melissa j hogan
@melissajhogan.substack.com
Attorney • Advocate • Author, “Afraid of the Doctor” • Parenting a son with rare disease/special needs • Grieving the loss of another son • I #amwriting about the intersection of the law, faith, and abuse at melissajhogan.substack.com
Reposted by melissa j hogan
It is a scandal totally unprecedented in history that the Vice President has shared a video depicting the President as king. It’s an obscene violation of every founding American principle.
And nothing will come of it. It makes me physically sick.
And nothing will come of it. It makes me physically sick.
October 19, 2025 at 12:35 AM
It is a scandal totally unprecedented in history that the Vice President has shared a video depicting the President as king. It’s an obscene violation of every founding American principle.
And nothing will come of it. It makes me physically sick.
And nothing will come of it. It makes me physically sick.
Have you ever said:
“Hey, check out this e-mail I just got from [toxic/abusive person]. How should I respond? Here’s my first draft.”
After my own abusive relationship and years as an attorney/investigator in the field of trauma and abuse, I compiled my advice.
open.substack.com/pub/melissaj...
“Hey, check out this e-mail I just got from [toxic/abusive person]. How should I respond? Here’s my first draft.”
After my own abusive relationship and years as an attorney/investigator in the field of trauma and abuse, I compiled my advice.
open.substack.com/pub/melissaj...
How to Respond to Unhealthy or Toxic People
Especially when you have to maintain relationship with them
open.substack.com
September 19, 2025 at 7:08 PM
Have you ever said:
“Hey, check out this e-mail I just got from [toxic/abusive person]. How should I respond? Here’s my first draft.”
After my own abusive relationship and years as an attorney/investigator in the field of trauma and abuse, I compiled my advice.
open.substack.com/pub/melissaj...
“Hey, check out this e-mail I just got from [toxic/abusive person]. How should I respond? Here’s my first draft.”
After my own abusive relationship and years as an attorney/investigator in the field of trauma and abuse, I compiled my advice.
open.substack.com/pub/melissaj...
When for so long, we’ve experienced confusion and harm, belittling and devaluing, it is hard to know what to do with loving, consistent care. Our bodies can unwittingly assume that unfamiliar means unsafe.
open.substack.com/pub/melissaj...
open.substack.com/pub/melissaj...
Unfamiliar
How healthy behavior can feel bad after abuse
open.substack.com
July 12, 2025 at 3:38 PM
When for so long, we’ve experienced confusion and harm, belittling and devaluing, it is hard to know what to do with loving, consistent care. Our bodies can unwittingly assume that unfamiliar means unsafe.
open.substack.com/pub/melissaj...
open.substack.com/pub/melissaj...
I learned that God values diversity, equity, and inclusion from the Bible.
I learned that good people value diversity, equity, and inclusion from Mr. Rogers.
I learned that I should value diversity, equity, and inclusion from my children.
I learned that good people value diversity, equity, and inclusion from Mr. Rogers.
I learned that I should value diversity, equity, and inclusion from my children.
April 19, 2025 at 6:55 PM
I learned that God values diversity, equity, and inclusion from the Bible.
I learned that good people value diversity, equity, and inclusion from Mr. Rogers.
I learned that I should value diversity, equity, and inclusion from my children.
I learned that good people value diversity, equity, and inclusion from Mr. Rogers.
I learned that I should value diversity, equity, and inclusion from my children.
In November 2023, three months after the painful loss of my 17yo son, my friend @bozlaw.bsky.social asked if I would consider working on a case with him.
I wasn’t sure I was ready.
I hate overspiritualizing things, but dang it if God didn’t have some grand plans.
The next 16 months would be
I wasn’t sure I was ready.
I hate overspiritualizing things, but dang it if God didn’t have some grand plans.
The next 16 months would be
NEW: Alisa Womack, who reported abuse allegations against former SBC president Johnny Hunt to third-party investigators, described a federal judge's ruling against Hunt in a defamation case: “Justice peeked out from behind the dark clouds." www.tennessean.com/story/news/r...
Judge’s decision in SBC case a vindication for third-party firm, woman who reported abuse
Alissa Womack, who reported abuse allegations against Southern Baptist Convention ex-president, comes forward after judge endorses third-party report.
www.tennessean.com
April 3, 2025 at 7:25 PM
In November 2023, three months after the painful loss of my 17yo son, my friend @bozlaw.bsky.social asked if I would consider working on a case with him.
I wasn’t sure I was ready.
I hate overspiritualizing things, but dang it if God didn’t have some grand plans.
The next 16 months would be
I wasn’t sure I was ready.
I hate overspiritualizing things, but dang it if God didn’t have some grand plans.
The next 16 months would be
Trump’s tariffs, trade wars, aggression toward our closest neighbors are similar tactics to how abusers emotionally isolate their victims, esp from those they’d most likely turn to for help. Abusers push others away so victims become more and more dependent upon the abuser as the savior.
April 3, 2025 at 5:10 AM
Trump’s tariffs, trade wars, aggression toward our closest neighbors are similar tactics to how abusers emotionally isolate their victims, esp from those they’d most likely turn to for help. Abusers push others away so victims become more and more dependent upon the abuser as the savior.
Reposted by melissa j hogan
Some big news. A federal judge has rejected all of Johnny Hunt's claims from the Guidepost report
religionnews.com/2025/03/31/j...
religionnews.com/2025/03/31/j...
Judge rules against former SBC president Johnny Hunt in Guidepost defamation suit
(RNS) — One claim about an allegedly defamatory tweet by another former denominational president, is still live. The SBC has spent more than $3 million in legal fees on the Hunt case.
religionnews.com
April 1, 2025 at 12:26 AM
Some big news. A federal judge has rejected all of Johnny Hunt's claims from the Guidepost report
religionnews.com/2025/03/31/j...
religionnews.com/2025/03/31/j...
“I’m condemned to use the tools of my enemy to defeat them.”
- Luthen, “Andor”
- Also, Christian nationalists
- Luthen, “Andor”
- Also, Christian nationalists
March 14, 2025 at 1:55 AM
“I’m condemned to use the tools of my enemy to defeat them.”
- Luthen, “Andor”
- Also, Christian nationalists
- Luthen, “Andor”
- Also, Christian nationalists
March 13, 2025 at 11:00 PM
I really struggle to navigate a survivor community that sometimes embraces an abuser as president.
As survivors and advocates, we need to be willing to question our allegiance to *anyone* and especially ask ourselves if we are suffering from blindness
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As survivors and advocates, we need to be willing to question our allegiance to *anyone* and especially ask ourselves if we are suffering from blindness
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March 7, 2025 at 3:09 PM
I really struggle to navigate a survivor community that sometimes embraces an abuser as president.
As survivors and advocates, we need to be willing to question our allegiance to *anyone* and especially ask ourselves if we are suffering from blindness
+
As survivors and advocates, we need to be willing to question our allegiance to *anyone* and especially ask ourselves if we are suffering from blindness
+
Interpersonal abuse is significantly associated with suicidal ideation and attempts.
That’s the reality I personally knew to be true when people struggled to believe why Mica Miller, after filing for divorce from her abuser, would go on to commit suicide.
open.substack.com/pub/melissaj...
That’s the reality I personally knew to be true when people struggled to believe why Mica Miller, after filing for divorce from her abuser, would go on to commit suicide.
open.substack.com/pub/melissaj...
Drowning doesn't look like drowning
Res Ipsa Nota - abuse in the context of real life scenarios
open.substack.com
February 28, 2025 at 2:28 PM
Interpersonal abuse is significantly associated with suicidal ideation and attempts.
That’s the reality I personally knew to be true when people struggled to believe why Mica Miller, after filing for divorce from her abuser, would go on to commit suicide.
open.substack.com/pub/melissaj...
That’s the reality I personally knew to be true when people struggled to believe why Mica Miller, after filing for divorce from her abuser, would go on to commit suicide.
open.substack.com/pub/melissaj...
February 25, 2025 at 12:22 AM
This week, I’ve been watching the Netflix documentary about the murder of Gabby Petito by her fiancé Brian Laundrie.
It informed this week’s substack about the intersection of mental health and abuse.
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It informed this week’s substack about the intersection of mental health and abuse.
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Abuse, Trauma, and Mental Health: Navigating the Legal System as a Survivor
The intersection of mental health and abuse
melissajhogan.substack.com
February 23, 2025 at 1:22 AM
This week, I’ve been watching the Netflix documentary about the murder of Gabby Petito by her fiancé Brian Laundrie.
It informed this week’s substack about the intersection of mental health and abuse.
+
It informed this week’s substack about the intersection of mental health and abuse.
+
“Twitter also taught me a lot about Presbyterians, Episcopalians, and Church of Christ. It taught me that Southern Baptists were not Independent Fundamental Baptists, although many Southern Baptists can be quite independent and even more fundamentalist.”
open.substack.com/pub/melissaj...
open.substack.com/pub/melissaj...
When the women took me to Church
Res Ipsa Nota - looking at abuse in the context of real life scenarios
open.substack.com
February 12, 2025 at 2:10 PM
“Twitter also taught me a lot about Presbyterians, Episcopalians, and Church of Christ. It taught me that Southern Baptists were not Independent Fundamental Baptists, although many Southern Baptists can be quite independent and even more fundamentalist.”
open.substack.com/pub/melissaj...
open.substack.com/pub/melissaj...
What Trump is doing here is similar to the abusive silencing tactics I talk about on my substack. When someone in a position of power (here, pres + whole fed gov) leverages that power to try to pressure you to waive important rights.
DON’T DO IT.
- a lawyer familiar with abusive orgs and people
DON’T DO IT.
- a lawyer familiar with abusive orgs and people
“The most important part of the contract released by OPM is Section 13. It states that the federal employees who accept the agreement waive their right to enforce the agreement in court or in any other forum.” popular.info/p/update-the...
UPDATE: The "deferred resignation" scam
Last week, Popular Information broke down the "offer" that the Trump administration was making to millions of federal employees to induce them to resign voluntarily.
popular.info
February 5, 2025 at 4:08 PM
What Trump is doing here is similar to the abusive silencing tactics I talk about on my substack. When someone in a position of power (here, pres + whole fed gov) leverages that power to try to pressure you to waive important rights.
DON’T DO IT.
- a lawyer familiar with abusive orgs and people
DON’T DO IT.
- a lawyer familiar with abusive orgs and people
This is my love letter to any woman who realizes she is in a relationship with someone abusive — whether that’s domestic abuse against her/her children or sexual abuse against a child or an adult under their authority or spiritual abuse against their church.
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/u...
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/u...
127: False Redemption: It's Not A Marriage Issue Guest- Melissa J. Hogan
Podcast Episode · Untangled Faith · 02/04/2025 · 1h 4m
podcasts.apple.com
February 5, 2025 at 2:08 PM
This is my love letter to any woman who realizes she is in a relationship with someone abusive — whether that’s domestic abuse against her/her children or sexual abuse against a child or an adult under their authority or spiritual abuse against their church.
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/u...
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/u...
On the morning of May 20, 2019, I placed this card down in front of me on a table in a courtroom in Williamson County, Tennessee. Walking in, I had passed three board members of Ramsey Solutions, Dave Ramsey’s company, sitting on a bench outside the doors.
They were there to try to make sure…
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They were there to try to make sure…
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January 29, 2025 at 4:23 PM
On the morning of May 20, 2019, I placed this card down in front of me on a table in a courtroom in Williamson County, Tennessee. Walking in, I had passed three board members of Ramsey Solutions, Dave Ramsey’s company, sitting on a bench outside the doors.
They were there to try to make sure…
+
They were there to try to make sure…
+
January 29, 2025 at 5:02 AM
Confusion from Trump’s terribly drafted orders is part of the point, bc it attracts pleas for exceptions, attempts to ingratiate themselves, and habits of attention + favor seeking, which narcissists love.
Or, TRUMP HAS TERRIBLE LAWYERS if they cannot craft straightforward, understandable orders.
Or, TRUMP HAS TERRIBLE LAWYERS if they cannot craft straightforward, understandable orders.
January 28, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Confusion from Trump’s terribly drafted orders is part of the point, bc it attracts pleas for exceptions, attempts to ingratiate themselves, and habits of attention + favor seeking, which narcissists love.
Or, TRUMP HAS TERRIBLE LAWYERS if they cannot craft straightforward, understandable orders.
Or, TRUMP HAS TERRIBLE LAWYERS if they cannot craft straightforward, understandable orders.
Reposted by melissa j hogan
A few days after the salute heard around the word, Elon is speaking at [checks notes] the far-right party’s campaign rally in Germany.
January 25, 2025 at 7:27 PM
A few days after the salute heard around the word, Elon is speaking at [checks notes] the far-right party’s campaign rally in Germany.
A Trump presidency is like watching a slow train wreck.
When experts have warned about the broken tracks for 10 years and people are like but… but…
I build tracks and they’re buying them from me.
I like where the tracks are headed.
I like big, powerful steam engines.
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When experts have warned about the broken tracks for 10 years and people are like but… but…
I build tracks and they’re buying them from me.
I like where the tracks are headed.
I like big, powerful steam engines.
+
January 25, 2025 at 3:25 AM
A Trump presidency is like watching a slow train wreck.
When experts have warned about the broken tracks for 10 years and people are like but… but…
I build tracks and they’re buying them from me.
I like where the tracks are headed.
I like big, powerful steam engines.
+
When experts have warned about the broken tracks for 10 years and people are like but… but…
I build tracks and they’re buying them from me.
I like where the tracks are headed.
I like big, powerful steam engines.
+
Who will tell them that this is actually what religious persecution looks like and they are the Romans
January 25, 2025 at 3:01 AM
Who will tell them that this is actually what religious persecution looks like and they are the Romans
If you’re trying to understand why you or someone else stayed in a high control group, watching Severance and The Vow is so validating.
You can recognize so many of the subconscious fears - ones that you’re only able to ask, “What was I really afraid of?” after you’ve left and deprogrammed.
You can recognize so many of the subconscious fears - ones that you’re only able to ask, “What was I really afraid of?” after you’ve left and deprogrammed.
January 25, 2025 at 2:55 AM
If you’re trying to understand why you or someone else stayed in a high control group, watching Severance and The Vow is so validating.
You can recognize so many of the subconscious fears - ones that you’re only able to ask, “What was I really afraid of?” after you’ve left and deprogrammed.
You can recognize so many of the subconscious fears - ones that you’re only able to ask, “What was I really afraid of?” after you’ve left and deprogrammed.