Matt Alston
@mcribsisback.bsky.social
I'm Matt. Writer with bylines with Business Insider, The Nation, GQ, Wired. Copywriter for work-work. Weirdly good at Etch-a-Sketch. Not bad at disc golf.
https://www.thenation.com/article/society/ai-mcdonalds-disney-slop/
https://www.thenation.com/article/society/ai-mcdonalds-disney-slop/
if I woke up a billionaire, I'd simply start an A24 or Blumhouse type production/distro company and run it like the only goal we have to make cool shit and break even. give every cool indie artist the biggest budget they've ever had, pay your employees a good wage, pocket $0, become a hero to all
one of the things that makes me so upset about billionaires embracing AI is.... when I have a great idea, like "there should be a manga where Tora-san, star of the long-running Japanese comedy series 'Otoko wa Tsurai yo,' goes to San Francisco, is accused of murder and meets Lt. Columbo" -
December 27, 2025 at 2:34 AM
if I woke up a billionaire, I'd simply start an A24 or Blumhouse type production/distro company and run it like the only goal we have to make cool shit and break even. give every cool indie artist the biggest budget they've ever had, pay your employees a good wage, pocket $0, become a hero to all
Hi, I’m a seasonal worker at “Gimbal’s“ in New York City, and I am very willing to accept that a man I’ve never seen before, wearing an elf costume, is a coworker in my department. My manager does not know this man’s name but also broadly assumes he works here. We are the most credulous people alive
December 24, 2025 at 10:37 PM
Hi, I’m a seasonal worker at “Gimbal’s“ in New York City, and I am very willing to accept that a man I’ve never seen before, wearing an elf costume, is a coworker in my department. My manager does not know this man’s name but also broadly assumes he works here. We are the most credulous people alive
it's such weak shit to cast about for blame in this way; part of "being a writer" in quotes is always blaming yourself for your near-misses and complete failures.
it's your *duty* to be like, "i had the SAME idea as the tv show GLOW YEARS ago" and be weird about it while people's eyes glaze over
it's your *duty* to be like, "i had the SAME idea as the tv show GLOW YEARS ago" and be weird about it while people's eyes glaze over
One problem with this take is the number of high profile white millennial men in the media...
www.compactmag.com/article/the-...
www.compactmag.com/article/the-...
December 16, 2025 at 2:56 PM
it's such weak shit to cast about for blame in this way; part of "being a writer" in quotes is always blaming yourself for your near-misses and complete failures.
it's your *duty* to be like, "i had the SAME idea as the tv show GLOW YEARS ago" and be weird about it while people's eyes glaze over
it's your *duty* to be like, "i had the SAME idea as the tv show GLOW YEARS ago" and be weird about it while people's eyes glaze over
Learned a few years back that I'm bizarrely good at Etch-a-Sketch and the most common response is asking how I might monetize it. Disregarding that you cannot sell one without considerable effort (taking the thing apart, magnets, etc), it's so wonderful to only be able to do a thing for its own sake
December 15, 2025 at 2:53 PM
Learned a few years back that I'm bizarrely good at Etch-a-Sketch and the most common response is asking how I might monetize it. Disregarding that you cannot sell one without considerable effort (taking the thing apart, magnets, etc), it's so wonderful to only be able to do a thing for its own sake
Immediately after enjoying ROOFMAN, which is terrific, my wife and I threw on the first act of PLACE BEYOND THE PINES, and I'm here to say (probably uncontroversially) that I didn't recall Ben Mendelsohn's performance hitting so hard but MY GOD does he steal the show
December 14, 2025 at 2:24 PM
Immediately after enjoying ROOFMAN, which is terrific, my wife and I threw on the first act of PLACE BEYOND THE PINES, and I'm here to say (probably uncontroversially) that I didn't recall Ben Mendelsohn's performance hitting so hard but MY GOD does he steal the show
Reposted by Matt Alston
This is a good piece; it’s frustrating that my cited post resonates beyond the bubble of people who like my work & yet that resonance will not, cannot, move the tech people actively making things worse. Not one of them cares. Their vision of the future is “we make more money.”
For @thenation.com I wrote about the hideous AI Slop advert that Mickey D's had to pull, and why the collective immune response is the only normal and good reaction to slop
(also got to call Jimmy Fallon "feckless" and quote a @themountaingoats.bsky.social post)
www.thenation.com/article/soci...
(also got to call Jimmy Fallon "feckless" and quote a @themountaingoats.bsky.social post)
www.thenation.com/article/soci...
The Slop of Things to Come
This past week boasted many overhyped AI breakthroughs, but the healthiest one was the fierce repudiation of a contemptuous McDonald’s ad.
www.thenation.com
December 12, 2025 at 5:06 PM
This is a good piece; it’s frustrating that my cited post resonates beyond the bubble of people who like my work & yet that resonance will not, cannot, move the tech people actively making things worse. Not one of them cares. Their vision of the future is “we make more money.”
For @thenation.com I wrote about the hideous AI Slop advert that Mickey D's had to pull, and why the collective immune response is the only normal and good reaction to slop
(also got to call Jimmy Fallon "feckless" and quote a @themountaingoats.bsky.social post)
www.thenation.com/article/soci...
(also got to call Jimmy Fallon "feckless" and quote a @themountaingoats.bsky.social post)
www.thenation.com/article/soci...
The Slop of Things to Come
This past week boasted many overhyped AI breakthroughs, but the healthiest one was the fierce repudiation of a contemptuous McDonald’s ad.
www.thenation.com
December 12, 2025 at 1:30 PM
For @thenation.com I wrote about the hideous AI Slop advert that Mickey D's had to pull, and why the collective immune response is the only normal and good reaction to slop
(also got to call Jimmy Fallon "feckless" and quote a @themountaingoats.bsky.social post)
www.thenation.com/article/soci...
(also got to call Jimmy Fallon "feckless" and quote a @themountaingoats.bsky.social post)
www.thenation.com/article/soci...
TIFU by entering my salary into an inflation calculator
December 9, 2025 at 3:05 PM
TIFU by entering my salary into an inflation calculator
thanksgiving take #2 is that Knives Out movies should drop on streaming for thanksgiving, not christmas, this goes against all my beliefs in theater supremacy etc, but I just think it would be lovely to put Wake Up Dead Man on tomorrow night!
November 25, 2025 at 1:47 PM
thanksgiving take #2 is that Knives Out movies should drop on streaming for thanksgiving, not christmas, this goes against all my beliefs in theater supremacy etc, but I just think it would be lovely to put Wake Up Dead Man on tomorrow night!
my yearly thanksgiving take is "i wanna be able to see the ridges from the can" cranberry sauce people are annoying. making your own is objectively better! get that "we used to drink from the hose" shit outta here.
November 25, 2025 at 1:42 PM
my yearly thanksgiving take is "i wanna be able to see the ridges from the can" cranberry sauce people are annoying. making your own is objectively better! get that "we used to drink from the hose" shit outta here.
there’s no way Trump knows the price of milk but there’s also no way David Brooks knows the price of milk and tbh I’m not sure I would pass a milk price quiz myself
November 21, 2025 at 7:08 PM
there’s no way Trump knows the price of milk but there’s also no way David Brooks knows the price of milk and tbh I’m not sure I would pass a milk price quiz myself
The US state closest to Africa is Maine
Man, everything is so bleak, anyone got a fun fact or little bit of trivia they want to share
November 21, 2025 at 5:24 PM
The US state closest to Africa is Maine
Just thinking about how Trump called himself the "father of IVF" while campaigning. The father of IVF!
November 20, 2025 at 3:39 PM
Just thinking about how Trump called himself the "father of IVF" while campaigning. The father of IVF!
My 6yo daughter is having a friend sleep over tonight, is It finally time to introduce these kids to TENET (2020)?
November 15, 2025 at 9:40 PM
My 6yo daughter is having a friend sleep over tonight, is It finally time to introduce these kids to TENET (2020)?
Reposted by Matt Alston
The best revenge is the simplest. Avenge your teammate for the previous HBP by hitting the ball into the pitcher.
November 2, 2025 at 1:30 AM
The best revenge is the simplest. Avenge your teammate for the previous HBP by hitting the ball into the pitcher.
I wrote about the oyster farmer, kept a 41-year streak alive of not "well actually"-ing nazi iconography, and Chris Lehmann at @thenation.com threw out the best headline I'll ever be attached to
www.thenation.com/article/poli...
www.thenation.com/article/poli...
Maine’s Case of Platner Fasciitis
The scandals engulfing the Democratic Senate hopeful expose a rift between the state's provincial and national identities
www.thenation.com
October 31, 2025 at 3:51 PM
I wrote about the oyster farmer, kept a 41-year streak alive of not "well actually"-ing nazi iconography, and Chris Lehmann at @thenation.com threw out the best headline I'll ever be attached to
www.thenation.com/article/poli...
www.thenation.com/article/poli...
If you have friends who have a baby, just drop off food. Don’t ask them what they need, just find out that they are home, and drop off a lasagna or a big soup or whatever you know they like. Take the mental energy of arranging your visit off the table and just hand off a meal.
October 29, 2025 at 2:05 AM
If you have friends who have a baby, just drop off food. Don’t ask them what they need, just find out that they are home, and drop off a lasagna or a big soup or whatever you know they like. Take the mental energy of arranging your visit off the table and just hand off a meal.
Annual post to mark the start of old-man pickup basketball: there’a nothing better than still having your touch
October 28, 2025 at 12:34 AM
Annual post to mark the start of old-man pickup basketball: there’a nothing better than still having your touch
This costume is the formerly hipster dad bat signal, I’m casting about for my people. Excited to meet 3-7 Halloween Bobs next Friday out with our kids trick or treating.
October 24, 2025 at 5:11 PM
This costume is the formerly hipster dad bat signal, I’m casting about for my people. Excited to meet 3-7 Halloween Bobs next Friday out with our kids trick or treating.
me running errands in my Maine town today and I see Platner yard signs
October 21, 2025 at 7:52 PM
me running errands in my Maine town today and I see Platner yard signs
Even when it’s used for everyday/personal projects, GenAI “art” just plain stinks. why do the skeletons have flesh arms?
My neighbor Judy hits it out of the park again with her Halloween yard skeletons, this year the busted “Coldplay Couple”.
October 13, 2025 at 12:42 PM
Even when it’s used for everyday/personal projects, GenAI “art” just plain stinks. why do the skeletons have flesh arms?
“Earn 3% back in bitcoin on every slice 🍕”
October 8, 2025 at 5:39 PM
“Earn 3% back in bitcoin on every slice 🍕”
for the rest of my life now I'm going to say I've had "a few small beers" whenever I've had a few small beers
September 29, 2025 at 2:31 PM
for the rest of my life now I'm going to say I've had "a few small beers" whenever I've had a few small beers
Realized a life goal I didn't know I had, by getting the words "Glup Shitto" into a piece. Wrote about the $1000 LEGO Death Star!
www.gq.com/story/why-le...
www.gq.com/story/why-le...
Why LEGO's New Death Star Set Has Caused a Great Disturbance in the Force
‘Star Wars’ IP helped turn LEGO into the world's most valuable toy company, but the company's first-ever $1,000 playset has LEGO fans ready to join the rebellion. “They are angry about the set,” one m...
www.gq.com
September 26, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Realized a life goal I didn't know I had, by getting the words "Glup Shitto" into a piece. Wrote about the $1000 LEGO Death Star!
www.gq.com/story/why-le...
www.gq.com/story/why-le...