Humphrey Bogart's Hairpiece
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onychomys.bsky.social
Humphrey Bogart's Hairpiece
@onychomys.bsky.social
200 followers 270 following 3K posts
Follow me if you want, just know that I'm boring and dumb. Go Pokes!

📍Rochester, MN

Letterboxd account: https://boxd.it/5vIGD
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onychomys.bsky.social
JFC, Delta, this bullshit is why people hate flying.
Going from Minneapolis to Billings at Christmas, you can get "Main Basic" for $439 or "Main Classic" for SIXTY DOLLARS more. And since only that level allows you to cancel and it's a winter flight, you basically have no choice but to take that.
November 10, 2025 at 8:19 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
Heart mountain in the background, some white flowers in the fore. Heart Mountain is many dozens of miles from the nearest other mountain. Heart Mountain in the winter
November 4, 2025 at 2:46 AM
onychomys.bsky.social
oh hey i wonder what the greatest symbol of our nation might have to say about that
A screenshot of the text of The New Colossus, by Emma Lazarus. Text of the poem is as follows, although you probably already know it: The New Colossus By Emma Lazarus Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame, With conquering limbs astride from land to land; Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame. “Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”
October 30, 2025 at 9:30 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
If you see this, quote with a vampire that isn't Dracula
This is Zoltan, Hound Of Dracula, from the movie of the same name. He's a Doberman mix of some sort. Here he's growling and showing his fangs (which are larger than normal dog canines). His eyes are glowing green from eyeshine. Well, his right one is, the left isn't at the right angle to reflect whatever light he's looking at.
October 29, 2025 at 12:19 AM
onychomys.bsky.social
The comic that ends with the guy pinching the other guy's lips and saying "Shhh.... Let people enjoy things"
October 28, 2025 at 12:51 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
One fun thing about living in a town with a large number of very highly paid physicians is that sometimes somebody drives their Ferrari to the mall.
A very bright red Ferrari in the parking lot of Macy's at the Apache Mall in Rochester, MN.
October 26, 2025 at 6:04 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
It's going to freeze tonight, so I went and picked all the peppers on my back porch that I'd been waiting for ripening. I grew a spiral pepper!
A medium green (unripe) Jimmy Nardello pepper being held in my hand. If it was straight, it'd be maybe the width ofy spread fingers, but it's not straight, it's a full turn plus another quarter turn or so! Probably like 410 degrees total!
October 23, 2025 at 11:16 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
I've summit'd Iowa. 1670ft above sea level, I can barely breathe up here.
The monument at the highest point in Iowa. It's a tile mosaic of the state, basically.
October 17, 2025 at 7:09 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
Looking around at software to download videos from youtube, one of them promises it's not a virus. Seems trustworthy to me. They can't lie on the internet!
A screenshot of part of a webpage with a header of "Download the latest versions" and then under that, the text "Here you can download the latest versions of 4K Download software for your operating system. All applications are verified and do not contain viruses or malicious software."
October 13, 2025 at 10:12 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
Somebody left a kids book in our Little Free Library with an author I can only describe as "unexpected".
A section of the cover of a book called "Attack of the Snow Monster" by goddamn General Michael Flynn. Like, what?!?
October 6, 2025 at 1:56 AM
onychomys.bsky.social
I'm a life-long Rockies fan and barely care about the teams in the other league, but since I'm a patriotic American, man, it's so fun to watch the Yankees get crushed.
Scoreboard from ESPN showing the Yankees at Jays game. It's the top of the 6th with two outs and a guy on first. The Blue Jays are up 12-2.
October 5, 2025 at 10:00 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
My 6th grader has joined her middle school's DARE club. How did I raise such a square?!?
Three circular stickers. One has a smiling frog and the text "Stay Blunt - Say No Dank". One has a sunset over a lake with some pine trees and the text "Don't chase highs, chase horizons". Last one has some clouds and the text "High on life, not on weed".
October 2, 2025 at 2:40 AM
onychomys.bsky.social
Look at how big this goddamn antibiotic I have to take is. I might end up cutting them in half, it's bonkers.
A capsule of amoxicillin next to the end of a pencil. It's longer than the entire eraser +metal part that holds the eraser on! And it's thick, too!
October 2, 2025 at 1:27 AM
onychomys.bsky.social
I've found the single greatest movie poster of all time.
A movie poster for an Italian horror film called "Il Prato Macchiato Di Rosso", which had the English title "The Bloodstained Lawn". The poster features a blond woman's head and upper chest, and then her boobs are replaced by the glowing yellow eyes of what I think might be a giant version of one of those weird undersea fish that kind of look like monsters. The animal (maybe it's a snake with way too many teeth?) has its mouth open and there are a very large number of teeth, all of various sizes. It's amazing.
September 30, 2025 at 1:14 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
My wife, who is very good at her hobbies, grew this amazingly colored popcorn.
A very small ear of corn, it's maybe two inches long. But it's bright red! A wonderful, wonderful color red. I've never seen anything quite like it.
September 27, 2025 at 7:14 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
I have failed as a parent, what the heck is my 12yo even doing here
My phone identifying the song my daughter is playing as "Ice Ice Baby (as heard in the movie Step Brothers) (Re-recorded) by Vanilla Ice"
September 22, 2025 at 11:54 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
Apache Mall in Rochester, MN, has a new douchebag store.
A fucking Cybertruck in the middle of the mall. There are some Tesla salesmen around, trying desperately to convince the public that the vehicle isn't just driven by assholes.
September 14, 2025 at 7:17 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
This is Ed White on the Gemini 4 mission in 1965. I had no idea he was such a space hunk!
A photo of the side profile of an astronaut inside his capsule. He's looking to the left. He's wearing a space suit (without the helmet) and the 1960s version of the NASA logo is visible on a patch on the suit. He's next to the wall of the capsule and you can see a little bit of the window he's looking out of. Above his head is a rolled up paper that's a star chart of some sort.
September 14, 2025 at 1:14 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
oh hey, i wonder what jesus might have said about all of this
Some of Matthew 26, text reads as follows (it has footnotes and verse numbers, I'll remove them here): And while he yet spake, lo, Judas, one of the twelve, came, and with him a great multitude with swords and staves, from the chief priests and elders of the people. Now he that betrayed him gave them a sign, saying, Whomsoever I shall kiss, that same is he: hold him fast. And forthwith he came to Jesus, and said, Hail, master; and kissed him. And Jesus said unto him, Friend, wherefore art thou come? Then came they, and laid hands on Jesus, and took him. And, behold, one of them which were with Jesus stretched out his hand, and drew his sword, and struck a servant of the high priest's, and smote off his ear. Then said Jesus unto him, Put up again thy sword into his place: for all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword.
September 10, 2025 at 8:49 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
Found something fun to put in a bowl of instant ramen at lunch. It's from Costco!
A bag of 54 quail eggs (individually wrapped, cooked and peeled). Half are stewed, half are salt baked. The stewed ones are a dark brown color, I assume they've been boiled in soy sauce or similar. The salt ones are yellow on the packaging but kind of an unattractive brownish color in person. Those taste very strongly of ocean, maybe they were baked in seaweed and salt or something. They're both not bad!
September 8, 2025 at 5:46 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
Morton pitches tomorrow, here's hoping!
A Facebook post from Baseball Reference. Text reads: ----------- Charlie Morton is one pitch away from joining a very exclusive club. 👀 On Monday, Morton plunked his 199th career batter—only 4 players in our database have hit 200+ batters, and none of them played after 1927: https://stathead.com/tiny/MobYg ------------ And then there's a photo of Morton on the mound. Stats are next to him, showing the leaders in career HBP. The guy ahead of him, with 205, is Walter goddamn Johnson!
September 7, 2025 at 1:37 AM
onychomys.bsky.social
Clint Eastwood, best known for his role as the fighter pilot at the end of Tarantula (1955)
Clint Eastwood in a fighter pilot's helmet and oxygen mask. Only his eyes are visible. He's sitting in what's supposed to be the cockpit of a F-104, I think (I'm not great with early jet fighter models), with clouds being rear-projected behind him. It's basically impossible to tell who it is from the photo because the oxygen mask covers so much of his face. He does have one line in the film, and you can kind of recognize his voice from that, but it's still not super clear. Great, great film, though.
September 2, 2025 at 1:52 AM
onychomys.bsky.social
The spike in beef prices has affected all the parts of a cow! If this makes my local pho place go out of business I'm going to be very peeved.
A package of beef tripe (from a company called Rumba Meats). 2.38lbs is $15.37!
August 25, 2025 at 12:24 AM
onychomys.bsky.social
This is from this week's issue of @thecontinent.org . Our cruel asshole government is killing children.
Reported cases of diphtheria in Somalia have nearly doubled this year to 1,600 from 838 last year, Hussein Abukar Muhidin, director of the National Institute of Health, told Reuters. Deaths have reportedly risen to 87 from 56. The country is suffering a shortage of vaccines after the United States cut its health-sector aid. The bacterial disease, which is preventable with a vaccine, mostly affects children. It causes swollen glands, fever, and breathing problems
August 22, 2025 at 11:29 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
My peppers from Ghana are starting to ripen!

www.rareseeds.com/hot-pepper-s...
A lightly orange hot pepper on the plant. It's clearly a habanero relative.
August 22, 2025 at 10:41 PM