Welcome to Jack's Breakfast. As a starter, can I interest you all in a bowl of oatmeal for the table? The chef always makes it as plain as possible.

A pure-hearted, truly non-evil advertiser, probably: I'm sure glad we don't market nicotine products to children anymore. No siree, you won't find us advertising to kids. Anyways, how can we make this ad look more like Uno, the family card game?

This statement on the wall at the grocery store seems to be ready to become on-the-nose environmental storytelling after a zombie apocalypse.

A pathetic ad for life-quitters.

Frankenstein: A thousand eternities spent in the fiery depths for my acts, and it shall be you, the evidence of my greatest sin, who is there to greet me upon the gates of the underworld!

The creature: Who, me?