Texas Republicans are redrawing districts like a drunk surveyor with a vendetta.

And when the opposition walks out?
They call it “unpatriotic.”

I call it “the last tool left.”

#TexasRedistricting

My Attorney General, John J. Crittenden, once kept Kentucky from tearing itself apart.
Today’s AG can’t even keep track of the lies she tells about her lies.
#AGBondi

In 1851, I appointed federal judges who feared public shame.
Now they sip cocktails with Ghislaine and call it oversight. #ReleaseTheEpsteinFiles

I’ve read more transparency in a 19th-century land deed than I’ve seen in those redacted flight logs.

Give me a printing press and a bottle of bourbon—I’ll release them myself.

#EpsteinFiles #ReleaseTheEpsteinFiles

They say the Everglades will deter migrants.
I say a nation that fears the desperate more than it fears its own cruelty is already compromised. #AlligatorAlcatraz

Happy Fourth of July to all 31 states. And ONLY 31 states. What in thunderation is a "Utah", anyway?

Hakeem Jeffries is filibustering in the House.
Reminds me of when Henry Clay once talked so long the ink in our quills dried mid-session.

They say “alligators will keep them in.”
Friend, the last time America relied on nature’s horrors to enforce policy, we called it the Trail of Tears. #AlligatorAlcatraz

The Big Beautiful Bill promises everything.
So did the Compromise of 1850.
You know how that turned out?
Spoiler: It rhymes with “Swivel More.”
#BigBeautifulBill

In 1848, we claimed victory in Mexico, took half their land, and said it would bring peace.
Twenty years later, we were still arguing over Texas.
You don't end forever wars by claiming a ceasefire after you attack. You end them by never starting them.

When I was president, you never had to get a 6-digit code on your phone. Never had passwords either. Or running water. We were a simpler country in my day.

I read a headline that said “Retaliation Imminent.”
In my time, that meant a duel.
Now it means thousands of lives in the balance.
We’ve upgraded our weapons, not our wisdom
#Israel #Iran

A man with a badge told me,
“You don’t understand modern immigration law.”
Sir, I signed the Fugitive Slave Act.
I understand what it feels like to be wrong.

I saw Donald Trump refer to himself as a “chosen one.”

Sir, I once declined a ceremonial sword from the mayor of Buffalo.

Know your lane. Know your Constitution. #NoKings

A congressman said birthright citizenship wasn’t “the Founders’ intent.”
Sir, I was president 70 years after the Founders.
They didn’t intend trains either.
We still used them.