I don't feel guilty about that. My brain is trying to protect me. It knows I was almost on those lists.
But it still hurts in its own way to not be a part of the vigils. For all of us, to all of us, who want to and cannot: we can remember our people whenever we remember.
It's not one out of 365.

I use TD Snap. I have previously used CoughDrop. It is a great pity that TD Snap has moved to a subscription-only model - I was fortunate to be able purchase a lifetime license before the switch.
(Paying at all for my voice I dislike ethically, of course, but needs must.)

By 'help to communicate' I mean things like reading out what somebody says with a letterboard.

I also mean things like 'translating' home sign.

Home sign means signs that people use to communicate, and that aren't a part of a formal sign language.

Some AAC users have people who help them communicate.

Some AAC users communicate on their own.

Some AAC users (like me) sometimes have help to communicate and sometimes communicate on their own.

Some AAC users have an intellectual disability.

Some AAC users do not have an intellectual disability.

Using AAC doesn't mean somebody has or doesn't have an intellectual disability.

Some AAC users (like me) want to participate in civil life. By 'participate in civil life' I mean doing things like voting, talking about politics, and attending protests.

I have used AAC in Parliament House. I have used AAC in other 'official' settings. This is my right.

AAC users need to talk about things they don't like. This is important for our safety (like saying when we are being hurt) and it is also a human right.

AAC users have the right to talk about politics.

Politics affects AAC users.

AAC users are sometimes in dangerous situations.

AAC users sometimes need to speak to law enforcement officials.

AAC users are not all white.

AAC users are not all children.

Some AAC users can't use big words.

Some AAC users can't ever use any spoken language.

This is okay as well.

People who can't use big words and people who can't use any spoken language have the same human rights to communication as everyone else.

This includes the right to freedom of expression.

Some AAC users (like me) can sometimes talk with their mouths in spoken language, and sometimes can't.

Some AAC users can always talk with their mouths in spoken language, but choose not to because speaking with their mouth hurts a lot, or is very tiring.

This is okay. Anyone can use AAC.

AAC users can talk about important things.

AAC users can talk about dangerous things.

AAC users can say things that not everybody agrees with.

AAC users have the same right to freedom of expression as everybody else.

By 'communicating without symbols,' I mean things like typing letters on a keyboard or with eyegaze.

I also mean things like talking with mouths in spoken languages and hands in signed languages.

Communicating with symbol AAC is not automatically "inferior" or "worse" than communicating without symbols.

Some AAC users (like me) can type on a non-symbol keyboard sometimes and not always.

AAC can be a print-out of pictures.

AAC can be a communication device. A communication device can be a specialized device like a TD I-16. It can also be a (much less expensive) "general" device like an iPad.

No, thanks. I walked away.

And this is why I learned to make it clear that talking about ableist language isn't about lists of no-no words. It's about pointing out how and why ableist language is part of ableism.

It's not about "this word hurts my feelings". It's "this language conveys ableist ideas and is harmful".