Do you think when they finally come for you, you're going to be able to say. "Wait, wait, wait, hold on a second..." *rifles through tactical fanny pack* "If you look on this page right here, it says this is actually against the constitution."

The cone of shame is the last thing I see before I close my eyes each night.

... and listen, I'm not saying bleeding is impure, and I should be FORCED to be confined to a tent. I'm just saying I'd like the option. Give me a good book, some red raspberry tea, and peace.

Updating this to add: I have long covid and untreated ADHD. I already do this.

Updating my linked in to add "unpublished author/chef"

Then, if you have kids: get yourself some wheat tortillas and literally put anything in it for a "______" Rollie Pollie Ollie. (That's a generational recipe, too.) Old cheese? Cheesy rollie pollie ollie. Peanut butter, honey, jam, etc. You get the idea.

The next one involves finding an almost expired jar of green salsa and warming it up with rotisserie chicken (that part is optional. If you don't have rotisserie chicken, any protein will do.) THEN (this is the most important part), you layer some sunflower seeds in there for crunch.

I'm playing around with the first couple of recipes, but if you spread jelly around a fancy cup, scrape the last of a container of yogurt in there, find a bag of old granola crumbs, layer it and put some old freezer burned blueberries on top of that... it's pretty tasty!

Excuse me ma'am I could report you to HR for not giving me designated bathroom breaks with the reasonable expectation of privacy.