Melissa F. Olson
@mfolson.bsky.social
I turn Diet Coke into books. Writer, film prof, pit bull advocate, #EDS patient, shenanigans enthusiast. I’d probably be great on your podcast. She/her.
Find me everywhere: http://linktr.ee/melissafolson
Find me everywhere: http://linktr.ee/melissafolson
The face of a reactive anxious dog whose whole life flashed before his eyes during a 90 second visit into the hardware store. He barely survived and now has big Scrooge on Christmas Morning energy.
#rescuedogs
#rescuedogs
November 19, 2025 at 3:15 PM
The face of a reactive anxious dog whose whole life flashed before his eyes during a 90 second visit into the hardware store. He barely survived and now has big Scrooge on Christmas Morning energy.
#rescuedogs
#rescuedogs
Post your favorite Star Trek character. Wrong answers only.
November 16, 2025 at 6:14 AM
Post your favorite Star Trek character. Wrong answers only.
You thought you had problems?
Drop everything and send thoughts and prayers for Frankie, who had to drag not one but two pillows into his comfortable dog bed
#FrankieSteinOlson
Drop everything and send thoughts and prayers for Frankie, who had to drag not one but two pillows into his comfortable dog bed
#FrankieSteinOlson
November 16, 2025 at 4:54 AM
You thought you had problems?
Drop everything and send thoughts and prayers for Frankie, who had to drag not one but two pillows into his comfortable dog bed
#FrankieSteinOlson
Drop everything and send thoughts and prayers for Frankie, who had to drag not one but two pillows into his comfortable dog bed
#FrankieSteinOlson
MUTHER
DESPITE MY EXPRESSION I AM TRULY QUITE STRESSED
WHY MUST YOU BRING ME TO THE CHAMBER OF MEDICAL POKERY
#FrankieSteinOlson
DESPITE MY EXPRESSION I AM TRULY QUITE STRESSED
WHY MUST YOU BRING ME TO THE CHAMBER OF MEDICAL POKERY
#FrankieSteinOlson
November 11, 2025 at 2:37 AM
MUTHER
DESPITE MY EXPRESSION I AM TRULY QUITE STRESSED
WHY MUST YOU BRING ME TO THE CHAMBER OF MEDICAL POKERY
#FrankieSteinOlson
DESPITE MY EXPRESSION I AM TRULY QUITE STRESSED
WHY MUST YOU BRING ME TO THE CHAMBER OF MEDICAL POKERY
#FrankieSteinOlson
Meant to share this photo from trick-or-treating of my pal, the King in Yellow. I hadn’t actually read Chambers, so I’m off to get @injculbard.bsky.social’s gorgeous adaptation to find out how narrowly I escaped with my life 😆
November 10, 2025 at 4:47 PM
Meant to share this photo from trick-or-treating of my pal, the King in Yellow. I hadn’t actually read Chambers, so I’m off to get @injculbard.bsky.social’s gorgeous adaptation to find out how narrowly I escaped with my life 😆
So, uh, if you really want to fill out your Frankenstein dance card, I have this book out…
bit.ly/EFrankenstein
bit.ly/EFrankenstein
October 26, 2025 at 4:33 AM
So, uh, if you really want to fill out your Frankenstein dance card, I have this book out…
bit.ly/EFrankenstein
bit.ly/EFrankenstein
Oh man, I feel like it must be SO satisfying in there
October 25, 2025 at 5:30 PM
Oh man, I feel like it must be SO satisfying in there
What it’s like to live with me in one photo
October 12, 2025 at 3:37 AM
What it’s like to live with me in one photo
Me: Okay, going outside to get the mail, then right back in to work more.
Outside: you put this hammock up for a reason, dipshit.
Outside: you put this hammock up for a reason, dipshit.
October 10, 2025 at 6:56 PM
Me: Okay, going outside to get the mail, then right back in to work more.
Outside: you put this hammock up for a reason, dipshit.
Outside: you put this hammock up for a reason, dipshit.
It’s finally here!
You can now buy the trade paperback of ARCHAIC, about a badass single mom who’s put in charge of a sentient island and its mythological Inhabitants. Come for the Mesopotamian goddess of the dead, stay for the 9-yr-old who saves the day w/birdwatching skills.
bit.ly/Demonde
You can now buy the trade paperback of ARCHAIC, about a badass single mom who’s put in charge of a sentient island and its mythological Inhabitants. Come for the Mesopotamian goddess of the dead, stay for the 9-yr-old who saves the day w/birdwatching skills.
bit.ly/Demonde
October 8, 2025 at 2:43 PM
It’s finally here!
You can now buy the trade paperback of ARCHAIC, about a badass single mom who’s put in charge of a sentient island and its mythological Inhabitants. Come for the Mesopotamian goddess of the dead, stay for the 9-yr-old who saves the day w/birdwatching skills.
bit.ly/Demonde
You can now buy the trade paperback of ARCHAIC, about a badass single mom who’s put in charge of a sentient island and its mythological Inhabitants. Come for the Mesopotamian goddess of the dead, stay for the 9-yr-old who saves the day w/birdwatching skills.
bit.ly/Demonde
How I earned this face:
a) I let in an EVIL STRANGER (my kid’s friend)
b) I trapped him in a CAGE (my office, w/me) while she roamed the den w/her EVIL GRUBBY PAWS (they played Roblox)
c) I gave the EVIL STRANGER snacks meant for HIM (they were not)
d) I did not let him kill her EVEN A LITTLE BIT
a) I let in an EVIL STRANGER (my kid’s friend)
b) I trapped him in a CAGE (my office, w/me) while she roamed the den w/her EVIL GRUBBY PAWS (they played Roblox)
c) I gave the EVIL STRANGER snacks meant for HIM (they were not)
d) I did not let him kill her EVEN A LITTLE BIT
October 6, 2025 at 12:01 AM
How I earned this face:
a) I let in an EVIL STRANGER (my kid’s friend)
b) I trapped him in a CAGE (my office, w/me) while she roamed the den w/her EVIL GRUBBY PAWS (they played Roblox)
c) I gave the EVIL STRANGER snacks meant for HIM (they were not)
d) I did not let him kill her EVEN A LITTLE BIT
a) I let in an EVIL STRANGER (my kid’s friend)
b) I trapped him in a CAGE (my office, w/me) while she roamed the den w/her EVIL GRUBBY PAWS (they played Roblox)
c) I gave the EVIL STRANGER snacks meant for HIM (they were not)
d) I did not let him kill her EVEN A LITTLE BIT
One of my children has a friend over, so we are obviously at Defcon One
October 5, 2025 at 7:41 PM
One of my children has a friend over, so we are obviously at Defcon One
Just some wedding prep, nbd
October 4, 2025 at 4:58 AM
Just some wedding prep, nbd
I absolutely need one of you artsy types to make me a replica of the world’s most incredible serving bowl
September 26, 2025 at 3:09 AM
I absolutely need one of you artsy types to make me a replica of the world’s most incredible serving bowl
Okay, fine. i’ll wait ONE more day to give up on humankind forever
September 25, 2025 at 9:39 PM
Okay, fine. i’ll wait ONE more day to give up on humankind forever
I don’t know. Here is a dog.
September 21, 2025 at 3:39 PM
I don’t know. Here is a dog.
muther remove this disgusting warm light from my presence at once
#FrankieSteinOlson
#FrankieSteinOlson
September 18, 2025 at 12:03 PM
muther remove this disgusting warm light from my presence at once
#FrankieSteinOlson
#FrankieSteinOlson
September 6, 2025 at 1:41 PM
Internet hive mind: can anyone help my most ridiculous sister with this book question?
Before you ask, I did check and she does NOT mean the movie National Treasure.
Before you ask, I did check and she does NOT mean the movie National Treasure.
August 29, 2025 at 5:03 PM
Internet hive mind: can anyone help my most ridiculous sister with this book question?
Before you ask, I did check and she does NOT mean the movie National Treasure.
Before you ask, I did check and she does NOT mean the movie National Treasure.
When your little brother is being A Lot
August 26, 2025 at 2:17 PM
When your little brother is being A Lot
From the makers of “If I fits I sits,” I bring you: “If it stacks I slacks.”
August 16, 2025 at 5:43 PM
From the makers of “If I fits I sits,” I bring you: “If it stacks I slacks.”
If you could instantly own the full wardrobe (in your size) of any character on TV, whose would it be?
July 18, 2025 at 7:55 PM
If you could instantly own the full wardrobe (in your size) of any character on TV, whose would it be?
This is my part-time dog, Tacoma. He is a stealth barnacle who tries to manslaughter anyone standing in the kitchen, thus causing them to shower people food at his feet. Tonight it was my turn in his simpleminded crosshairs.
July 11, 2025 at 2:37 AM
This is my part-time dog, Tacoma. He is a stealth barnacle who tries to manslaughter anyone standing in the kitchen, thus causing them to shower people food at his feet. Tonight it was my turn in his simpleminded crosshairs.
Praise for THE OTHER FRANKENSTEIN, out 7/8:
"A fascinating read that I finished in one afternoon, though it lingers in the memory. A plot device in the original novel, Elizabeth Frankenstein reaches full realisation in this daring book. Highly recommended.” – Tade Thompson
bit.ly/EFrankenstein
"A fascinating read that I finished in one afternoon, though it lingers in the memory. A plot device in the original novel, Elizabeth Frankenstein reaches full realisation in this daring book. Highly recommended.” – Tade Thompson
bit.ly/EFrankenstein
July 5, 2025 at 1:41 PM
Praise for THE OTHER FRANKENSTEIN, out 7/8:
"A fascinating read that I finished in one afternoon, though it lingers in the memory. A plot device in the original novel, Elizabeth Frankenstein reaches full realisation in this daring book. Highly recommended.” – Tade Thompson
bit.ly/EFrankenstein
"A fascinating read that I finished in one afternoon, though it lingers in the memory. A plot device in the original novel, Elizabeth Frankenstein reaches full realisation in this daring book. Highly recommended.” – Tade Thompson
bit.ly/EFrankenstein
My Patreon followers are making it possible for me to write a Cricton-style sci-fi adventure about de-extinct mammoths in Antarctica! Join me for monthly chapters, my writing process, research samples, etc. There's also a LIBRARY of my other writing to catch up on!
bit.ly/MFOPatreon
bit.ly/MFOPatreon
July 4, 2025 at 3:55 PM
My Patreon followers are making it possible for me to write a Cricton-style sci-fi adventure about de-extinct mammoths in Antarctica! Join me for monthly chapters, my writing process, research samples, etc. There's also a LIBRARY of my other writing to catch up on!
bit.ly/MFOPatreon
bit.ly/MFOPatreon