NewsThump
@newsthump.com
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Sometimes simplicity is best. And when it comes to Christmas jumpers, we've got you covered. Get this 100% organic cotton sweatshirt with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/4Hfi2L2
November 15, 2025 at 10:28 AM
Sometimes simplicity is best. And when it comes to Christmas jumpers, we've got you covered. Get this 100% organic cotton sweatshirt with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/4Hfi2L2
Freak in the sheets. The perfect T-shirt for the spreadsheet aficionado in your life! Get yours with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/wF04bit
November 14, 2025 at 11:28 AM
Freak in the sheets. The perfect T-shirt for the spreadsheet aficionado in your life! Get yours with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/wF04bit
I'm participating, leave me alone. The essential Christmas jumper for those who would rather be elsewhere and introverts alike. Get yours in a range of colours with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/3AHprib
November 13, 2025 at 12:31 PM
I'm participating, leave me alone. The essential Christmas jumper for those who would rather be elsewhere and introverts alike. Get yours in a range of colours with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/3AHprib
Merry Christmas (even to you arseholes) - because festive gatherings are sometimes better with a dash of honesty! Get yours with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/g7fMi43
November 12, 2025 at 3:52 PM
Merry Christmas (even to you arseholes) - because festive gatherings are sometimes better with a dash of honesty! Get yours with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/g7fMi43
Updated for 2025! Nakatomi Corporation Christmas Party - It'll be a blast! Because Die Hard is most definitely a Christmas movie. Get yours with FREE UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/0SsNWXb
November 11, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Updated for 2025! Nakatomi Corporation Christmas Party - It'll be a blast! Because Die Hard is most definitely a Christmas movie. Get yours with FREE UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/0SsNWXb
Lest we forget.
The Royal British Legion do lots of great work all year round, not just at this time of remembrance. You can support them either with a one-off payment, with a poppy, or with a monthly amount. Find the details here >>> buff.ly/KSIKZME
The Royal British Legion do lots of great work all year round, not just at this time of remembrance. You can support them either with a one-off payment, with a poppy, or with a monthly amount. Find the details here >>> buff.ly/KSIKZME
November 11, 2025 at 11:00 AM
Lest we forget.
The Royal British Legion do lots of great work all year round, not just at this time of remembrance. You can support them either with a one-off payment, with a poppy, or with a monthly amount. Find the details here >>> buff.ly/KSIKZME
The Royal British Legion do lots of great work all year round, not just at this time of remembrance. You can support them either with a one-off payment, with a poppy, or with a monthly amount. Find the details here >>> buff.ly/KSIKZME
Suing someone for publishing something misleading feels like a thread Trump in particular shouldn't be keen on pulling at...?
November 10, 2025 at 2:48 PM
Suing someone for publishing something misleading feels like a thread Trump in particular shouldn't be keen on pulling at...?
The absolute BEST way to arrive at your office Christmas party. Bar none. Get yours with FREE UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/cvFK6wD
November 10, 2025 at 1:03 PM
The absolute BEST way to arrive at your office Christmas party. Bar none. Get yours with FREE UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/cvFK6wD
On the same day that two senior execs resigned from the BBC for a misleading edit to a Trump speech, Trump himself shared as true a fake story (from a satire site) about Obama getting royalties from Obamacare.
I wonder who'll be forced to resign for spreading such obvious fake news?
Anyone?
I wonder who'll be forced to resign for spreading such obvious fake news?
Anyone?
November 10, 2025 at 11:17 AM
On the same day that two senior execs resigned from the BBC for a misleading edit to a Trump speech, Trump himself shared as true a fake story (from a satire site) about Obama getting royalties from Obamacare.
I wonder who'll be forced to resign for spreading such obvious fake news?
Anyone?
I wonder who'll be forced to resign for spreading such obvious fake news?
Anyone?
The North Place. Keep yourself warm this Christmas with a subtle nod to our friend from the north with this The North Place Christmas Jumper! See the range of colours and get FREE UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/DcXmkug
November 9, 2025 at 12:13 PM
The North Place. Keep yourself warm this Christmas with a subtle nod to our friend from the north with this The North Place Christmas Jumper! See the range of colours and get FREE UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/DcXmkug
Classically trained. For drivers who still shift their own gears. Get yours with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/QMd7wKo
November 8, 2025 at 2:27 PM
Classically trained. For drivers who still shift their own gears. Get yours with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/QMd7wKo
Merry Christmas - Even to you a**esholes. The perfect Christmas jumper for that special get-together with people who will appreciate this sentiment. Get it with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/hvCkAkF
November 7, 2025 at 12:04 PM
Merry Christmas - Even to you a**esholes. The perfect Christmas jumper for that special get-together with people who will appreciate this sentiment. Get it with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/hvCkAkF
"The fact that we're having to put signs on the rooms that he uses every single day in no way adds weight to the scurrilous dementia rumours"
November 7, 2025 at 9:40 AM
"The fact that we're having to put signs on the rooms that he uses every single day in no way adds weight to the scurrilous dementia rumours"
Trump's reaction when a guest fainted in the Oval Office was just... *chef's kiss*
November 6, 2025 at 8:45 PM
Trump's reaction when a guest fainted in the Oval Office was just... *chef's kiss*
I felt a bit funny after dinner tonight, and after checking the best-before date on this sauce bottle, I realised it is over FOUR THOUSAND years out of date! Do the supermarkets think we’re too stupid to notice these things?!
November 6, 2025 at 7:55 PM
I felt a bit funny after dinner tonight, and after checking the best-before date on this sauce bottle, I realised it is over FOUR THOUSAND years out of date! Do the supermarkets think we’re too stupid to notice these things?!
Punching Nazis is always cool. Get your T-shirt in a range of colours with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/zQpxU20
November 6, 2025 at 6:28 PM
Punching Nazis is always cool. Get your T-shirt in a range of colours with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/zQpxU20
I have been bullied by a 7-year-old girl. And now I'm raising money for Movember while growing a humiliatingly inadequate moustache. I would appreciate donations (no matter how small!) here >>> movember.com/m/newsthump
November 6, 2025 at 1:52 PM
I have been bullied by a 7-year-old girl. And now I'm raising money for Movember while growing a humiliatingly inadequate moustache. I would appreciate donations (no matter how small!) here >>> movember.com/m/newsthump
Evolution of a voter (you can guess which kind). Get it on a 100% organic cotton T-shirt and with free UK delivery right here >>> buff.ly/Mc768xT
November 6, 2025 at 12:45 PM
Evolution of a voter (you can guess which kind). Get it on a 100% organic cotton T-shirt and with free UK delivery right here >>> buff.ly/Mc768xT
Elon Bums Hobbits. It's the only explanation for his ongoing fascination with the 'Shire' and its inhabitants. Get your 100% organic cotton Tee with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/N21z2P8
November 5, 2025 at 3:36 PM
Elon Bums Hobbits. It's the only explanation for his ongoing fascination with the 'Shire' and its inhabitants. Get your 100% organic cotton Tee with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/N21z2P8
"That thing is going to rot your brain..."
November 5, 2025 at 1:17 PM
"That thing is going to rot your brain..."
Naughty List Founding Member. Get your new 100% organic cotton Christmas jumper with free UK delivery right here >>> buff.ly/o2MOhoY
November 5, 2025 at 11:37 AM
Naughty List Founding Member. Get your new 100% organic cotton Christmas jumper with free UK delivery right here >>> buff.ly/o2MOhoY
Evolution to man's greatest form. Get your T-shirt with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/Wk5jaC3
November 4, 2025 at 8:16 PM
Evolution to man's greatest form. Get your T-shirt with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/Wk5jaC3
Elon's been doing some first-hand investigating for a change...
November 4, 2025 at 3:59 PM
Elon's been doing some first-hand investigating for a change...
The Frog-Faced Moron Herder. Get yours with FREE UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/SSOeASX
November 4, 2025 at 3:31 PM
The Frog-Faced Moron Herder. Get yours with FREE UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/SSOeASX
Oh, this is just *chef's kiss*
This Reform Council now has two options.
1. Take down the flags due to their own "health and safety" rules (which they claim to despise)
2. Leave them up and become one of those infamous "Cancelling Christmas" councils
Decisions decisions...
This Reform Council now has two options.
1. Take down the flags due to their own "health and safety" rules (which they claim to despise)
2. Leave them up and become one of those infamous "Cancelling Christmas" councils
Decisions decisions...
November 4, 2025 at 1:37 PM
Oh, this is just *chef's kiss*
This Reform Council now has two options.
1. Take down the flags due to their own "health and safety" rules (which they claim to despise)
2. Leave them up and become one of those infamous "Cancelling Christmas" councils
Decisions decisions...
This Reform Council now has two options.
1. Take down the flags due to their own "health and safety" rules (which they claim to despise)
2. Leave them up and become one of those infamous "Cancelling Christmas" councils
Decisions decisions...