Tragically, there’s no inoculation for cuties. #vaxxed

Teaching Kiddo how to change Tempo early so that I don’t blow his mind when I show him the fast forward button.

I believe that as a father, your job is 50% blowing noses and 50% blowing minds. There’s probably some other stuff too, but mostly his mom does that.

It’s really hard to say no to this kid… but a bit easier when the request is palpably abstract and quite possibly impossible.

Years from now I can only hope my son’s smart enough to understand I only raised him this way because I’m an idiot.

Told Kiddo “say it, don’t spray it,” and he said “f*ck it, I’ll do both.”

As a modern parent, I take screen-time limits seriously.
That’s why I tell Baby: you don’t touch the iPad. I touch the iPad.
To activate the voice changer.
To teach him about the perils of technology, right before nap time.
Parenting is about compromises.

When baby refuses to nap and gets just the right level of punchy, for a brief moment he becomes an artistic genius, and you can take my word on that, because I’m even sleepier.

What makes a good question, rhetorically speaking? (Asking for a friend who is a baby??).

Baby’s a triple threat: He can sing, draw, and break his father’s iPad accessories (often all three at once). Next stop: Broadway! (Gonna try to sell my talented baby to buy a new Apple Pencil).

He nailed it in one take and refused to try again.