Oh hey no, it’s fine, it’s not like I had other things I could have been doing during this time. Totally fine that you canceled our meeting after it was scheduled to start. I am literally at everyone’s beck and call, after all. I have nothing else going on except waiting for people to talk to.

Do YOU think I’m being passive aggressive?

I mean I was going to spend my Monday the way I spend all of my Mondays: groaning, complaining, and doing as little work as possible. But sure, I’ll do your little fire drill instead. Whatever.

Sir you are a service manager. You have been one for years. Longer than I have been in this job. And when I tell you to provide a roadmap for an executive audience, you should know I mean the strategic one. Don’t play dumb.

Look I’m real glad you’re so happy to see me on this call but I do not remember who you are, and the fact that you keep insisting that we “go way back” is uncomfortable and I want you to stop doing it.

Using ChatGPT to write your presentation for you but then passing it off as *for the bit* is kinda genius actually.

How many asterisks can one slide support?? We find out on today’s episode of “Did This Really Need to Be a Firedrill?”

Well, my whole job is a series of fetch quests only the guy asking for fifteen pieces of Wolf Pelt needs them by COB today and I won’t know until I’m done that he actually wanted them all the same color, so…fine I guess? How are you?

No. I won’t do this. Not until you can tell me the context of the request and the expected or desired outcomes. In writing. With numbers. Until then I’ll sit here with my arms crossed pouting like a toddler. I’ll wait.

Listen, I don’t know if anyone has told you this, but you aren’t funny. You think you are. But anyone laughing is only doing it to be polite because you inexplicably have power.

Hours worked is more vibes than actual time measurement. Log them shits how they feel.

I think if you are the kind of leader who knows who among your staff is a furry, you are doing a pretty bang up job.

Shut the fuck up for one goddamn second. Please. Now.

Yes, using ChatGPT to generate feedback for your employee IS a dick move. I don’t care what the policy says. Don’t be an asshole. Have a bad day.

this is how your email finds me

Yeah, well, Kelly says a lot of things, doesn’t she?