I usually appreciate that there are gluten free options for me at the grocery store, but absolutely nobody asked for this product.

Maria von Wedemeyer,
The girlfriend of one of the founders of Antifa:

Uhhh... are you okay, Costco?

Hey DHS... If you're doing the work of demons, we're going to liken you to demons. If you don't like it, maybe... stop?

I had a good idea today while walking into the DMV.

Official petition to replace George with Denzel on the quarter. Sign up here.