Tragically, there are curmudgeons with no sense of humor. There are also curmudgeons with a highly developed sense of humor. Both are overrepresented among Yiddish speakers, which is how you get the breakdown.

Who needs the badge in their handle when you can have it in the profile picture?

It’s called Cunningham’s Law.

I would tell you the official name of this phenomenon, but I don’t want to engage in it.

Which are all, notably, fiction.

What about the cracking when you open it for the first time?

Vent as much as you need. Weddings can be stressful. You’re doing great, and I’m sure the wedding will be lovely.

Interesting. That’s not as pervasive in pop culture as the tree and lights. I hope your holiday is meaningful. (And happy? Is it more happy or somber? And does the lead-up to Christmas have a different vibe than Christmas itself?)

“Hey, babe. You wanna get together, summon Joe the Demon, and ask him what’s on the other side of the Sambatyon?”

I know it’s not the point of the post, but this does somewhat confirm a cultural difference I’d heard about but haven’t directly experienced: Jews tend to make/eat way too much food at our parties; non-Jews eat less but tend to have more alcohol at their parties.