When I finally got the help I needed, I had to retrain myself to write: high, low, in the middle

Meds aren't a miracle cure

They don't take away who you are at your core

They open the door so you can see yourself more clearly

Let's be clear, there's nothing wrong with enjoying those natural highs
Or creating during those times

That's not what I'm trying to say

The problem starts when it becomes a crutch. When I can ONLY write during those highs

And then there's times, I'll actually strike gold. Every scene works. The dialog is snappy. A chapter I've been struggling with is a breeze.

That high feels so good I don't think I can write without.

It was and still is freeing and exciting

The best part is bringing stories to life

That isn't easy either but it's fun and a thrill and I want to keep doing that

Dyslexia makes it hard but like hell I'm gonna let that stop me

Unfortunately, since my dad was in the military, we moved away from that amazing teacher and the teachers I got after that could never hold a candle to what that woman achieved

But I never stopped writing

My earliest journals look like someone poured alphabet soup on the page

Glad you asked, Ranty Rae

It all changed in the 7th grade. Back then, I had a kindergarten level for reading and writing until my school hired a teacher who actually knew what the fuck she was doing. By the time 7th grade ended, she had my entire spiecal ed class spelling the 200 most common words

Because

I FUCKING LOVE IT!

If you couldn't tell by this ridiculous and completely pointless, and somewhat manic, rant, I simply love it!

I started writing when I was a kid who couldn't even spell the first 100 most common words in the English language

That's real specific, Rae, how would you?

Sometimes I write the end of my sentence first and the beginning of my sentence last
If I'm feeling really neruspicy I'll write part of the end in the middle, part of the beginning at the end, and the middle will show at the front
Real word salad right there

So if it's not easy, why do I write?

I fight for every damn word
I have a love/hate relationship with every spell check program in existence
I fucking HATE red on white
People look at me funny in the coffee shop with I use speech to text to spell the one word I finally got too frustrated with to spell because I actually stumped Google

And grammar they had no idea how lost I was on the otherside

The only thing I mastered by the end of my MFA was comma placement

Now, I write fanfics for fun and some readers have mistakenly believe that shit is easy for me

Just change this, no big deal... Big deal bucko

I got a MFA in Creative Writing because I took the teasing too personally and thought a Master's degree would prove something

It didn't! Being a Dyslexic writer in a MFA program was the worse! If my teachers thought they were confused with my sentence syntax

Oh! That word seems to have the right number of letters in the right order AND it matches the definition
Must be it!
30mins later you found the word! Only 10000 more words to write for class

It's a miracle I made it through collage... twice...

But you know it can't be those words because you at least KNOW the definition of the word you want to spell

So you search with the definition and end up with another list of words Where you spend another 5 or 6mins trying to remember what the word you wanted to spell LOOKED LIKE!

And if I tried to explain what Dyslexia was, I'd get hit with: Well, I can't spell either. So it can't be that bad!

Oh...OH! Not bad? Nonono...spelling for me starts with a word you think is the right one, then spend 15mins with Google telling you it doesn't exist but try these words

While you're resting, under that cover, the Well is refilling with all sorts of things.

When you are rested, the cover will be removed and you'll get to see all the cool things your brain saved for you,

Toss the bucket in and start drawing on those creative juices!

You can: consume content for inspiration, take breaks, journal, draw, visit friends

Whatever helps you fill the Well

And don't worry if your Well empties too quick. If you hit burnout, even though you were doing ALL THE THINGS

You're mind has decided you need rest and covered the Well

Everyone has a Well where they pull their creative juices from, the more you pull, the less juices you have to use

Everyones' bucket are a different size and you empty your Well at a different rate

When the Well is Empty you've hit burnout.

Now, you can pervent this. You can keep your Well full