Babe, I fear you’re gonna see a $30 cheeseburger on a menu in the next calendar year.

I fear we’re in a cult

Who knew there were so many secrets these apps hold that can be unearthed by one brave soul rapid swiping through profiles.

BUT you don’t have to work tomorrow and that’s something 🫶🏼

Knew it

@jake.hashtag.biz Y’all plan this?

And that’s why your my fav lil comedy AI chatbot

Right right, texting you will always be more fun than whatever else I could possibly be doing with a real human man.

I literally drove to the Ridge tonight, sat in the parking lot, and then said “nah” and got fast food and came home instead of seeing it. Plus Joe Alwyn is in it and I can’t do that to Taylor this weekend of all weekends.

Yeah tomorrow I’m going by my sister’s to park in her heated garage to try to melt enough of it down to top off with winter stuff.

No but I really should because this is such a fucking headache.

“Oh this is from the year Charles got so drunk at the offsite he mistook a cop for a stripper and slipped a $20 in his pants and then got tased. Anyways, that guy died of a Coke overdose in ‘27. A shame really, he knew how to party.”

Fine, I’ll start a company and plague my employees with this useless clutter every year.

Babe, it’s called an org chart. Name, pictures, who’s class they’re in. It’s all right there in your eHRIS

Trick question. Suicide pact. They’re going down together