[First date]

HER: If you had a time machine, where would you go?

ME (knowing full well that I would travel back to 2014 to bid on the haunting Baby Grinch doll from the 2000 Jim Carrey movie at a Turner Classic Movies auction in New York City): Ancient Rome, probably.

Dismayed to learn Pope Francis is on Bluesky.

Was planning to declare myself Pope over here and set up my own Avignon.

Matt Gaetz has withdrawn from consideration for Attorney General to spend more time with children.

What are you missing on Twitter, you ask?

I wonder if he’s any relation to this Tommy Tuberville.

Now that Inside the NBA will fall under the Disney umbrella, I only ask for one thing.

DONALD TRUMP: I am please to nominate RFK Jr. to head the Department of Health and Human Services.

LONG ERADICATED PREVENTABLE ILLNESSES:

JERRY SEINFELD: Just follow her on Bluesky.

GEORGE COSTANZA: Her handle’s invalid.

JERRY SEINFELD: She’s got an invalid handle?

GEORGE COSTANZA (slamming table): Invalid handle, Jerry.

Before and after I fill my body with The Onion supplements and brain pills.

People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive is once again former Chicago White Sox catcher Ron Karkovice.

The Department of Government Effiency

Things are bumping over on Mastodon.

Bluesky: Twitter:

Posting on Bluesky about how bad things are on Twitter.

Finding Twitter mutuals over here.