Stephen
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omgitsstephenlol.bsky.social
Stephen
@omgitsstephenlol.bsky.social
I don’t fucking know anymore.
If you’re having the sex and you take the time to flex your arm in the mirror or for the camera, I’m assuming the sex is not that good.
December 29, 2023 at 6:06 PM
For some reason, I cannot think while I’m walking. Tbh sometimes I can’t even think when I’m standing. Which is why it’s so obnoxious when I’m walking the dog and trying to post on social media and he keeps yanking me down the sidewalk.
November 29, 2023 at 10:28 PM
Sometimes when I’m feeling stuck, I rearrange my furniture. Looking at my physical space from a different perspective tends to position me to look for new perspectives elsewhere…
November 17, 2023 at 12:53 AM
I think it’s really sad that many of us don’t realize the value of connections to the past to inform us (and learn from) until later in life… because, by that time, so much of the past is already lost.
October 26, 2023 at 10:56 PM
My life is just being perpetually surprised by how frequently I need to trim my fingernails.
October 24, 2023 at 1:38 AM
One of my least favorite things about technology is that I have all these apps that are really helpful and entertaining (to my face) but I KNOW they’re ALL talking about me behind my back…
October 13, 2023 at 12:55 AM
I am instantly wary of any stranger who is whistling. Doubly after dark.
October 11, 2023 at 10:33 PM
I’m all “can someone just teach me how to fish please?” and they’re all “here’s a fish, man!” 🤬
October 3, 2023 at 1:29 AM
Hey wanna hear something weird? Being queer doesn’t automatically make you a feminist.
October 1, 2023 at 7:59 PM
Reposted by Stephen
Woman: What are you gonna call it?

Man: The sperm whale.

Woman: Uh huh and this one?

Man: The titmouse.

Woman: Oh boy. What about that one?

Man: This little fella here? That’s the blue-footed booby.

Woman: Okayyyy… maybe just let us gals name the rest of them.
October 1, 2023 at 12:37 PM
You ever go outside to enjoy nature and hear one animal (usually a bird or squirrel) who just won’t shut the fuck up? I’m like your friends must hate you…
October 1, 2023 at 6:13 PM
I don’t know who needs to hear this but… maybe ask people before you tell them you want to worship parts of their body that they may or may not want you even touching?
September 30, 2023 at 2:38 PM
Might be into something here… even people with a lot of needs still have a desire to meet the needs of others. Autistic folks maybe gravitate toward animals because their needs are easier to figure out, easier to meet, and often come with instant feedback that’s easy to interpret.
September 28, 2023 at 3:54 PM
You’re not a feminist if they say “Name every woman” and you don’t say Chaka Khan.
September 28, 2023 at 3:42 AM
Help! My adhd meds wore off and it’s two and a half hours later than I thought it was!
September 28, 2023 at 2:44 AM
I oscillate rapidly and uncomfortably between “(please don’t perceive me)” and “WHY IS NO ONE PAYING ATTENTION TO ME”
September 27, 2023 at 1:03 AM
V stoned and SASHAYING toward the train, living my best life listening to some angry ass music and I suddenly remember drunk-jogging down a bike path in my 20s and my then boyfriend telling me “you look CRAZY” B-R-I-N-G-I-T-O-N Bring it on bitch!
September 26, 2023 at 10:33 PM
Ugh the skin on my hands is cracking and peeling. What, am I supposed to use lotion, like, every single day? For how long???
September 26, 2023 at 12:06 PM
How many of our horror movies are just about men being men and taking what they think their entitled to in the form of other people?
September 25, 2023 at 3:46 AM
Really excited Doja Cat released this new album… mostly because all her album covers in Spotify aren’t red anymore.
September 24, 2023 at 10:30 PM
I think if men were taught more emotional intelligence and emotion regulation, we wouldn’t have to listen to them screaming as much about football games.
September 24, 2023 at 7:40 PM
Profanity is so bizarre. Asked Alexa to play Bitch by Meredith Brooks and she bleeped it out. Like… there are words programmers had to spend time coding in for it to do that. So people’s feelings wouldn’t get hurt?
September 24, 2023 at 12:04 PM