Starting to think the G in GTA VI stands for Godot
November 8, 2025 at 12:44 AM
Starting to think the G in GTA VI stands for Godot
BOOKED IT!!!! I’ll be the one jumping a pyrotechnic monster truck over the stadium stage at Dick Cheney’s funeral
November 4, 2025 at 2:34 PM
BOOKED IT!!!! I’ll be the one jumping a pyrotechnic monster truck over the stadium stage at Dick Cheney’s funeral
The downfall of the United States began in earnest when Scooby Doo started doing “this time the monsters were real” storylines
November 3, 2025 at 6:40 PM
The downfall of the United States began in earnest when Scooby Doo started doing “this time the monsters were real” storylines
Overhearing a white lady say “So here’s why I’m really confused” in a tone that does NOT sound confused and immediately collapsing stiff on the floor like one of those goats
October 30, 2025 at 3:49 PM
Overhearing a white lady say “So here’s why I’m really confused” in a tone that does NOT sound confused and immediately collapsing stiff on the floor like one of those goats
Reposted by Max Bruno
New York City themed dnd where the classes are door guy, halal truck guy, bodega guy, nail lady, and teen
October 17, 2025 at 5:15 AM
New York City themed dnd where the classes are door guy, halal truck guy, bodega guy, nail lady, and teen
Looked it up and my protein powder is not one of the lead ones so it would seem that I’m just like this 💪
October 17, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Looked it up and my protein powder is not one of the lead ones so it would seem that I’m just like this 💪
Reposted by Max Bruno
THE ROCK: We have no choice. To save the universe and destroy Destructucus we need to activate the Smashing Machine.
GROOT: (solemn) I am Groot.
THEO VON: Then it is decided.
GROOT: (solemn) I am Groot.
THEO VON: Then it is decided.
October 11, 2025 at 5:35 PM
THE ROCK: We have no choice. To save the universe and destroy Destructucus we need to activate the Smashing Machine.
GROOT: (solemn) I am Groot.
THEO VON: Then it is decided.
GROOT: (solemn) I am Groot.
THEO VON: Then it is decided.
Guy who only uses “fam” in work emails but nowhere else
October 9, 2025 at 10:53 PM
Guy who only uses “fam” in work emails but nowhere else
We cannot let this happen. If the government shuts down, then it won’t be able to provide vital functions that serve us like uh UHhhh hmm oh haha huh uhhhhh UHHH [prolonged coughing] um heh uhhhh hmm
September 30, 2025 at 10:58 PM
We cannot let this happen. If the government shuts down, then it won’t be able to provide vital functions that serve us like uh UHhhh hmm oh haha huh uhhhhh UHHH [prolonged coughing] um heh uhhhh hmm
My most toxic trait is that no matter how many Twilight Zone, Monkey’s Paw ass narratives I consume… I feel like immortality would be cool as hell for me
September 30, 2025 at 3:30 AM
My most toxic trait is that no matter how many Twilight Zone, Monkey’s Paw ass narratives I consume… I feel like immortality would be cool as hell for me
Mr. Judge, I realize that these hundreds of DMs may irritate you, but your silence regarding the relative widths of the other King of the Hill characters’ urethras remains deafening
September 25, 2025 at 12:40 PM
Mr. Judge, I realize that these hundreds of DMs may irritate you, but your silence regarding the relative widths of the other King of the Hill characters’ urethras remains deafening
Reposted by Max Bruno
i had a life-changing appetizer recently (sauteed green beans tossed in chili crisp, with ground italian sausage and cashews) that is going to become a regular meal in the rotation
September 24, 2025 at 11:41 PM
i had a life-changing appetizer recently (sauteed green beans tossed in chili crisp, with ground italian sausage and cashews) that is going to become a regular meal in the rotation
Reposted by Max Bruno
i feel in most relationships one partner is miss piggy and one partner is kermit. it's important to understand which one you are
September 25, 2025 at 1:11 AM
i feel in most relationships one partner is miss piggy and one partner is kermit. it's important to understand which one you are
Reposted by Max Bruno
i do not think americans want to live in a culture where jimmy kimmel is considered too edgy for television
September 17, 2025 at 11:51 PM
i do not think americans want to live in a culture where jimmy kimmel is considered too edgy for television
First Charlie Kirk, then Jimmy Kimmel… check on your white guys who never left their home town they are NOT okay
September 18, 2025 at 2:33 AM
First Charlie Kirk, then Jimmy Kimmel… check on your white guys who never left their home town they are NOT okay
Hypothetically speaking, just as like a philosophical thought exercise, I’m pondering what the appropriate and proportional response would be to a guy touring around the country saying the government should exterminate your girlfriend
September 17, 2025 at 1:22 PM
Hypothetically speaking, just as like a philosophical thought exercise, I’m pondering what the appropriate and proportional response would be to a guy touring around the country saying the government should exterminate your girlfriend
For some reason thinking about a guy who shoots himself in the foot while trying to shoot a puppy and then shoots you in the face for laughing at him
September 12, 2025 at 10:47 PM
For some reason thinking about a guy who shoots himself in the foot while trying to shoot a puppy and then shoots you in the face for laughing at him
I am once again left to wonder what all these “violence is not the answer” people think we beat the Nazis with last time
September 10, 2025 at 11:35 PM
I am once again left to wonder what all these “violence is not the answer” people think we beat the Nazis with last time
Conspiracy theorists speculating this was some kind of well-trained sniper when the shooter missed *this* head
September 10, 2025 at 11:24 PM
Conspiracy theorists speculating this was some kind of well-trained sniper when the shooter missed *this* head
Having a really good day. Can’t even really say why. Just grinning and humming to myself. Spring in my step. Etc. Something in the air I guess!
September 10, 2025 at 7:41 PM
Having a really good day. Can’t even really say why. Just grinning and humming to myself. Spring in my step. Etc. Something in the air I guess!
Reposted by Max Bruno
Sure boss. I don’t know what “accountable” means but I’d love to be held.
September 5, 2025 at 11:30 AM
Sure boss. I don’t know what “accountable” means but I’d love to be held.
If science is so “reliable” why hasn’t it created a plastic container that can survive one (1) encounter with curry
September 5, 2025 at 1:52 AM
If science is so “reliable” why hasn’t it created a plastic container that can survive one (1) encounter with curry
Imagine how racist you have to be if you need to imagine a brown guy getting mad to enjoy BACON
September 2, 2025 at 9:33 PM
Imagine how racist you have to be if you need to imagine a brown guy getting mad to enjoy BACON
Keep seeing this ad for pasta where someone’s stirring a big pot of Mac & Cheese saying “can you believe this is gluten free?” and… yes. As soon as it turns to ash in my mouth and despair rings cold in my heart… yes
August 28, 2025 at 2:46 AM
Keep seeing this ad for pasta where someone’s stirring a big pot of Mac & Cheese saying “can you believe this is gluten free?” and… yes. As soon as it turns to ash in my mouth and despair rings cold in my heart… yes