fuuuck fuck fuck I learn more awful things I've done that I'm too fucking inept to catch and now I just wonder

if anyone would actually be upset if I was gone

... should i have quit...?

almost feelike deleting all the venting and talking about oc nsfw...
but I would be truly yelling to the void
nobody knows this place exists

paranoidly wondering if ____ is fed up with me

There goes all the pretenses I guess

I don't... really think they were ever actually willing to reconcile /at all/, even despite our friend's wishes

unfortunately, I'm still just going to live by the assumption that everyone hates me and thinks I'm a terrible person, so

as much as I wanna message ____, I won't... not unless if she wants to talk to me

I just need to remember. there are people that are counting on me. my roommate, my cat, my future roommate...

if I die, shit changes and they're gonna get fucked over

i don't want to lie but I don't think I deserve to do anything that makes me happy rn

auuughgaghg it's happening again

I feel like I'm going insane
I'm bitchy, I know
I just... Man.
I don't like playing a character that literally does nothing and it felt kinda bad to do something and then get cut off before I could even do more

I'm just. not gonna think about being focused down by

What, 4-5 people? because my character does DPS and was possessed?
Like yeah monks can do damage but the two gm NPCs just did 50 damage AOE, 32 damage, and 40 damage

y'all really are afraid of some fuckin 1d8+5 spear hits? 1d8+4 punches????

me with my new meds is like I put a muzzle on my anger issues

aesthetic ???

god damn it. stop!!! stop being rude, moo!! didn't you just talk to your therapist about this??

but also, i know why it happens. bc impulse is kind of an issue but

vow of silence. I'm just not going to talk at all unless spoken to
world's better off without me saying shit anyway
Maybe that way I can pretend I quit the campaign instead

maybe I'll just quit
I'll make myself miserable but I deserve it anyways

That way people can have fun

at least I'll vent it here where nobody will see:

when someone talks nonstop about how they're enjoying x with someone else while simultaneously doing y with me

I'm gonna feel like shit
and that's gonna build up resentment, especially towards the action of x specifically
because it's like.

Well, at least they're my voice of reason...

I'm far too passive to state the full reasons for why my frustration is where it is
Wouldn't really change how invalid it is anyway though; I am just a bitch LMAO