Mil Millington
@milmillington.bsky.social
Chap.
If you wanted to buy any of my novels from some sort of book-selling place, then, OK, I wouldn't try to stop you. But I'm not going to give you links to them. It would be unseemly.
If you wanted to buy any of my novels from some sort of book-selling place, then, OK, I wouldn't try to stop you. But I'm not going to give you links to them. It would be unseemly.
Most of my earphones beep to confirm Bluetooth. But my running earphones have this slightly creepy confirmation; like there's a somewhat sinister, 'And we both know what *that* means...' subtext.
I rather approve of this sort of thing. Trains and lifts should use Vincent Price and The Hooded Claw.
I rather approve of this sort of thing. Trains and lifts should use Vincent Price and The Hooded Claw.
November 9, 2025 at 11:30 AM
Most of my earphones beep to confirm Bluetooth. But my running earphones have this slightly creepy confirmation; like there's a somewhat sinister, 'And we both know what *that* means...' subtext.
I rather approve of this sort of thing. Trains and lifts should use Vincent Price and The Hooded Claw.
I rather approve of this sort of thing. Trains and lifts should use Vincent Price and The Hooded Claw.
Watch, if you can bear it (it isn't the whole process: that would be actionably traumatic). I copied files from an old DVD today. Things might move 'too fast' nowadays, but I could not go back to when things were this *excruciating slow* - watching the progress bar you can feel the universe cooling.
November 5, 2025 at 11:30 AM
Watch, if you can bear it (it isn't the whole process: that would be actionably traumatic). I copied files from an old DVD today. Things might move 'too fast' nowadays, but I could not go back to when things were this *excruciating slow* - watching the progress bar you can feel the universe cooling.
If, when you see this shop, your brain doesn't immediately spooner it into 'Kock Ring', then you're a better person than I am. I hope that makes you happy.
November 3, 2025 at 11:45 AM
If, when you see this shop, your brain doesn't immediately spooner it into 'Kock Ring', then you're a better person than I am. I hope that makes you happy.
I acknowledge that, had we not taken a photograph of us by the famous yard, Whitby itself would have found it unacceptable.
November 2, 2025 at 11:30 AM
I acknowledge that, had we not taken a photograph of us by the famous yard, Whitby itself would have found it unacceptable.
Festival Top Tip Number 2.
If you'd like (and who wouldn't?) the mad woman standing by the Abbey in the sweeping night rain at the Whitby Goth Festival to end up back in your room later... then always have that mad woman in the car with you when you drove up that morning.
If you'd like (and who wouldn't?) the mad woman standing by the Abbey in the sweeping night rain at the Whitby Goth Festival to end up back in your room later... then always have that mad woman in the car with you when you drove up that morning.
November 1, 2025 at 11:15 AM
Festival Top Tip Number 2.
If you'd like (and who wouldn't?) the mad woman standing by the Abbey in the sweeping night rain at the Whitby Goth Festival to end up back in your room later... then always have that mad woman in the car with you when you drove up that morning.
If you'd like (and who wouldn't?) the mad woman standing by the Abbey in the sweeping night rain at the Whitby Goth Festival to end up back in your room later... then always have that mad woman in the car with you when you drove up that morning.
The AC adaptor on my laptop broke. No power. So, I decided to take a few days being completely computer-free until I get a replacement.
No. Obviously I didn't. Until I get a replacement, I'll carry on using it; having got it working again using a kitchen knife, a hammer, and green electrical tape.
No. Obviously I didn't. Until I get a replacement, I'll carry on using it; having got it working again using a kitchen knife, a hammer, and green electrical tape.
October 29, 2025 at 11:30 AM
The AC adaptor on my laptop broke. No power. So, I decided to take a few days being completely computer-free until I get a replacement.
No. Obviously I didn't. Until I get a replacement, I'll carry on using it; having got it working again using a kitchen knife, a hammer, and green electrical tape.
No. Obviously I didn't. Until I get a replacement, I'll carry on using it; having got it working again using a kitchen knife, a hammer, and green electrical tape.
I did a pen! That's right: "!" It didn't break, clog, dry up, or have some fatal issue with the tiny ball at the tip. I didn't lose it or abandon it in a drawer for my great-grandchildren to inherit or leave it in the thigh of a midnight assailant. I started it on 24/04/21, and finished it today. !
October 27, 2025 at 11:30 AM
I did a pen! That's right: "!" It didn't break, clog, dry up, or have some fatal issue with the tiny ball at the tip. I didn't lose it or abandon it in a drawer for my great-grandchildren to inherit or leave it in the thigh of a midnight assailant. I started it on 24/04/21, and finished it today. !
Signs of World
"Beware! Rogue quadrilaterals may strike you from behind in the calf with upending force while you are distracted, bewildered, and alarmed by the impossibility of Welsh spelling."
"Beware! Rogue quadrilaterals may strike you from behind in the calf with upending force while you are distracted, bewildered, and alarmed by the impossibility of Welsh spelling."
October 21, 2025 at 10:30 AM
Signs of World
"Beware! Rogue quadrilaterals may strike you from behind in the calf with upending force while you are distracted, bewildered, and alarmed by the impossibility of Welsh spelling."
"Beware! Rogue quadrilaterals may strike you from behind in the calf with upending force while you are distracted, bewildered, and alarmed by the impossibility of Welsh spelling."
What's worse than discovering you may be the person you secretly fear you might be?
Discovering you may be the person your girlfriend says you are.
Under any piece of furniture: 'Oh, I'd forgotten I dumped that old laptop there.' OK. But to find a *desktop PC* you'd completely forgotten about? Ouch.
Discovering you may be the person your girlfriend says you are.
Under any piece of furniture: 'Oh, I'd forgotten I dumped that old laptop there.' OK. But to find a *desktop PC* you'd completely forgotten about? Ouch.
October 20, 2025 at 10:45 AM
What's worse than discovering you may be the person you secretly fear you might be?
Discovering you may be the person your girlfriend says you are.
Under any piece of furniture: 'Oh, I'd forgotten I dumped that old laptop there.' OK. But to find a *desktop PC* you'd completely forgotten about? Ouch.
Discovering you may be the person your girlfriend says you are.
Under any piece of furniture: 'Oh, I'd forgotten I dumped that old laptop there.' OK. But to find a *desktop PC* you'd completely forgotten about? Ouch.
If anyone says you can't possibly play Sons of the Forest for fourteen hours a day, you show that person the door. (*You'll* have to do that, of course, as I'm otherwise occupied.)
October 18, 2025 at 10:45 AM
If anyone says you can't possibly play Sons of the Forest for fourteen hours a day, you show that person the door. (*You'll* have to do that, of course, as I'm otherwise occupied.)
Clever. The Five Guys restaurant¹ warped the table legs, so that you can have a really authentic-feeling 'Eating While Sailing On Roughs Seas' experience.
(¹'Restaurant'. Arf. Not a place I'd choose to go but, "Did I see you coming into Five Guys in Birmingham last night?" *is* *always* hilarious.)
(¹'Restaurant'. Arf. Not a place I'd choose to go but, "Did I see you coming into Five Guys in Birmingham last night?" *is* *always* hilarious.)
October 15, 2025 at 10:30 AM
Clever. The Five Guys restaurant¹ warped the table legs, so that you can have a really authentic-feeling 'Eating While Sailing On Roughs Seas' experience.
(¹'Restaurant'. Arf. Not a place I'd choose to go but, "Did I see you coming into Five Guys in Birmingham last night?" *is* *always* hilarious.)
(¹'Restaurant'. Arf. Not a place I'd choose to go but, "Did I see you coming into Five Guys in Birmingham last night?" *is* *always* hilarious.)
A wall on an outbuilding, near the lake where my girlfriend often swims. But what are those uncountable white dots all over it? Closer inspection reveals either a) the wonders of nature or b) the image in your mind immediately before you wake up screaming tonight.
October 14, 2025 at 10:37 AM
A wall on an outbuilding, near the lake where my girlfriend often swims. But what are those uncountable white dots all over it? Closer inspection reveals either a) the wonders of nature or b) the image in your mind immediately before you wake up screaming tonight.
Con: I have a cold.
Pro: It's gone to my throat, and brought *so* much sexiness along for the ride. Seriously, right now, in a pitch black room, I'd be damn near irresistible, right?
Right?
Yeah... you know I'm right.
Pro: It's gone to my throat, and brought *so* much sexiness along for the ride. Seriously, right now, in a pitch black room, I'd be damn near irresistible, right?
Right?
Yeah... you know I'm right.
October 13, 2025 at 10:15 AM
Con: I have a cold.
Pro: It's gone to my throat, and brought *so* much sexiness along for the ride. Seriously, right now, in a pitch black room, I'd be damn near irresistible, right?
Right?
Yeah... you know I'm right.
Pro: It's gone to my throat, and brought *so* much sexiness along for the ride. Seriously, right now, in a pitch black room, I'd be damn near irresistible, right?
Right?
Yeah... you know I'm right.
If there's a wastebasket within 1 to 22 feet, and you have a wastebasketable item in hand, it's psychologically impossible not to attempt to basket it with a deft throw (like in the schoolgirl game of netball). But I just realised that I also - with a lidded bin - *have* to bin the item one-handed.
October 12, 2025 at 10:45 AM
If there's a wastebasket within 1 to 22 feet, and you have a wastebasketable item in hand, it's psychologically impossible not to attempt to basket it with a deft throw (like in the schoolgirl game of netball). But I just realised that I also - with a lidded bin - *have* to bin the item one-handed.
British? Of a certain age? Slightly given to melancholy?
Second Born sent me this photo from Kiel, Germany.
(I'm guessing the barriers are to stop passing English tourists from stealing the Pick 'n' Mix.)
Second Born sent me this photo from Kiel, Germany.
(I'm guessing the barriers are to stop passing English tourists from stealing the Pick 'n' Mix.)
October 10, 2025 at 10:28 AM
British? Of a certain age? Slightly given to melancholy?
Second Born sent me this photo from Kiel, Germany.
(I'm guessing the barriers are to stop passing English tourists from stealing the Pick 'n' Mix.)
Second Born sent me this photo from Kiel, Germany.
(I'm guessing the barriers are to stop passing English tourists from stealing the Pick 'n' Mix.)
Went to watch the forever-groovy Sleeper at the Wulfrun. Ace. My girlfriend esp. enjoyed it as: 1) She has what it would be mendacious not to call 'a thing' for Andy; 2) She repeatedly got to do her version of dancing; 3) She noted, beaming with joy, "It's great to see men queuing for the toilet."
October 5, 2025 at 10:30 AM
Went to watch the forever-groovy Sleeper at the Wulfrun. Ace. My girlfriend esp. enjoyed it as: 1) She has what it would be mendacious not to call 'a thing' for Andy; 2) She repeatedly got to do her version of dancing; 3) She noted, beaming with joy, "It's great to see men queuing for the toilet."
Baffled me.
But then, considering the shop is in Wolverhampton - and the particular area of Wolverhampton to boot - I suppose it meant 'Police Statement Rugs'.
But then, considering the shop is in Wolverhampton - and the particular area of Wolverhampton to boot - I suppose it meant 'Police Statement Rugs'.
October 4, 2025 at 10:45 AM
Baffled me.
But then, considering the shop is in Wolverhampton - and the particular area of Wolverhampton to boot - I suppose it meant 'Police Statement Rugs'.
But then, considering the shop is in Wolverhampton - and the particular area of Wolverhampton to boot - I suppose it meant 'Police Statement Rugs'.
Went to the Pattingham Scarecrow Festival. (I'm the one on the right.) (Your right.) The plastic bottle was labelled 'Bleach. Covid 19 Vaccination'.
September 29, 2025 at 10:30 AM
Went to the Pattingham Scarecrow Festival. (I'm the one on the right.) (Your right.) The plastic bottle was labelled 'Bleach. Covid 19 Vaccination'.
At last - the perfect compromise between contact lenses and glasses.
I'm looking for investors.
I'm looking for investors.
September 26, 2025 at 10:45 AM
At last - the perfect compromise between contact lenses and glasses.
I'm looking for investors.
I'm looking for investors.
Why I love my girlfriend: Reason 3,591. I was reminded of it by this shop - run by an old Japanese couple who know very little English. My gf went in once, to see if they had some soap. She says, loud and slow, "I'm looking for--" and then starts rubbing her hands all over her body. Oh: their faces.
September 22, 2025 at 10:31 AM
Why I love my girlfriend: Reason 3,591. I was reminded of it by this shop - run by an old Japanese couple who know very little English. My gf went in once, to see if they had some soap. She says, loud and slow, "I'm looking for--" and then starts rubbing her hands all over her body. Oh: their faces.
The cup and saucer, with a little jar of milk, as given to me in the cafe today. Erm...
Errr...
Aaarr..
OK - I've got to say it.
Is it me, or is something about this just *kind of* vagina-y?
Errr...
Aaarr..
OK - I've got to say it.
Is it me, or is something about this just *kind of* vagina-y?
September 21, 2025 at 10:20 AM
The cup and saucer, with a little jar of milk, as given to me in the cafe today. Erm...
Errr...
Aaarr..
OK - I've got to say it.
Is it me, or is something about this just *kind of* vagina-y?
Errr...
Aaarr..
OK - I've got to say it.
Is it me, or is something about this just *kind of* vagina-y?
Rare photo of the statue of Hogarth on Chiswick High Road taken before the sculptor removed the snare drum.
September 20, 2025 at 10:25 AM
Rare photo of the statue of Hogarth on Chiswick High Road taken before the sculptor removed the snare drum.
Encountered biking along the canal. (I was biking, that is; it was not riding a bike. Not yet, at least.) Perspective deceives here; this thing was actually over three times the size of my head.
Anyway, just thought I'd take a snap showing decay, and the rapidly sprawling things that feed on it. Hm.
Anyway, just thought I'd take a snap showing decay, and the rapidly sprawling things that feed on it. Hm.
September 19, 2025 at 10:30 AM
Encountered biking along the canal. (I was biking, that is; it was not riding a bike. Not yet, at least.) Perspective deceives here; this thing was actually over three times the size of my head.
Anyway, just thought I'd take a snap showing decay, and the rapidly sprawling things that feed on it. Hm.
Anyway, just thought I'd take a snap showing decay, and the rapidly sprawling things that feed on it. Hm.
The train route to and from London used to be 'Intercity Mainline'. Now, with LNR&WNR, it's 'What the hell?' OK, places like Wolverton and Hampton-in-Arden are whispered of in ancient folks tales. But others... come on: they're made up. Canley? Tile Hill? Berkswell? Long Buckby? Really? LONG BUCKBY?
September 9, 2025 at 10:45 AM
The train route to and from London used to be 'Intercity Mainline'. Now, with LNR&WNR, it's 'What the hell?' OK, places like Wolverton and Hampton-in-Arden are whispered of in ancient folks tales. But others... come on: they're made up. Canley? Tile Hill? Berkswell? Long Buckby? Really? LONG BUCKBY?
It's pushing midnight and you're walking back after a splendid evening of loudly criticising the Trump administration in numerous wine-serving settings all the way from Monument to the Tottenham Court Road. What could be more perfect? Sweet Christ - the kebab shop is still open! Hello, More Perfect.
September 8, 2025 at 10:30 AM
It's pushing midnight and you're walking back after a splendid evening of loudly criticising the Trump administration in numerous wine-serving settings all the way from Monument to the Tottenham Court Road. What could be more perfect? Sweet Christ - the kebab shop is still open! Hello, More Perfect.