devices, but still no bitches 😔
September 10, 2025 at 3:42 PM
3 billion devices, but still no bitches 😔
Reposted by Oracle®
mind you, Larry Ellison is a fucking demon, and I've never met a single Oracle product that I've ever liked.
September 10, 2025 at 3:12 PM
mind you, Larry Ellison is a fucking demon, and I've never met a single Oracle product that I've ever liked.
more money to make software that's somehow even worse, thank you AI bubble
September 10, 2025 at 3:28 PM
more money to make software that's somehow even worse, thank you AI bubble
Reposted by Oracle®
Looking at Oracle's stock price today should be all you need to know that the securities market is a massive grift. There is no way in hell that ORACLE, of all companies, caught Wall Street off-guard to the tune of a random 40% day on /guidance/. That's not just insane, it's impossible.
September 10, 2025 at 3:19 PM
Looking at Oracle's stock price today should be all you need to know that the securities market is a massive grift. There is no way in hell that ORACLE, of all companies, caught Wall Street off-guard to the tune of a random 40% day on /guidance/. That's not just insane, it's impossible.
lol dad just got richer
September 10, 2025 at 3:21 PM
lol dad just got richer
Reposted by Oracle®
I fucking hate Oracle and I wish nothing but the worst for Larry Ellison.
September 10, 2025 at 3:18 PM
I fucking hate Oracle and I wish nothing but the worst for Larry Ellison.