muscular baby jeb lund
LightNews LightNews
banner
mobute.bsky.social
muscular baby jeb lund
@mobute.bsky.social
73K followers 1.1K following 10K posts
Need a content writer? Seen in The Guardian, Rolling Stone, The Nation, NBC, TNR, TruthDig, Esquire, etc. Host the "It's Christmastown" Hallmark movies podcast with David Roth & "Quaid in Full" with Sarah Bunting. He/Him. Tampa.

https://linktr.ee/mobute
Posts Replies Media Videos
mobute.bsky.social
ran out of room
It's the Zohran Mamdani campaign sign generator (light-orange serifed capped letters with a redder orange shadow) above an italicized script font and then a sans-serifed font, reading, in order, "MORGAN & MORGAN & MORGAN & MORGAN & MORGAN & MORGAN & MORGAN & MORGAN & MORGAN & MORGAN & MORGAN & MORGAN & MORGAN & MORGAN & MORGAN & MORGAN & MORGAN & MORGAN & MORGAN & MORGAN & MORGAN & MORGAN & MORGAN & MORGAN & MORGAN & MORGAN & For The People"
November 9, 2025 at 5:46 PM
mobute.bsky.social
When the Trump exposes are written, I just hope I read an anonymous FBI veteran revealing that this weird wad is "a kind of reverse Dorf," where real-life Kash is standing on a crate at about belt height, and everything else—legs, chest, clothes, neck—all painted facade, like Patton's army on D-Day.
Kash Patel, at an empty gym, wearing a camouflage polo shirt and a baseball cap he ordered days in advance off Amazon to wear to fit in the first time he went to a Bass Pro Shop, standing up as hard as he can, like behind the camera there's a sign indicating a height requirement for an amusement park ride that he's not certain he's going to clear, mouth open in surprise and eyes wide, like he had to do a rail just to get his head straight about the FUCKING REALITY MAN of taking a fucking PICTURRRRE FOR THE FUCKING FBI MAN.
November 9, 2025 at 1:56 AM
mobute.bsky.social
it's like... [underlines point by using 28 year old cartoon]
November 8, 2025 at 11:45 PM
mobute.bsky.social
I like that I come back here, @biblewarrior69.bsky.social, and I have phantom mentions and you and I are both blocked by someone, and this is my only clue about who they are:
A screenshot of a notification now decoupled by this thread, for reasons explained in the text of the screenshot itself: Emily @biblewarrior69.bsky.social Replied to Leap Day William You didn't understand the show you watched and now you're embarrassed and arguing about it on the internet. Get good
November 5, 2025 at 8:17 PM
mobute.bsky.social
November 2, 2025 at 2:51 AM
mobute.bsky.social
Lavishly funding ever more elaborate legal defenses for his son to obstruct DNA tests because they'd confirm he raped and murdered his daughter-in-law, and his son finds out only after realizing dad was going to let him plead to 20-Life.
Terminal hardass Brian Kelly, seen here in his last college coaching gig at LSU.
October 30, 2025 at 4:28 AM
mobute.bsky.social
October 27, 2025 at 1:24 AM
mobute.bsky.social
once more
An image from back when Tony Romo was still a relatively young starting Cowboys quarterback, showing him in the white Jersey looking somewhat unhappily off to his left, as an ancient ESPN chyron reads: "DALLAS COWBOYS Aaaaaag."
October 26, 2025 at 11:06 PM
mobute.bsky.social
you fargin sneaky bastitch
this is
An adorable bald Jeopardy contestant with a glorious silvery beard, glasses and a big smile. Next to him is a chyron revealing his name: DARGAN WARE. Incredible. Cheers to Mr. and Mrs. Ware.
October 24, 2025 at 2:31 AM
mobute.bsky.social
Slightly off on my phrasing.
A screenshot from the April, 2009, Tea Party protest at The Alamo, from which Glenn Beck broadcast his show live on Fox News. We see a Wade Phillips-ass motherfucker in a #24 camo baseball cap in front of a bunch of signs and above a chyron reading, "Live From THE ALAMO," and "JOE HORN, SHOT 2 ILLEGALS BURGLARIZING HOME."
October 20, 2025 at 2:08 PM
mobute.bsky.social
Tampa's #NoKings was by far the biggest protest downtown this year. Lots of inflatable costumes. Lots of kids and intensely pissed-off grandmothers. Thrilled to see my favorite Gadsden Flag.
The backs of many people's heads at Tampa's No Kings protest, as they march from Tampa's Kennedy Blvd., up Franklin St. and on the way to hanging a left toward Curtis Hixson Park. In the distance, below left, someone's holding a handwritten sign, reading, "No Gods, No Masters." Before them, center, a woman is holding up a yellow Gadsden Flag. Except, instead of coiled serpent above the words "DON'T TREAD ON ME," it is, in fact, an enormous cartoon of a cat—more real than Garfield, but there's definitely a Garfield aesthetic, there, you can't deny it—anyway, it's a big-ass cat, mid-stride, mouth open in astonishment, above the words, "OHHHH LAWDDDD HE TREADIN."
October 18, 2025 at 11:06 PM
mobute.bsky.social
The law's our yardstick, and it measures well Or well enough when there are yards to measure. Measure a wave with it, measure a fire, Cut sorrow up in inches, weigh content. You can weigh John Brown's body well enough, But how and in what balance weigh John Brown? He had the shepherd's gift, but that was all. He had no other single gift for life. Some men are pasture Death turns back to pasture, Some are fire-opals on that iron wrist, Some the deep roots of wisdoms not yet born. John Brown was none of these, He was a stone, A stone eroded to a cutting edge By obstinacy, failure and cold prayers. Discredited farmer, dubiously involved In lawsuit after lawsuit, Shubel Morgan Fantastic bandit of the Kansas border, Red-handed murderer at Pottawattomie, Cloudy apostle, whooped along to death By those who do no violence themselves But only buy the guns to have it done, Sincere of course, as all fanatics are, And with a certain minor-prophet air, That fooled the world to thinking him half-great When all he did consistently was fail. So far one advocate. But there is this. Sometimes there comes a crack in Time itself. Sometimes the earth is torn by something blind. Sometimes an image that has stood so long It seems implanted as the polar star Is moved against an unfathomed force That suddenly will not have it any more. Call it the mores, call it God or Fate, Call it Mansoul or economic law, That force exists and moves. And when it moves It will employ a hard and actual stone To batter into bits an actual wall And change the actual scheme of things. John Brown Was such a stone--unreasoning as the stone, Destructive as the stone, and, if you like, Heroic and devoted as such a stone. He had no gift for life, no gift to bring Life but his body and a cutting edge, But he knew how to die.
October 17, 2025 at 12:41 PM
mobute.bsky.social
tfw you see your main dude and just know he's going to reignite the discourse about mank
Some stock photo of campus life, in front of a standard campus quad with a tree and a cathedral-inspired arched entryway. The black dude on the left is wearing a tight powder blue polo with a backpack slung over one shoulder and holding a blue wax paper cup like one gets in cafeterias everywhere definitely has a blue logo that is NOT pepsi. He's got receding hairline and seems closer to 30. His interlocutor is one of those over-airbrushed white guys who could plausibly be anywhere from 17 to 25. He's got short hair parted over, a slightly pointier Bob Hope style nose and pointed chin and sort of upswept smudges for smiling eyes. He's also got a one-shoulder-slung messenger bag, Beats By Dre-style headphones around his neck and an unbuttoned men's dress shirt, blues in a kind of sloppy tartan with thin and lighter-red highlights. In response to his buddy's proffered not-Pepsi cup, his white buddy is extending and open upturned palm, which, matching their laughter, suggest he's saying something fundamentally like, "I know, totally, right?" to acknowledge that they both recognize how funny it is when, say, people suggest the movie of the year for every year since Mank isn't still Mank.
October 17, 2025 at 1:14 AM
mobute.bsky.social
i reconquered the roman world in its honor
A screenshot of the Risk knockoff Lux Deluxe, which includes user-made historical maps and customizable victory screens. This one reads, "Jebbus Wins! 'Nice shirt. For a clown to wear. To the toilet store.'"
October 16, 2025 at 2:47 PM
mobute.bsky.social
christ, i can't believe we ordered from discourse pizza
it's a pizza box caricature of an italian chef with a fancy mustache and toque, making the a-ok gesture like he just kissed his fingers, like the Mattie Lubchansky "the discourse!" gif
October 16, 2025 at 11:56 AM
mobute.bsky.social
So, which of these announcements that you didn't read the thing you were commenting on do you want to delete?
A quote-tweet above and a reply below my post. Both are the same, both written by Peterkc1.bsky.social, reading: "Wrong. The minimum opening bid is justice for all." Meaning Peter couldn't even make it to the first sentence of the fourth graf, assuming he opened the thing in the first place.
October 13, 2025 at 12:25 PM
mobute.bsky.social
we go to the top of the 15th
October 11, 2025 at 4:54 AM
mobute.bsky.social
That's nothing. Remember Kristy Swanson's nephew Army?
A January 12, 2019 Tweet from the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer Kristy Swanson (@KristySwansonXO), replying to Kathy Griffin and Donald Trump: Replying to @kathygriffin and @realDonaldTrump We know about the tunnels @kathygriffin, my nephew ARMY was blown up by the cartel because of their tunnels, he died 3 times. We need a secure WALL, technology, boots, drones & more, we need it ALL. And one thing we really don't need is your idiotic input about the border...
October 6, 2025 at 12:38 AM
mobute.bsky.social
Thank you. As a token of appreciation, here is the corgi.
A corgi with its tongue stuck out, being scratched under the chin.
October 2, 2025 at 1:03 PM
mobute.bsky.social
It's a Google search box in which someone has written, all in lowercase, "dog eating zyrtec problem," followed by all the Google predictive-text suggestions, which are, in order: • dog eating zyrtec problem • dog keep eating zyrtec • dog diet need zyrtec • zyrtec suppressant • generic zyrtec • methadone but forzyrtec and dogs • zyrtec supply chain • complications from chronic hay fever • how to break into a warehouse
October 1, 2025 at 2:09 AM
mobute.bsky.social
"When you put your hand on a hot phone that used to be your best friend's menchies, you'll know what to do: crylaugh emoji."
Secretary of Defense and DUI hire Pete Hegseth lecturing a bunch of flag officers about how the military works like a busboy charting sales strategies for Olive Garden. The lessons are all the same up and down the ladder anyway. We roll silverware here just like we open new franchises: with Hospitaliano Ethos.
September 30, 2025 at 1:04 PM
mobute.bsky.social
A presidential library. Finally, a place where students at Miami Dade College can learn about the presidency. If they'd move the Library of Congress to Miami, students could learn about the legislature.
"Gov. Ron DeSantis and other top elected Republican state officials are poised to donate a prime property in downtown Miami to the nonprofit raising money for President Trump's presidential library. Some estimate that the property, facing Biscayne Bay, is worth hundreds of millions of dollars. It belonged to Miami Dade College until last week, when the college's trustees voted without any discussion to convey it to the state." Still, Mr. Alonso said, putting a presidential library on the site would be an "amazing opportunity." "It's a place to go and have dialogue," he said. "It's a place for our students to learn about the highest office."
September 30, 2025 at 11:57 AM
mobute.bsky.social
A
An ancient Fox News screen shot from 5:01 Mountain Time, on some forgotten day in which the crawl informs us "Hugo Chavez threatens to cut off oil sales to U.S.," beneath a chyron reading "GOOD DOG," and a picture of a dog next to a bunch of pet crates.
September 29, 2025 at 12:24 AM
mobute.bsky.social
An excerpt from the article found in the quoted post embedded in this one: Having a conversation with Donald Trump or America on anything other than Donald Trump is like trying to reason with Disney’s Hall of Presidents after pouring Big Gulps in the machines. You cannot plan with America, and you cannot compromise. You can’t even talk with it, because today and tomorrow and the next day it will only ever be having the same conversation: Whatever a sundowning and already world-historically stupid fascist said to evade accountability for whatever recent crime he was asked about, and then the only channel he watches replying by feeding his fantastical narcissism back to him and reassuring him that anyone denying the new reality is lying, crooked and a terrorist. There is no engaging with that degrading dialogue loop. There is no generational diplomacy, no network of shared burdens and incentives, no macroeconomic tomorrow. The facts on the ground now are like the results on the pop quiz in “The Simpsons” episode where Bart became an all-powerful telepath: They have been changed to accord with his answers on the test. There are no binding political charters or fundamental economic truths. Our country is now called “Bonerland,” and it was founded by “Some Guy.” You can comply with it or you can ignore it, and you guess which choice gained more ground with the U.N. audience as the speech wheezed toward its terminus.
September 26, 2025 at 7:49 PM
mobute.bsky.social
checking in with the director of the Where to Bury the Survivors Institute
A screenshot of a Washington Post Opinions post here on Bluesky. Above an article link featuring the headline, "Opinion | Five troubling themes that show where CDC vaccine policy is headed," and an embedded preview image showing someone giving a presentation on "COVID-19 immunization introduction," the Post has written, "'Medical societies and state health departments must step up as a countervailing force, defending established processes and upholding scientific judgment before more damage is done to public health,' Dr. Leana S. Wen writes." That image is paired with an image of a drunk Lenny from the Simpsons giving a thumbs up.
September 26, 2025 at 11:14 AM