Holistic medicine update: I’m better but I can’t tell if it’s the “medicine” or I got better.
November 16, 2025 at 10:19 PM
Holistic medicine update: I’m better but I can’t tell if it’s the “medicine” or I got better.
I have a sore throat and bought holistic remedies from a health food store. If anybody has a spare rope I’d be happy to piss up it as well.
November 15, 2025 at 3:35 PM
I have a sore throat and bought holistic remedies from a health food store. If anybody has a spare rope I’d be happy to piss up it as well.
I bought a Tottenham Hotspur fitted hat. It wasn’t cheap. If I found out that the Tottenham football club did some really terrible things that hurt innocent people-I’d toss the hat out and eat the $32. You don’t have to defend repugnant stuff just because you bought their merch.
November 14, 2025 at 4:35 AM
I bought a Tottenham Hotspur fitted hat. It wasn’t cheap. If I found out that the Tottenham football club did some really terrible things that hurt innocent people-I’d toss the hat out and eat the $32. You don’t have to defend repugnant stuff just because you bought their merch.
Promise me you’ll write my obituary in the dingbat font. Promise me.
October 3, 2025 at 8:40 PM
Promise me you’ll write my obituary in the dingbat font. Promise me.
I’ve been in a constant state of self-explanation since 2004. And no I won’t elaborate on this.
October 3, 2025 at 1:07 PM
I’ve been in a constant state of self-explanation since 2004. And no I won’t elaborate on this.
The guy my college girlfriend left me for just got name-checked in the Easter bunny episode of Rick and Morty. We live in a simulation.
September 27, 2025 at 4:03 PM
The guy my college girlfriend left me for just got name-checked in the Easter bunny episode of Rick and Morty. We live in a simulation.
You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve been in the locker room with the fellas and overheard someone say “I think she’d be way hotter if her eyelashes looked more like actual fucking spiders- that’s what makes a person attractive”
September 19, 2025 at 8:52 PM
You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve been in the locker room with the fellas and overheard someone say “I think she’d be way hotter if her eyelashes looked more like actual fucking spiders- that’s what makes a person attractive”
I finally got around to watching Downton Abbey. Is it just me or is Edith the obvious smash?
September 12, 2025 at 2:15 PM
I finally got around to watching Downton Abbey. Is it just me or is Edith the obvious smash?
Baseballs thrown by players into the stands belong exclusively to children. Batted balls? That’s grown man stuff. You’re not catching a souvenir you’re protecting the village. Then you give it to a kid. You also have to make the catch to get the ball. Drop it- it’s a live ball.
September 7, 2025 at 1:03 AM
Baseballs thrown by players into the stands belong exclusively to children. Batted balls? That’s grown man stuff. You’re not catching a souvenir you’re protecting the village. Then you give it to a kid. You also have to make the catch to get the ball. Drop it- it’s a live ball.
Is there a “remedial dungeons and dragons”?
September 4, 2025 at 2:13 PM
Is there a “remedial dungeons and dragons”?
I applied to Sea-Org but they said I didn’t have the prerequisites or the gpa.
August 29, 2025 at 9:53 PM
I applied to Sea-Org but they said I didn’t have the prerequisites or the gpa.
The movie “Euro Trip” does not hold up. Also, I never got my Biscoffs.
August 20, 2025 at 12:07 AM
The movie “Euro Trip” does not hold up. Also, I never got my Biscoffs.
I like a solid pair of titties in their early 40’s #ThisIsTheOnlySocialMediaPlatformMyMomDoesntFollowMeOn
July 29, 2025 at 11:27 PM
I like a solid pair of titties in their early 40’s #ThisIsTheOnlySocialMediaPlatformMyMomDoesntFollowMeOn
My town just opened its first Long John Silvers. There is a line of cars around the block. I say fuck that shit -Captain D’s for life you fair weather sons of bitches. Hush puppies is hush puppies.
July 29, 2025 at 6:27 PM
My town just opened its first Long John Silvers. There is a line of cars around the block. I say fuck that shit -Captain D’s for life you fair weather sons of bitches. Hush puppies is hush puppies.
Just so I got it. Copperfield was on a “list” then that “list” just disappeared.
July 10, 2025 at 9:35 PM
Just so I got it. Copperfield was on a “list” then that “list” just disappeared.
I need to use this platform more.
July 5, 2025 at 2:52 AM
I need to use this platform more.
Has anybody else spent the day gently stretching their Achilles tendon?
June 23, 2025 at 9:38 PM
Has anybody else spent the day gently stretching their Achilles tendon?
My balls are a UNESCO world heritage site.
June 16, 2025 at 8:32 PM
My balls are a UNESCO world heritage site.
All these things you’re saying didn’t stop you in November from hooping around giddy like an idiot when you thought you were getting tax breaks and perks. They weren’t deal breakers for you. So don’t act like they matter now that you’re on the outs.
a man in a suit and tie is dancing in front of a flag with stars on it
ALT: a man in a suit and tie is dancing in front of a flag with stars on it
media.tenor.com
June 6, 2025 at 1:05 AM
All these things you’re saying didn’t stop you in November from hooping around giddy like an idiot when you thought you were getting tax breaks and perks. They weren’t deal breakers for you. So don’t act like they matter now that you’re on the outs.
This is the first pope in history to have a strong opinion one way or the other about Robin Ventura.
May 9, 2025 at 9:07 PM
This is the first pope in history to have a strong opinion one way or the other about Robin Ventura.
Reposted by Newman
A quick Google search confirmed Boy II Men wearing the exclusive Newman Brat line. #NotFurling @ntnewman.bsky.social
May 3, 2025 at 4:16 PM
A quick Google search confirmed Boy II Men wearing the exclusive Newman Brat line. #NotFurling @ntnewman.bsky.social
I will not seek no will I accept the position of pope.
April 22, 2025 at 2:17 PM
I will not seek no will I accept the position of pope.
I love you. I’m just not “in” love with you.
April 20, 2025 at 12:52 AM
I love you. I’m just not “in” love with you.
I have averaged one alcohol beverage every 10 days and 9 hours this year so far.
a man with a beard is surrounded by mathematical equations on his face
ALT: a man with a beard is surrounded by mathematical equations on his face
media.tenor.com
March 28, 2025 at 11:20 PM
I have averaged one alcohol beverage every 10 days and 9 hours this year so far.
Reposted by Newman
Congrats to McNeese State for advancing on to the next round of the NCAA Tournament. I hope your sister schools all do good as well, fingers crossed for McHead, McShoulders, and McToes State in their games today
a teddy bear is singing into a microphone while wearing a tie .
ALT: a teddy bear is singing into a microphone while wearing a tie .
media.tenor.com
March 20, 2025 at 10:21 PM
Congrats to McNeese State for advancing on to the next round of the NCAA Tournament. I hope your sister schools all do good as well, fingers crossed for McHead, McShoulders, and McToes State in their games today