My head hurts and i shouldn't be here.
I think i have issues with physiological self harm

Its all so messy in my head. I dummy think I'll ever get to fully process things. Whatever? I guess? I dont fucking know what I'm doing. Where I'm trying to go. I've no plans. dwindling opportunities and resources.
I'm so sick of waiting. But i took my own steps forward and still got annihilated

I can't say if things are better or not. Its weird. Finally have someone in person in real physical closeness. And of course there's limits. Which is fine i just.. ugh.
Time myself broken and scared but at the same time wanting and being needy with selfish thoughts. Idk where i stand with anyone

Literally zero point in tryna use the services and apparent aids that are supposed to be provided. Why give someone 93 pages of your mental health history, why try work it out and make it easy to be torn apart and broken down when they can just go LOL YOURE FUCKED AND WE DONT CAAAAAAAAARE GL HF

offically diagnose you because LOL fuck yourself?

i hate it here, i hate breathing. Whats the point in tryna better myself.
Im past my fuckign expiery date and i wanna break things and frankly off myself. Ive tried so hard to get anywhere with this shit and noone fucking care Noone hyelps. its bs

worhtless. waste of time. pointless waste of life this shit is.
herea i thought id try be better this year and get healthly and understand my problems so i could work them out but they wont even offer me services or someone to talk to its just done, finished, end of, youre autistic but we cant

because of "not enough evidence in your history as a child"

Fuck you mean
im 28
im autistic now. im suffering now. i need help. NOW.

I cant fucking remember anything about my childhood. because of the TRUAMA youre telling that i have.
Fucking what
Why do i need to remember being 4 years old for it