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@myplaneparking.com
i am just barely holding it together i feel
June 26, 2025 at 12:31 AM
i am just barely holding it together i feel
i think it’s such a fucking lie when people tell me that i’m not a burden because i know i am and i can’t help it
May 8, 2025 at 4:49 AM
i think it’s such a fucking lie when people tell me that i’m not a burden because i know i am and i can’t help it
i think i’m so fucked up that even therapy can’t fix me high-key
May 8, 2025 at 4:38 AM
i think i’m so fucked up that even therapy can’t fix me high-key
i miss eva so bad i think she was one of the few people across my life who . understood
May 8, 2025 at 4:35 AM
i miss eva so bad i think she was one of the few people across my life who . understood
i think it’s genuinely so fucking awful that unpacking my trauma sent me spiraling into a deep manic / depressive episode. like fuuuck dude i can’t even begin to reprocess everything that’s happened to me without literally spiraling and wanting to kill myself again
May 8, 2025 at 4:34 AM
i think it’s genuinely so fucking awful that unpacking my trauma sent me spiraling into a deep manic / depressive episode. like fuuuck dude i can’t even begin to reprocess everything that’s happened to me without literally spiraling and wanting to kill myself again
wow so true old ellie
i feel so sad and so perpetually unseen and misunderstood. i hate the feeling of having to explain myself at every turn and it just makes me want to crawl back into my shell and die
May 8, 2025 at 4:24 AM
wow so true old ellie
it’s cute that i’ll spill my guts out . but i don’t think anyone actually even cares enough to read any of it
May 8, 2025 at 4:23 AM
it’s cute that i’ll spill my guts out . but i don’t think anyone actually even cares enough to read any of it
i feel like i’m pouring everything i have into other people and getting nothing back . and i’ve been doing so for so long . and i’m just told that i have to be okay with it
May 8, 2025 at 4:18 AM
i feel like i’m pouring everything i have into other people and getting nothing back . and i’ve been doing so for so long . and i’m just told that i have to be okay with it
it’s been 7 years since my last suicide attempt (3/28/2018) and yet i can’t stop thinking about it to this day
April 24, 2025 at 4:30 AM
it’s been 7 years since my last suicide attempt (3/28/2018) and yet i can’t stop thinking about it to this day
i remember one time in high school this girl asked me for the saddest song i knew of and i sent her “dawn chorus” by thom yorke lmfaooooooo
April 24, 2025 at 3:44 AM
i remember one time in high school this girl asked me for the saddest song i knew of and i sent her “dawn chorus” by thom yorke lmfaooooooo
i wonder if i showed people how much i truly suffer if they would care
April 24, 2025 at 2:54 AM
i wonder if i showed people how much i truly suffer if they would care
i feel so sad and so perpetually unseen and misunderstood. i hate the feeling of having to explain myself at every turn and it just makes me want to crawl back into my shell and die
April 24, 2025 at 1:22 AM
i feel so sad and so perpetually unseen and misunderstood. i hate the feeling of having to explain myself at every turn and it just makes me want to crawl back into my shell and die
wow, once again, my therapist was so right. dunking your head in a bath of ice water for 30s really does stop you from The OCD-Induced Horrors
April 23, 2025 at 6:19 AM
wow, once again, my therapist was so right. dunking your head in a bath of ice water for 30s really does stop you from The OCD-Induced Horrors
she bumped my lurasidone up to 80mg lfgggg brooosss we are sooo up right now
therapy in 3 minutes i gotta tell her about this shit
April 23, 2025 at 2:02 AM
she bumped my lurasidone up to 80mg lfgggg brooosss we are sooo up right now
telegram has now joined the other apps in the Forbidden Zone because i am checking it way too fucking often
i have found that putting my phone in greyscale mode & deleting all of the apps that i habitually check (bluesky, instagram, etc) has started fixing some of this but like... my brain is so fucking cooked i swear to god
April 23, 2025 at 12:56 AM
telegram has now joined the other apps in the Forbidden Zone because i am checking it way too fucking often
i should clarify.... i was feeling this type of way when i was thinking about pony and how much of cap hill feels like it caters specifically to gay men and not rly fem-presenting people
April 22, 2025 at 8:44 PM
i should clarify.... i was feeling this type of way when i was thinking about pony and how much of cap hill feels like it caters specifically to gay men and not rly fem-presenting people
one of the things that i'm still trying to grapple with is impulse control especially with my OCD. i find myself just instinctively checking apps over and over and over and checking my notifications incessantly and it's so fucking unhealthy and i hate it
April 22, 2025 at 8:36 PM
one of the things that i'm still trying to grapple with is impulse control especially with my OCD. i find myself just instinctively checking apps over and over and over and checking my notifications incessantly and it's so fucking unhealthy and i hate it
god Fucking Damn i was so wrong about my opinion on revengeseekerz… after letting this mature a bit, it’s some of the most fucking insane production we’ve ever seen from jane
April 22, 2025 at 2:38 AM
god Fucking Damn i was so wrong about my opinion on revengeseekerz… after letting this mature a bit, it’s some of the most fucking insane production we’ve ever seen from jane
went to the gym to do cardio anyways… went hard as FUCK on the bike
i want to go boulder today but i’m sore as fuck……. sigh
April 21, 2025 at 11:14 PM
went to the gym to do cardio anyways… went hard as FUCK on the bike
this world needs more happy hardcore remixes of Porter Robinson songs
April 21, 2025 at 8:43 PM
this world needs more happy hardcore remixes of Porter Robinson songs
it's so funny that my work trusts this 21 year old bitch (me) to do all of the technical talking to CTOs / VPs at fortune 100 companies lmfaooooo
April 21, 2025 at 6:45 PM
it's so funny that my work trusts this 21 year old bitch (me) to do all of the technical talking to CTOs / VPs at fortune 100 companies lmfaooooo
yippee they sold again!! let’s goooo
Today in the life of Ellie:
> circa December: buy 2 tickets to Jane Remover in Seattle before Revengeseekerz drops
> move to Seattle January
> circa now (April): hmmm… I want to go to jane remover… *buys 2 tickets to Jane Remover*
i now have 4 tickets to jane remover… 2 of which I don’t need 🤦
> circa December: buy 2 tickets to Jane Remover in Seattle before Revengeseekerz drops
> move to Seattle January
> circa now (April): hmmm… I want to go to jane remover… *buys 2 tickets to Jane Remover*
i now have 4 tickets to jane remover… 2 of which I don’t need 🤦
April 21, 2025 at 5:03 PM
yippee they sold again!! let’s goooo
i want to go boulder today but i’m sore as fuck……. sigh
April 21, 2025 at 4:51 PM
i want to go boulder today but i’m sore as fuck……. sigh
open.spotify.com/track/5dXMnf... that megalovania sample gave me whiplash
ナイト・オブ・ナイツ (かめりあ’s“ワンス・アポン・ア・ナイト”Remix)
COOL&CREATE · オールナイト・オブ・ナイツ ルナティック · Song · 2019
open.spotify.com
April 21, 2025 at 1:34 PM
open.spotify.com/track/5dXMnf... that megalovania sample gave me whiplash
i should journal my feelings tonight but to be real all of my joints are Aching from Heavy Lifting in the rain today so that is Not happening
April 21, 2025 at 5:09 AM
i should journal my feelings tonight but to be real all of my joints are Aching from Heavy Lifting in the rain today so that is Not happening