Neal Bailey
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Neal Bailey
@nealbailey.com
Writer of so many novels and comics.

Buy my books!

https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0BFBVY5DP/allbooks

Get everything I do for $5!

https://www.patreon.com/nealbailey

Independent artists die without support.

Buy their work, not another coffee.
Pinned
If you were a member of my Patreon right now, you'd have early access to the newest Hal Taylor novel.

Members get all of my books (ten so far, plus eight graphic novels), and easy access, for a monthly pledge.

It's a coffee a month for you, life-changing for me. Thanks.

patreon.com/nealbailey
Get more from Neal Bailey on Patreon
creating comics, novels, short stories, and essays.
patreon.com
Reposted by Neal Bailey
Now reading.
November 22, 2025 at 9:49 PM
This week, you can get the first Hal book for a buck.

It's a great way to get into the series as book three nears release, as book four is being written.

Have a laugh and help an indie!

Be sure to leave a review or a star rating. It means more than you realize.

www.amazon.com/dp/B071FZK18Q
Muscle and Blood (The Hal Taylor Mysteries Book 1)
Muscle and Blood (The Hal Taylor Mysteries Book 1) - Kindle edition by Bailey, Neal. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading Muscle and Blood (The Hal Taylor Mysteries Book 1).
www.amazon.com
November 18, 2025 at 5:08 PM
"It's a big club, and you ain't in it."
November 10, 2025 at 5:50 PM
Rule of law and awesome snow.
November 8, 2025 at 10:07 PM
Pluribus is, of course, fucking astonishingly good.

If you like a long story where the premise is that strange technology gives everyone what they want instantly and changes the world, focussed on someone who doesn’t want it, I wrote a book like that three years ago:

www.amazon.com/Blue-Monday-...
Blue Monday
Blue Monday - Kindle edition by Bailey, Neal. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading Blue Monday.
www.amazon.com
November 8, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Canada:

We have rule of law.
November 8, 2025 at 5:42 PM
POSTSCRIPT:

Hal Taylor ate a soy sauce sandwich in Muscle and Blood.

Won’t catch me sandwalackin’
November 7, 2025 at 1:22 AM
November 7, 2025 at 1:15 AM
November 7, 2025 at 1:14 AM
The really odd thing is I’ve been thinking about it and I don’t know if I have ever put a sandwich in one of my novels.

I genuinely think that I haven’t.

Which is funny because one book featured a ten story dragon fighting a giant teddy bear and a scorpion with human eyes.

You had to be there.
November 7, 2025 at 1:13 AM
That’s right!

I don’t care!

I don’t give a single fuck any more.

I’ve fucking cracked.

Sandwiches.
November 7, 2025 at 1:08 AM
November 7, 2025 at 1:05 AM
November 7, 2025 at 1:04 AM
HEY KIDS IT’S FRED PENNER LOOK OUUUUUUUUT

youtu.be/D95_W105xsQ?...
Kids' CBC - Fred Penner - Sandwiches
YouTube video by CBC Kids
youtu.be
November 7, 2025 at 1:02 AM
Just be like

MORE SHIT

sandwich guy adds a little

MORE SHIT

sandwich guy adds more

MORE SHIT I NEED SANDWICH WITH SHIT FOR THEIR FACES.

“I don’t make enough to take harassment.”

I KNOW THAT’S WHY I WANT MORE SHIT. SHIT ON RANDFACE EQUALS AN INDEXED MINIMUM WAGE

sandwich guy adds more shit
November 7, 2025 at 12:58 AM
Put the entire GOP between two giant slices and make a sandwichapult to throw them into Galt’s Gulch.

God dammit I’m so sorry, it’s casting, you cast evildoers out. My verbs are weak.

I resign in disgrace.
November 7, 2025 at 12:54 AM
Put a goddamn rock in it, fuck it, there are no rules any more. Wear a mask. Sing a song. Add some ketchup. Why not?
November 7, 2025 at 12:53 AM
The best thing about it is that there’s no real size limitations to your creativity with Bailey’s Sandwich Plan for America.

You can fire one of those tiny gummy sandwiches out of a pellet gun, or you can shove a three foot hoagie right up Mitch’s ass if you can find a sandwich guy bold enough.
November 7, 2025 at 12:52 AM
When the riots burn the cities and the evil governor is trapped in his mansion I hope he wonders why the people revolted, and that the last thing that goes through his head (other than that sandwich) is OH, SNAP
November 7, 2025 at 12:49 AM
“Red, if you ever get out of here, I want you to find a tree that has no earthly place in a Maine hayfield.”

“What am I going to find?”

“You’ll just have to go there to find out.”

(Andy walks away, forlorn.)

"It’s gonna be another fucking sandwich joke.”
November 7, 2025 at 12:46 AM
“I want seven million dollars, blanket immunity, a helicopter, and unlimited sandwiches to throw at assholes.”

BULLHORN: YOU CAN HAVE ONE SANDWICH.

"I’M COMING OUT!"
November 7, 2025 at 12:44 AM
To all my friends who protest didn’t vote I am putting ghost pepper sauce on your face sandwich you proper shits.
November 7, 2025 at 12:42 AM
If I had to choose between the sheer joy of watching a sandwich hurler get off or Teslas burn it would be a hard choice but since they’re the only two good things that have happened in the 65 years since January you can stop asking me to only have one nice thing, okay?
November 7, 2025 at 12:41 AM
If some fascist comes at you with a sandwich, just eat the sandwich, thus disarming him.
November 7, 2025 at 12:39 AM