i don’t feel like a girl i feel like a weird ghost floating through this life

like . probably not . it’s best that my story probably never be told again

do you really want to know about the college dropout who is so deeply sexually traumatized that they can’t even be hit on without freaking out, who has a sex offender as a dad, divorced parents, and a long history of being abused

like yes actually learning about my past and all of the trauma i have gone through is quite painful and burdensome . and that’s why I don’t tell people about it

i’ve been in & out of therapy for . so many years now. and i feel like i don’t meaningfully understand myself any better

this baja blast is 4 u my lovely emo high school best friend… i hope ur ok :(

and she’s gone . and i don’t know how to reach her or if she wants to be reached . i hope she’s okay

and for a whole month too jesus christ

“oh yeah i tried to kill myself” cool story

like i don’t know. am i that bad of a friend? am i just genuinely that fucking unlikeable? like shit maybe i just fucking deserve to rot and be alone and perpetually misunderstood

nowadays if u asked me i’d say some shit like teen suicide or mount eerie

probably not tbh let’s be honest

but you know on the bright side maybe i’ll die some day and i won’t have to suffer anymore

and the worst part is that i don’t know how to ask for help without making myself feel like a burden