The Onion, but Modern
modernonion.bsky.social
The Onion, but Modern
@modernonion.bsky.social
Headlines from America's finest news source updated to match today's media sensibilities.
Catastrophe; Then, A Sounded Horn
Manslaughter Honked At
February 14, 2026 at 5:36 PM
She'd Found the Perfect Rock. Evaporation Had Other Plans.
Rock Looked Way Cooler Wet
February 13, 2026 at 10:37 PM