I'm a Phillies fan... In 1993 my dad was painting the living room and I got to "help" by sleeping on the couch and watching the game. He worked all night and woke me up to see the absurdly rain-delayed DH that ended around 4:40 in the morning.

Bad: being old and falling asleep in the 7th.

Good: being old, so I have to wake up to pee at 1 a.m. and got 7 more innings of baseball.

I had a college roommate who once tried to spit fire with everclear. He also had a faulty lighter and held it in his mouth long enough that his tongue went numb for about a day... He's currently a bariatric surgeon.

I refuse to believe Clay would ever devise a play where multiple guys have to run left.

I envision a world where this power couple takes over the universe. Obviously Taylor is doing fine on her own, but what if she goes full Rogan and ushers her fans to football by chatting with new NFL talent and calling every dumb thought they have "fascinating," with zero context or follow-up?

The cost of ink saved from exclusion of unnecessary words in a second sentence really extrapolates out over the course of a year at tens of thousands of copies printed per day. If anything, you owe me and my em dashes a fat bonus for saving the company on overhead.

I hate this evolution of AI ... The em dash is a time-honored tradition of legit writers who are simply on a roll and can't be bothered with syntax before deadline.

While it can't match the sheer amplitude of full "Peak Crap New York," I'd submit that no other large sports town and sometimes thunderdome matches the consistency of Philadelphia.

Everyone knows Friar Dom is better suited as behind-the-scenes muscle.

We need a Peruvian Police/ @judgejohnhodgman.bsky.social crossover special when the trial begins.

I like the live-with-mom theory, but what if this wasn't the first sexy as hell dame of the weekend and she was waiting back at the house? After all, we know they realize and embrace the value of having one in the hold.

My dad bought very expensive fluorescent lights that went missing. He got even more indignant when we moved a decade later and his plan of finally finding it in an empty house fell through. He is still fuming ... He bought the lights in 1982.

Kendrick to passage: "You ain't a colleague. You a colonizer."