This is us in Sacramento with Kings GM Monte McNair back in the day

i like how they went over for bourbon but there’s no mention of food because they’re hungary

As a California Jew, I can say Mamdani makes New York seem more like a city for Jews like me rather than, say, Woody Allen.

This calls for the technical remote viewing wizardry of Major Ed Dames!

Did… did you put an index card into a typewriter to record your drink recipe?

This brilliant, even without any math.

Too much time following the NBA has rotted my brain and leads me to conclude that this is somehow referencing to Nikola Jokic, Luka Doncic and Kosta Koufos

Ok hold on, Sacramento was my second adopted town for 25 years

…I live in the mountains about an hour out now and really the only thing I miss is my friends and the restaurants, because our food up here sucks (90-something percent white county)

This reminds me of reading Dreams of My Father in like 2007 and going “wow, now this is a *real person* I can trust even if we don’t agree on everything.” And we didn’t! But that 2008 election was the most exciting of my life and I miss having THAT for a president. Sell me you. Do the math at home.

Also drink some water but not too much. You don’t want to have to get up too many times in the middle of the night.

Because Cuomo is Italian, according to Cuomo.

I, a newspaper editor, was just so happy to see “22-year-old” properly hyphenated twice that I almost cried just now

Proof that there are not Two Americas!

Seriously I wish I could write headlines like that

I feel like I want to subscribe twice especially after that latest headline

Andrew Cuomo is a bitch

You want the good shit, try Long Beach (America’s Coolest Airport) to Sacramento (California’s ok airport)

Here’s another solution:

I got a tiny marijuana leaf tattooed on my right bicep back in 2007

After getting the Dumbest Tattoo Ever, it pretty much killed any desire to get more

Now it stands as a smol testament to youthful indiscretion as I smoke 5% pussy pot once every couple weeks