Let's Go Pens!

"I was married but I'm not married anymore. Women don't like the vehicle."

I mean, come on. How cool is this?

If I'm Paul Skenes, I'm doing anything I can to get traded from this dumpster fire of a team. I'd go straight heel turn. Bad mouth the team, the owner, the city, the fans, etc. Whatever it takes to get sent to a team that cares even a fraction about the product they're putting on the field.

Nope

If only there was something that could have prevented all of this...

I'm not a doctor, but this may be why I can't breathe when I'm mowing the yard.

Yeah they need to just hire you now.

@jimlokay.com You were on The Daily Show again last night!

First live game in 4 years and it looks like I'll be able to head home REAL early.