Miranda Keeling
@mirandakeeling.com
Author. Actor. Observer of everyday life.
https://www.mirandakeeling.com
Buy my new book: https://geni.us/ThePlaceImin
Buy my first book: https://tinyurl.com/ycz2hc94
Listen to my podcast: https://StoppingToNotice.lnk.to/podcastho
https://www.mirandakeeling.com
Buy my new book: https://geni.us/ThePlaceImin
Buy my first book: https://tinyurl.com/ycz2hc94
Listen to my podcast: https://StoppingToNotice.lnk.to/podcastho
Pinned
Miranda Keeling
@mirandakeeling.com
· Aug 10
I wrote a book! And I promise you'll love it 🤩
Here's what Philip Pullman says about it: 'This book is lovely - Miranda's observations are as sharp as ever, and in a strange way they seem to sharpen my own.'
Buy your copy here: geni.us/ThePlaceImin ❤️
Here's what Philip Pullman says about it: 'This book is lovely - Miranda's observations are as sharp as ever, and in a strange way they seem to sharpen my own.'
Buy your copy here: geni.us/ThePlaceImin ❤️
My neighbour's teenager has a wonderful, wild garden party in the pouring rain. I sit inside and drink tea and eat toast and enjoy the sound of the raindrops on the roof.
November 13, 2025 at 8:31 PM
My neighbour's teenager has a wonderful, wild garden party in the pouring rain. I sit inside and drink tea and eat toast and enjoy the sound of the raindrops on the roof.
Woman in a bar: The restaurant sacked me today.
Man: Why?
Woman: I dropped a pizza. Face down. From a spiral staircase. Onto a bald man's head.
Man: Why?
Woman: I dropped a pizza. Face down. From a spiral staircase. Onto a bald man's head.
November 13, 2025 at 8:28 PM
Woman in a bar: The restaurant sacked me today.
Man: Why?
Woman: I dropped a pizza. Face down. From a spiral staircase. Onto a bald man's head.
Man: Why?
Woman: I dropped a pizza. Face down. From a spiral staircase. Onto a bald man's head.
Man on his mobile on the train: I don't mean to brag, but I've got a massive amount of space on my hard-drive.
November 13, 2025 at 8:18 PM
Man on his mobile on the train: I don't mean to brag, but I've got a massive amount of space on my hard-drive.
Little girl in a red coat on the bus: Mum?
Her mum: Yes?
Little Girl: I wish we could tell everyone in the world to be nice to each other.
Her mum: Yes?
Little Girl: I wish we could tell everyone in the world to be nice to each other.
November 13, 2025 at 8:18 PM
Little girl in a red coat on the bus: Mum?
Her mum: Yes?
Little Girl: I wish we could tell everyone in the world to be nice to each other.
Her mum: Yes?
Little Girl: I wish we could tell everyone in the world to be nice to each other.
A baby in her pram on the train rummages around for a long time in the depths of her pram seat. Finally, she finds a small piece of broken cracker and with a fabulous smile, she offers it to the man opposite her.
November 13, 2025 at 8:18 PM
A baby in her pram on the train rummages around for a long time in the depths of her pram seat. Finally, she finds a small piece of broken cracker and with a fabulous smile, she offers it to the man opposite her.
An elderly lady in a bright red coat and yellow shoes, cycles expertly through Dalston, her bicycle basket full to the brim with champagne.
November 13, 2025 at 8:16 PM
An elderly lady in a bright red coat and yellow shoes, cycles expertly through Dalston, her bicycle basket full to the brim with champagne.
What happens when you press 'send' on an email before proof-reading? In my case, responding with 'I've been neutered' instead of 'I'd be honoured.'
November 13, 2025 at 8:16 PM
What happens when you press 'send' on an email before proof-reading? In my case, responding with 'I've been neutered' instead of 'I'd be honoured.'
Man on the tube: I’m tired.
His wife: Oh we’re all tired, Brian.
His wife: Oh we’re all tired, Brian.
November 13, 2025 at 8:15 PM
Man on the tube: I’m tired.
His wife: Oh we’re all tired, Brian.
His wife: Oh we’re all tired, Brian.
Two strangers on the Tube wear long blue dresses with brown belts and red shoes and a dog nearby looks from them to me, as if for an explanation.
November 13, 2025 at 8:14 PM
Two strangers on the Tube wear long blue dresses with brown belts and red shoes and a dog nearby looks from them to me, as if for an explanation.
A man in a newsagent's appears so overwhelmed by the loveliness of the man serving him that he briefly forgets how to say the word 'crisps'.
November 13, 2025 at 8:14 PM
A man in a newsagent's appears so overwhelmed by the loveliness of the man serving him that he briefly forgets how to say the word 'crisps'.
In England, whenever you think 'What a lovely day, did I really need to bring my brolly with me?' The answer is 'Yes. Yes you did.'
November 13, 2025 at 8:13 PM
In England, whenever you think 'What a lovely day, did I really need to bring my brolly with me?' The answer is 'Yes. Yes you did.'
Woman in a shop: Do you sell pregnancy tests?
Till Girl: No. We sell baby food. Pause.
Till Girl: Do you want any?
Woman: I don't know, do I!
Till Girl: No. We sell baby food. Pause.
Till Girl: Do you want any?
Woman: I don't know, do I!
November 13, 2025 at 8:13 PM
Woman in a shop: Do you sell pregnancy tests?
Till Girl: No. We sell baby food. Pause.
Till Girl: Do you want any?
Woman: I don't know, do I!
Till Girl: No. We sell baby food. Pause.
Till Girl: Do you want any?
Woman: I don't know, do I!
A man bursts into hysterical laughter as his colleague sits down opposite him on the train, doesn’t realise the seat behind him is one of the folding ones in the up position, and lands dramatically onto the floor.
November 13, 2025 at 4:52 PM
A man bursts into hysterical laughter as his colleague sits down opposite him on the train, doesn’t realise the seat behind him is one of the folding ones in the up position, and lands dramatically onto the floor.
Across the foot of a woman on the train are two slightly curved, tattooed lines, as though a large cockroach squats inside her sock, antennae waving.
November 13, 2025 at 4:51 PM
Across the foot of a woman on the train are two slightly curved, tattooed lines, as though a large cockroach squats inside her sock, antennae waving.
For a moment I think a man on the Tube has strange fingers on one hand and then I realise they are not his fingers, he is holding a folded up banana skin.
November 13, 2025 at 4:48 PM
For a moment I think a man on the Tube has strange fingers on one hand and then I realise they are not his fingers, he is holding a folded up banana skin.
Reposted by Miranda Keeling
Solvitur ambulando is my favourite Latin phrase. It means "it is solved by walking".
November 13, 2025 at 2:33 PM
Solvitur ambulando is my favourite Latin phrase. It means "it is solved by walking".
I walk past a man in a jumper that says, ‘Be the person your dog thinks you are’ and I want this jumper so much.
November 13, 2025 at 1:39 PM
I walk past a man in a jumper that says, ‘Be the person your dog thinks you are’ and I want this jumper so much.
A pigeon walks across the pavement, head bobbing forward. A man arranges items for sale outside an antique shop. An old plastic bag hangs from a tree like an exhausted ghost.
November 13, 2025 at 10:06 AM
A pigeon walks across the pavement, head bobbing forward. A man arranges items for sale outside an antique shop. An old plastic bag hangs from a tree like an exhausted ghost.
Yay! Thank you @400footghost.bsky.social for this wonderful illustration of my post! bsky.app/profile/mira...
November 12, 2025 at 7:05 PM
Yay! Thank you @400footghost.bsky.social for this wonderful illustration of my post! bsky.app/profile/mira...
Mum walking home from pick-up: What did you learn at school today love?
Little girl: How to do this: (blows a raspberry).
Little girl: How to do this: (blows a raspberry).
November 12, 2025 at 4:10 PM
Mum walking home from pick-up: What did you learn at school today love?
Little girl: How to do this: (blows a raspberry).
Little girl: How to do this: (blows a raspberry).
Wednesday’s sunset gifts sugared-almond colours to the sky.
November 12, 2025 at 4:04 PM
Wednesday’s sunset gifts sugared-almond colours to the sky.
A woman’s puppy runs over to her Nanna, jumps up and licks her face.
Woman: I’m sorry Nanna!
Her Nanna: Don’t worry sweetheart. I wish I had this effect on men.
Woman: I’m sorry Nanna!
Her Nanna: Don’t worry sweetheart. I wish I had this effect on men.
November 12, 2025 at 4:02 PM
A woman’s puppy runs over to her Nanna, jumps up and licks her face.
Woman: I’m sorry Nanna!
Her Nanna: Don’t worry sweetheart. I wish I had this effect on men.
Woman: I’m sorry Nanna!
Her Nanna: Don’t worry sweetheart. I wish I had this effect on men.
Reposted by Miranda Keeling
Spider web in the bird watching hut.
November 11, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Spider web in the bird watching hut.
My 7-year-old: I don’t understand you, Mummy.
Me: Oh?
Her: You’re a grown-up. If you want to get an ice-cream every day, you can. And you don’t.
Me: Oh?
Her: You’re a grown-up. If you want to get an ice-cream every day, you can. And you don’t.
November 11, 2025 at 8:59 PM
My 7-year-old: I don’t understand you, Mummy.
Me: Oh?
Her: You’re a grown-up. If you want to get an ice-cream every day, you can. And you don’t.
Me: Oh?
Her: You’re a grown-up. If you want to get an ice-cream every day, you can. And you don’t.
The neon sign above the chip-shop beckons through the damp dark of Tuesday.
November 11, 2025 at 8:57 PM
The neon sign above the chip-shop beckons through the damp dark of Tuesday.