HMH Murray
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nillcord.bsky.social
HMH Murray
@nillcord.bsky.social
2.1K followers 1.8K following 2.6K posts
Writer of space opera and fanfiction
NYC Midnight Finalist SS 2024
Futurescapes 2022
Codexian SFWA

http://hmhmurray.substack.com

https://books2read.com/u/47LkkR
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nillcord.bsky.social
Aside from misallocating my commas, this is my most common kind of typo.

I call it: the edit without the delete.

My brain just stutters and doesn't finish the process.
November 23, 2025 at 9:07 PM
nillcord.bsky.social
The point in editing when you wonder if you should cut action. Attempted assassination? Needed or not? It makes sense to me, and it shows a Kamen skill that becomes important later...

Anyway, the highlighted text is mostly full of notes with me going ugh ugh no. Cut this sentence.
November 20, 2025 at 1:08 AM
nillcord.bsky.social
I am most assuredly the only person avidly following the evolution of the first page of Navvies' Flight's prologue, but here it is.
Prologue Mureen of Glos Fifteen Standard Months Ago, UNITY ASCENDANT, Feldelroy Orbital Ring Thanks to Admiral Vadim’s rather dubious good will, the Kamen Elders had been assigned quarters in the Ascendant’s petty officer cabins, located in the hinterlands of the octune deck below the bridge and near the dreadnaught’s stern. Since the junior Ken’ri they supervised were bunked on the opposite end of the ship—tucked into a converted maintenance corridor off the forward bow—Mureen had to pass through four checkpoints to reach her mentor's cabin. The Unity commandos assigned to those checkpoints had been expecting a lot more action on this historic mission, and being demoted to reviewing credentials in a secured hallway made their restlessness show. Mureen thought she could have learned a lot about Vadim’s plans in a few moments’ gossip with those bored soldiers, but she couldn’t spare the time. Her mentor’s summons had been the first thing she’d seen returning to her bunk that morning. A handwritten, SEE ME IMMEDIATELY tucked on her pillow, which meant Ells had traversed the entire length of the ship to find her himself. Sixteen years of his training had taught Mureen that such effort from her normally staid mentor required a quick response. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there…” she began from the door. “I spent the night in Medical.”
November 19, 2025 at 3:50 AM
nillcord.bsky.social
Today's editing tale is about tightening narrative lines. Cutting extraneous detail.

It does make sense that Mureen and Rathe would have some way of tracking each other. There was a point in drafting when this was major...

But it's not now.

I think the detail about Polla's tracker is cool, but
November 16, 2025 at 9:30 PM
nillcord.bsky.social
Today's pass at the opener. Today I don't hate it.

And I really like the space font I found.
November 16, 2025 at 12:29 AM
nillcord.bsky.social
Bane of editorial existence. Those times you introduce something, cut the line later, and then don't see that you refer to it more in the pages.

Copyeditors can catch some of those, but sometimes they're too subtle, or just hard to see. *I* just found one that I'd read like fifteen times...
“Not since I was a child.” Davad had slouched against the side of an unoccupied navchair, a half-drunk glass of whiskey dangling in hand. He looked so bored that I suspected he was doing it to annoy me. “But every major House keeps places like this—to facilitate free trade with Fringer space.” “Illegal trade,” I said. “You 12Fam can’t even keep the laws you set for yourselves.” He snorted. “These markets provide liquidity. Goods that are too scarce or dangerous or morally suspect change hands here, without Unity restrictions.” “Like addictive drugs? Illegal mods?” I feigned a yawn. “You know, I’ve never heard you mention your mother before. Wasn’t sure you had one.” “A Fringer smuggler can hardly complain about free markets.” “Met many of us, have you?” “A few.” His tone hardened. “For our purposes, Pilot, Moonbase Celestean is a port where no one will ask questions about a ship carrying Arkan executive codes. Leave it at that.” “Yeah? Say, how come your ma didn’t greet us in the family bath back on Earff? Does she not like looking at your father either?” “Mother’s dead.” I saw a muscle in his cheek jump. “For sixteen
November 15, 2025 at 4:03 PM
nillcord.bsky.social
The weeds are taking over, even with a paragraph break at the highlight.
November 14, 2025 at 9:41 PM
nillcord.bsky.social
Good to know... It's still a wip.

Thanks to Admiral Vadim's rather dubious generosity, the Kamen Elders had been assigned to the Ascendant's petty officer cabins, which were located in the hinterlands of the octune deck, below the bridge and near the dreadnaught's stern.

Generosity? Good will?
November 13, 2025 at 11:19 PM
nillcord.bsky.social
This is what happens when you try to rewrite your opener with more detail. This is not the final version. This is a mess of very long sentences.

But I will argue that sometimes you need to write all the points out to figure out what needs to be said and when.
November 13, 2025 at 7:30 PM
nillcord.bsky.social
books2read.com/u/4DpyXr

Preorder for Navvies' Flight is live, and beta reviews are in.

"MAGNIFICENT."
"The stakes are about as high as they could be for Polla... she might be causing destruction and death... And she might be disappearing into Ledas, losing her very self..."
"DUNE"
November 9, 2025 at 12:18 PM
nillcord.bsky.social
Showdown... Also working on page layouts.
November 6, 2025 at 10:18 PM
nillcord.bsky.social
Another review for NAVVY DREAMS. Hey, keep the epic comparisons coming )

books2read.com/u/47LkkR
October 23, 2025 at 8:11 PM
nillcord.bsky.social
Some official beta feedback for NAVVIES' FLIGHT...

Kind of thrilled with the DUNE comparison, not gonna lie. I wanted that epic scale, only writ a lot more intimate in tone. Glad that came across.
October 22, 2025 at 4:39 PM
nillcord.bsky.social
#WIPSnips, #WtitingCommunity, #WritingPrompts "battery," the one occurrence in Navvies' Flight.

My thoughts: ships in the #navvyverse have some kind of fusion engine for propulsion, and solar sails for sunlight flight... But they need separate fuel and batteries to run their life support systems.
The kiss was more than a little sore around the edges, and so I slapped on another derm, and then she and I continued reassembling one of the turbines that kept our oxygenated air flowing; one I couldn’t help but notice hadn’t looked broken to begin with. I hadn’t forgotten that Davad’s priceless artifact, Bene Dix’s Crown. I hadn’t forgotten about Ledas’s stone gir, which Davad had stolen back, either. I also hadn’t forgotten the strange sense I kept having of being followed. I still had the gun Ells had given me, but I wanted that gir back. Didn’t seem healthy for Davad to keep the very dagger that he’d used to shank his sister, but finding an opportunity to rob him (again) was harder than I expected. For, as if they’d planned it, I was never alone. Rathe returned in the late afternoon to find me and Mureen completing an inventory of the Escape’s battery reserves. My copilot dragged me to his quarters, pressing me against the wall so rapidly and roughly that it took time for both of
October 9, 2025 at 9:53 AM
nillcord.bsky.social
#WIPSnips #WritingCommunity #WritingPrompts wotd "safe"

Our Heroine meets the man she's forgotten, the monster she made, and, after some fisticuffs they take a walk through a ruined city.
—and felt agony a sharp agony in my own side reduce me to whimpers. Nate’s flesh gave sickeningly under the assault, but it was my knees that buckled. “Oof!” His rotting navhand removed my fingers from my own gir as his other arm kept me standing. “You felt that?” He sounded astonished as I hit him with the gir again clumsy and weeping like a child. If he hadn’t been holding me up, I would have fallen. “I felt you feel… You can feel my pain?” His voice was almost tender. “You’re defenseless, aren’t you? Put it away now.” He guided my freehand holding the weapon into my pocket. “You’ll need it later.” “Want me to kill you later?” I wanted to be threatening but my voice kept shaking. “No, you’ll need a focus…” He chuckled softly. “You truly have no idea about anything, do you?” I shook my head. He reached for my hand, and I danced back. He gestured to the street, and somehow we began walking, side-by-side, through the streets of my deserted city. “Thank you for abandoning your companions,” he said after a few blocks. “Edat… might have worked. What stopped you? I can see it wasn’t love.” “There are people on that planet.” I muttered. “Not just you.” “We keep hidden to keep the Faege safe.” His eyes were half-lidded, almost lazy. Somehow I knew that expression. Victory. This bimhole thought he’d won. Nate loves to win, but he never admits it. The cold voice had warmed, but I felt something else less encouraging. Fear. He’s so much stronger than he was. I could always hold back his influence before, but now— “I want to keep the people here safe.” A hero would say that. I’d never felt less like one. “I’ll do anything you want if you leave Feldelroy alone.” “I know.” The skin on his face was already closing, but it looked burned, paper-thin, and his voice was still distorted. The bullet had left a charred black place through one broad cheek, marring his uncanny symmetry. “But your children are starving, and these people welcomed us. Do you realize how extraordinary it is t…
October 8, 2025 at 2:50 AM
nillcord.bsky.social
I'm not great at self-promotion, but here's a recent review of Navvy from Goodreads that does a great job of summing up what book one is about... Check it out! (Link in profile)
October 6, 2025 at 10:16 PM
nillcord.bsky.social
#WritingCommunity #WIPSnips #WritingPrompts wotd "miss"

Our Heroine has a conversation with her navvy. The thing to know re navvies is: since they exist kind of in a different plane of existence, their understanding of word meanings is often not precise, or sometimes roo precise.
[Sexy and her Prime have returned to the Escape,] Second added. I raised my freehand to decline the dancers’ invitation. [Do they know we’re missing yet?] [Missing what?] I snorted. Wouldn’t be long before they noticed I hadn’t emerged from my room for lunch… And then? We were supposed to fly out tomorrow. Maybe I could save those kids today. Maybe, with an Arkan of Arkan chit, I could override all the auction rules and just take ’em. Maybe I could blackmail Davad, the real Arkan of Arkan (whatever that meant), into dropping eight grateful urchins off at our next port of call. I tried another tasteless bite of cheese. Fond as I’d grown of my companions, they had given me a murderer’s leg. Grace only reached so far. I gnawed on my lower lip as the true calculus of their deception tumbled in my head. Even Rathe hadn’t told me everything—not before he had to. My gaze wandered to a holoscreen as it ended its sport play-by, and now showed people covered in a green vapor that didn’t look ethical. The chyron below listed planets—Ilko, McPhee5, CanusDaya. Then: DEVASTATION ON CANUS! WHERE WILL THE KROVLORD STRIKE NEXT? Didn’t stopping Illcord Natoth justify a few lies? And how are they planning to kill him? My conscience wondered. Isn’t it odd they’ve never said? I tapped my hand on the table. It was. [Why surprise Sexy?] Second broke in. [I like surprises. Don’t you?] [Prime Imposter is too surprising,] Second replied. [I do not like it.]
October 6, 2025 at 6:44 PM
nillcord.bsky.social
#SFFChat 4. Snippet Haunting: from Book Three: Navvy War 💙📚🪐

A snippet from one of the creepiest scenes in the series.
A wooden platter ignored gravity and lowered itself to the ground next to my navhand. Full of deliciousness. My stomach rumbled. "Uhh," I agreed. "I should eat." "You must," the guard urged. I rolled over to the tray and crammed something into my mouth. Delicious. I heard noises--grunts and snorting. I started to whirl around to see where Sam was and then realized the noises were coming from me. My hand was smeared with something like gravy and I sucked my fingers as I tried to feel my face. A Feldelroyan tale of a girl who'd gone to the hills instead of church flitted through my head, abruptly. The girl in the tale had turned into a pig because of poor manners at the table. We'd actually kept pigs for a while on Adaston Farm-- My sluggish brain stirred. We'd--we’d kept-- My brain made a startled, horrified connection between the pigs and my noises, but my mouth continued just chewing. One bite after another. I lifted one of the leather skins that held water and gulped it down. Sweet. Good. [Prime Imposter?] Second sounded cautious.
October 4, 2025 at 2:56 PM
nillcord.bsky.social
#WritingCommunity #WIPSnips #WritingPrompts wotd "salmon"

Fish was easy...

I like this scene, kind of a peaceful beat in the chaos...
“Do you believe him?” “I do.” “Just how far is that lake?” I didn’t want to talk about my failing kiss, and how much it ached. “Not far. Do you want to go?” “Cold for a swim.” “Mureen and I heat the water.” “Isn’t that bad for the fish?” “We didn’t see any.” He looked startled, as if the thought had never occurred. The lake was salt-rimmed, possibly formed from a bomb crater, and probably contaminated; ringed with rusted debris and blasted rock. We swam in it anyway. We never did see a fish, although Rathe made a show of constructing a device to catch some on our second day. It turned out our Kamen-lords didn’t heat the entire lake; just spots of warmth we basked in like mythical dolphins from Earff. I recovered much of my cheerful nature in those dubious waters, pushing my doubts and the horror from our recent past into a fast-overflowing mental vault—one already stuffed with fragments of Starfire’s memories, the dreams I was having every night about lions, and my creeping guilt about those lost on Carolina and Celestean. I spent as little time in the ship as possible. I had begun automatically avoiding all contact with the bloodship’s skin—even when it meant I had to jump an entire meter across a place with no metal plating just to use the lav. Later, I thought about that. Worry about that later. (The unfortunate thing about later is that it always comes.)
October 2, 2025 at 5:11 PM
nillcord.bsky.social
#WIPSnips #WritingCommunity #WritingPrompts wotd "river"
heart in that moment—but I had to be brave for the both of us— And then, from the room behind, we both heard it. A thin wail. Another person had arrived to fit between us three— “Cave, huh?” Rathe’s arms were wrapped ’round me. We lay side my side, hands interlaced, below a sky thick with stars. “Didn’t know you liked to swim.” We didn’t much back home, being as the rivers had too many things with suckers and teeth and the livestock ponds gave dysentery. But I shrugged. “Funny, how stuff pops up you don’t remember awake. We went to some caves in Strangways—” “The mysterious Strangways.” The warm sun beat down overhead, slicing through that night sky I’d made. The water dissolved and the deck of his sailing ship rocked gently, back and forth. “Gonna finally tell me about your planet’s infamous torture retreats for kids?” I laughed. “Coming of age thing. Summers with the Priests.”
October 1, 2025 at 2:22 PM
nillcord.bsky.social
How am I supposed to write convincing villains when the ones among us say things that are this crazy and stupid?

Sometimes it flummoxes me
Cernovitch saying something about Tsar Nicholas being right, idk.
October 1, 2025 at 6:50 AM
nillcord.bsky.social
#WritingCommunity #WritingPrompts #WriteSky wotd "paw"

In the metaphysical world of hyperspace dreaming, sometimes you see weird things. Like lions who seem to know you.
In that bubble, I beat my wings desperately, aiming for the blocked waypoint, through that Living Fleet. At Carolina, they’d parted to let us through—but here they thickened like ice. Layers forming a solid interlaced block. I felt Lia’s terror as our fragile shell dodged the debris of broken ships, the casualties of our war. Lia didn’t want to go toward that blocked jump point, she wanted to retreat, hide, find another way out, but I set my spurs to her flanks—and we ran—we charged forward, we fled into the wake of the rising tide— The lion’s paw reached out lazily and swatted us. I fluttered and fell. I felt a god’s hand cup my fragile bird-body. Alien eyes bore into mine, and a warm, rough tongue knocked me sideways. A curious finger poked my wing, stroking my fragile flesh. Can you still fly on your own, my love? The lion chuckled softly. Shall we see what remains? A god’s hand raised to his lips. His warm breath blew—and we tumbled free— (The analogy’s imperfect. But a mother cat licks her newly-born babe so, cleaning off the afterbirth, forcing circulation, breath back into lungs, pushing an awakening into that tiny scrap of soul—)
September 30, 2025 at 5:39 PM
nillcord.bsky.social
#WIPSnips #WritingCommunity #WritingPrompts wotd "bear"

Unbearably is the closest I can find... And isn't it strange it's not spelled "unbareably?"

I feel like I'm having a covid brain moment where I don't know why.
he’d shared something so primal. “It… um, it happens.” “I don’t mean the sex—” “I know.” His face above mine looked an interesting shade of pink. I wondered if he was projecting that blush, or if that was me. No pilot I’d ever known would care about the sex, but feelings—those had been almost unbearably intimate. “So… Wade? You two were really serious.” “Sometimes.” His forehead pressed into mine. “Wade’s… complicated.” “I get it.” We were heading to NewLaramie and I had my own demons there, not to mention a dead woman’s memories. And speaking of those… “Uh, you slot into Bedalia a lot on Earff, that year I was unconscious?” “Yeah.” He frowned. “Mostly it was just me and my own head in here.” He kissed me. “I like yours better.” You wouldn’t if you knew who was in it, I thought. “Just yours?” A shadow seemed to cross his face. “Lia and I talked sometimes. Look, about Wade and me—he wasn’t a nice guy—” This time it was I who laughed. “Spare me the details about his mind, but I don’t care if you share more about his body.” “Wade’s?” I felt more than saw his amusement. “Want to see it?” “I could be it,” I offered, to his wandering hand. But my own memories had other ideas.
September 29, 2025 at 3:14 PM
nillcord.bsky.social
#WIPSnips #WritingCommunity #WritingPrompts wotd "ink"

Our Heroine and her nurse android find a Pilot's Bar.
way deeper into the station’s underbelly. Found the pilot bar where they nearly always are: on the bottom station level, inset along the edge of the main dome off the main drag. Every station in the Fringer-controlled Milky has a joint like the one my navvy had homed in on, with a sign stamped in an ink closer to the ultraviolet than what typical humans see. “A low establishment,” my android clucked as we stood in the short entrance line, waiting for a formal pat-down by the bored bouncer. “Not suitable for a Precious Patient. Station Security recommends several fine dining experiences on the Gallery and Mezzanine levels as alternatives!” “But I’m hungry!” I grinned at the muscular hunk checking for weapons at the door. She practically jumped when the beam of light from her visor hit my gloved, starboard hand and an alarm chimed, as if she hadn’t realized I was a pilot before that. Her visor beeped again when it hit my boot, and then she gestured me forward for a more thorough search. She found the hidden pistol straightaway. “Got a license?”
September 28, 2025 at 7:30 PM
nillcord.bsky.social
#WIPSnips #WritingCommunity #WritingPromots word "flurry"

I don't have flurry in this scene, but I probably should.

Our Heroine fights for the endgame. I'm
fast, with my weapon still hanging out of his back. I lost grip on mine immediately. I felt his razor point scrape through the wormwoven fabric, ripping it through as I dodged, tumbling back against the bike, and then down the slope of road. Somehow the gir snapped into my hand again. Somehow it rose to stave off a quick succession of attacks on my fore. Nate’s weapon descended like a krov-driven golem while its owner loomed above, his face twisted with rage. “You little fool!” That spear sliced dangerously close to my skin. “Challenging me here... in front of them—you have to yield!” “Get fragged!” Whatever torpor had held me back was gone. A blue shield flickered between us and his spear glanced off its surface. I took the opportunity to scramble to my feet, dimly aware our audience had grown silent. “Let those people go!” “I can’t,” he said. “Lee, yield. You don’t understand—a challenge before Ifr, it’s a fight—” “To the death, Nate. I know.” Your cold voice emerged from my lips. Pure and easy rage lent my arms strength. I didn't question how I repelled his blows, nor how I suddenly seemed to possess talents well beyond anything Mureen had showed me. The skill was there, and I used it.
September 22, 2025 at 9:34 PM