sometimes in my mind palace this guy manifests as wolfgang instead of hershel. and sometimes it’s a combination of the two. my voice of reason who kins two different characters who are both a well meaning gentleman wifeguy that is unfortunately a massive hypocrite

within a literal second of posting this a blank nsfw acc liked it. fuck off pornbot

you’re going to eat chicken tenders for lunch and you’re gonna like it you mopey son of a bitch

i started keeping a diary on my computer of every day i did it. i don’t remember exactly what i wrote in it but it was very much fueled by self loathing. i ended up deleting the whole thing as soon as the people around me started to care too much

back in august 2023 there was a week where i’d refused to eat anything and i ended up losing like ten pounds so i know it’s possible to go back

it's kind of taken me til recently to realize how strange it was for me to put that much effort into a (sort of) fake online presence

ironically, i drew myself wearing a mask. a mask on top of a mask i already made for myself. it's not the first time i've constructed a persona because i wanted others to see me a certain way.

come to think of i this was around the time i was starting to realize how scary of a situation i was in.

for this entirely hypothetical scenario i constructed an entire blog separate from my pre existing internet presence with a fabricated/idealized version of myself at the time. i hid my name, and used "any" pronouns instead of he/him. i even created an alternate version of comet named pluto.