I had to let girlfriend know - she cracked up 😆😆.

*I checked; she does have a dog, this is all gonna turn out swimmingly

Huh. Turns out that slide is only funny to me when it's a cop eating shit! A good thing, because it's not even 7a and I didn't need to throw my back out laughing first damned thing 😆😆

Fruit cups, sugar packets, and a container(toilet, I've heard)for fermentation

With a pop and sputter like a damned crank car, too. Woulda been more realistic to have an accident because a bug hit her fool ass eyeball at 35mph - driving with the windshield down is wild

A Volkswagen Thing?!? Worth like 10 Saturns! I was just talmbout this the other day 😆😄

I mean, technically nothing was retweeted because this ain't Twitter.

I don't feel like so huge a jerk because, when I'm startled, I holler out exactly what's happening 😅 So I'm finna have some real dumb last words, I'm sure

I was JUST typing that this is exactly the kinda synopsis I'm here for and I'm grateful for the service 😂😂

😆😂 it is a goofy ass headline, though? Why would they put that in there?! Tf else was he gon shout - "Remember the Alamo"??

🥹🥹 every time I hear The Cranberries. Rest, finally In Peace, Dolores O'Riordan. My Cranberries song is "When You're Gone"😩😩