Honey, you’ve barely touched your mediastinum tonight
June 6, 2025 at 2:25 AM
Honey, you’ve barely touched your mediastinum tonight
I want to fucking scream in their faces but I can’t. I feel like my insides are disintegrating and catching on fire.
February 26, 2025 at 5:13 AM
I want to fucking scream in their faces but I can’t. I feel like my insides are disintegrating and catching on fire.
If the Super Bowl was a 90s movie, the ending would have included a clip from EW revealing Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift’s relationship was a PR stunt all along and then a mischievous squirrel would run up and snatch Travis Kelce’s toupee off his head right before the credits roll.
February 14, 2025 at 4:41 AM
If the Super Bowl was a 90s movie, the ending would have included a clip from EW revealing Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift’s relationship was a PR stunt all along and then a mischievous squirrel would run up and snatch Travis Kelce’s toupee off his head right before the credits roll.
The stereotype of men being bad at grocery shopping is 100% real
February 10, 2025 at 3:56 AM
The stereotype of men being bad at grocery shopping is 100% real
Reposted
Reposted
I’m just a girl, standing in front of a fan, talking into it so I sound like a robot.
February 8, 2025 at 5:51 PM
I’m just a girl, standing in front of a fan, talking into it so I sound like a robot.
Yesterday was my first month of my weight loss journey. I might not always have good months like January but I’m excited to see how this unfolds. I also did 80 miles of cycling on my Peloton, dropped 4 inches and 1 pant size. I still have a long way to go.
February 8, 2025 at 10:10 PM
Yesterday was my first month of my weight loss journey. I might not always have good months like January but I’m excited to see how this unfolds. I also did 80 miles of cycling on my Peloton, dropped 4 inches and 1 pant size. I still have a long way to go.
Wegovy Weekend report: I couldn’t get my prescription until today because insurance companies hate giving anti-obesity medication to obesity patients. They’re like “are you sure she still needs it? Can’t she just like, stop eating?”
February 8, 2025 at 10:06 PM
Wegovy Weekend report: I couldn’t get my prescription until today because insurance companies hate giving anti-obesity medication to obesity patients. They’re like “are you sure she still needs it? Can’t she just like, stop eating?”
Is he dead yet?
February 8, 2025 at 6:17 AM
Is he dead yet?
Every medical drama:
Patient comes in to the ER on a gurney.
DOCTORS: “patient has 2 broken ribs…”
PATIENT, totally unprompted: “I was putting in a light fixture.”
NURSE: “going to need to call anesthesia.”
PATIENT, still unprompted: “GOING TO PAINT THE GUEST BATH NEXT. MY SON IS FIVE…”
Patient comes in to the ER on a gurney.
DOCTORS: “patient has 2 broken ribs…”
PATIENT, totally unprompted: “I was putting in a light fixture.”
NURSE: “going to need to call anesthesia.”
PATIENT, still unprompted: “GOING TO PAINT THE GUEST BATH NEXT. MY SON IS FIVE…”
February 7, 2025 at 8:47 PM
Every medical drama:
Patient comes in to the ER on a gurney.
DOCTORS: “patient has 2 broken ribs…”
PATIENT, totally unprompted: “I was putting in a light fixture.”
NURSE: “going to need to call anesthesia.”
PATIENT, still unprompted: “GOING TO PAINT THE GUEST BATH NEXT. MY SON IS FIVE…”
Patient comes in to the ER on a gurney.
DOCTORS: “patient has 2 broken ribs…”
PATIENT, totally unprompted: “I was putting in a light fixture.”
NURSE: “going to need to call anesthesia.”
PATIENT, still unprompted: “GOING TO PAINT THE GUEST BATH NEXT. MY SON IS FIVE…”
Top this: I’ve been horribly sick with the flu the past two days, tried to study for a big exam in a haze of nonstop DayQuil rounds, failed first exam, then I projectile vomitted all over the classroom during exam 2. Then on the drive home through a storm, I spun out and almost killed myself.
February 7, 2025 at 1:14 AM
Top this: I’ve been horribly sick with the flu the past two days, tried to study for a big exam in a haze of nonstop DayQuil rounds, failed first exam, then I projectile vomitted all over the classroom during exam 2. Then on the drive home through a storm, I spun out and almost killed myself.
My biggest hardship as a modern day woman is that I don’t have a hot girl voice. You can imagine what I’m up against.
February 6, 2025 at 9:30 PM
My biggest hardship as a modern day woman is that I don’t have a hot girl voice. You can imagine what I’m up against.
Does anyone have any tips n’ tricks for studying while so deathly sick you want to rip your own eyeballs out of your skull?
February 5, 2025 at 5:47 PM
Does anyone have any tips n’ tricks for studying while so deathly sick you want to rip your own eyeballs out of your skull?
Every morning I turn on Internet and am greeted with “Here’s why things are not as bad as they seem” immediately followed by “Here’s the top 10 worse things that happened while you were sleeping” so yeah, I have trust issues.
February 5, 2025 at 5:46 AM
Every morning I turn on Internet and am greeted with “Here’s why things are not as bad as they seem” immediately followed by “Here’s the top 10 worse things that happened while you were sleeping” so yeah, I have trust issues.
Why is this fucking flag so extra gigantic
February 3, 2025 at 6:10 PM
Why is this fucking flag so extra gigantic
I don’t eat Crumbl cookie anymore but I still regularly check in to their website ever Sunday night like “what are you crazy little fuckers up to this time”
February 3, 2025 at 6:36 AM
I don’t eat Crumbl cookie anymore but I still regularly check in to their website ever Sunday night like “what are you crazy little fuckers up to this time”
Another round of Fuck Yous to the idiot useless Jill Stein voters out there.
February 2, 2025 at 10:49 PM
Another round of Fuck Yous to the idiot useless Jill Stein voters out there.
No one is going to save us. Not any Republicans or Democrats. We might have to go through hell on earth and witness total destruction of the country. The only thing that will work is a mass scale revolt, but it will never happen because Americans are all about individualism.
February 1, 2025 at 5:53 AM
No one is going to save us. Not any Republicans or Democrats. We might have to go through hell on earth and witness total destruction of the country. The only thing that will work is a mass scale revolt, but it will never happen because Americans are all about individualism.
Since the election I’ve found a way to disconnect myself from the news, and I’ve felt great. I still catch snippets from what people post on Bluesky but that’s just enough to be familiar.
It only took TikTok being taken away, quitting NPR in the car, and cutting out NYT. It’s worth it.
It only took TikTok being taken away, quitting NPR in the car, and cutting out NYT. It’s worth it.
January 31, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Since the election I’ve found a way to disconnect myself from the news, and I’ve felt great. I still catch snippets from what people post on Bluesky but that’s just enough to be familiar.
It only took TikTok being taken away, quitting NPR in the car, and cutting out NYT. It’s worth it.
It only took TikTok being taken away, quitting NPR in the car, and cutting out NYT. It’s worth it.
Reposted
Good morning!
Is he dead yet?
Coffee? I’m pouring
Is he dead yet?
Coffee? I’m pouring
January 31, 2025 at 1:10 PM
Good morning!
Is he dead yet?
Coffee? I’m pouring
Is he dead yet?
Coffee? I’m pouring
Wegovy tip: don’t binge on junk when taking Wegovy. You WILL get sick. Super sick. I kind of respect that because it’s like teaching you a lesson. Or like wearing a zap collar that shocks you when you run out of bounds.
But wearing a CPAP and waking up to projectile vomit is not great. #wegovy
But wearing a CPAP and waking up to projectile vomit is not great. #wegovy
January 31, 2025 at 5:50 PM
Wegovy tip: don’t binge on junk when taking Wegovy. You WILL get sick. Super sick. I kind of respect that because it’s like teaching you a lesson. Or like wearing a zap collar that shocks you when you run out of bounds.
But wearing a CPAP and waking up to projectile vomit is not great. #wegovy
But wearing a CPAP and waking up to projectile vomit is not great. #wegovy
Everything is rotten garbage
But I got a haircut and color so w/e
But I got a haircut and color so w/e
January 30, 2025 at 2:33 AM
Everything is rotten garbage
But I got a haircut and color so w/e
But I got a haircut and color so w/e
Maybe you should go back to picking berries for a living, you fucking ghoul.
January 29, 2025 at 5:14 PM
Maybe you should go back to picking berries for a living, you fucking ghoul.
Wegovy Wednesday report: this is my 4th shot of Wegovy. I only lost 0.6 lbs this week which is not great but I’m not going to dwell. Just keep moving forward.
I’m getting a cut and color today and I just got the car of my dreams yesterday. I’m going to focus on that instead.
I’m getting a cut and color today and I just got the car of my dreams yesterday. I’m going to focus on that instead.
January 29, 2025 at 4:51 PM
Wegovy Wednesday report: this is my 4th shot of Wegovy. I only lost 0.6 lbs this week which is not great but I’m not going to dwell. Just keep moving forward.
I’m getting a cut and color today and I just got the car of my dreams yesterday. I’m going to focus on that instead.
I’m getting a cut and color today and I just got the car of my dreams yesterday. I’m going to focus on that instead.