Everyone in my “AT&T Customers Who Support the Bundy Family” Facebook group loves Luke Wilson. We mostly chat about how 2005’s The Wendell Baker Story is actually not derivative or overly cutesy. We all think Seymour Cassel is extremely underrated.

My unnecessarily large truck is outfitted with an array of hunting rifles. My 25-year-old Carhartt jacket tells a beautiful story of life on the range, a place where reliable cell network coverage is my top priority. I cry every time I see the “Needle in the Hay” scene in The Royal Tenenbaums.

Friendship ended with Mark Kelly. Trans people are my new best friend.

:(

“Rocket” Sanders, because technically, sure, a 230 lb. broken rocket could probably crumble a brick wall.

The only fair way forward re: meting out punishment for this stuff is requiring offenders to spin a big, loud, colorful Wheel of Judgement w/ outcomes ranging from like eternal banishment to six months of legal, unmonitored steroid use.

More Pynchon! Go, go, go!