I am surprised how time after time instead of a carrot they offer a stick. Continuous penalties instead of making the not-camping/tunneling/etc more fun and viable just don't work. it's like, the company doesn't understand game heuristics at all? 😭

Wow I'm always jealous when someone is able to do pretty notes. Mine always looks like i was taken over by lovecraftian madness because my handwriting and drawing be wonkyy

Open source is the only cool tech pass it on.

My school has given me a permission for 10 hours of remedial teaching per YEAR. That I'm already scared of asking because of my past.

But it also makes me hate my brain even more because why can't I learn like a normal person. Sometimes I feel like I'm missing a cog everyone else has.
And I know ai is so fucking bad for the environment and people. Boy am I aware of it. I hate this. so. much.

It's the only thing that doesn't sigh passively aggressively or straight up give up, after a long explanation, when I go "I still don't get why X works like this". It doesn't make me cry because I feel too stupid.

I'm just trying to survive, to be able to learn. To be able to get a job someday. I never use it to do any work for me. Just to explain why something works like it does, like I use it to dissect the thing till the ground until i finally get it.

But yeah, idk of anyone cares or if posting this looks bad. I just needed to get this out of my chest. (among with lot of other things lol)

To find anything good out of my time on game studies: I understand OOP and UX heuristics pretty well now. I'm sure i picked up some info that will help me with full stack stuff. I appreciate games differently nowadays and maybe want to create some as a hobby in the future.