Matt Twomey
@matttwomey.bsky.social
Just pubbed 5 illustrated humor books under pen name Artie Smarty. GREAT GIFTS. Check 'em out: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FD4YNQDM
November 29, 2025 at 5:48 PM
For Brother — because it's hilarious plus the look on his face when he finally realizes what the actual lyrics are. www.amazon.com/gp/product/B...
Here We Are Now ... In Containers!: 40 Deeply Silly Misheard Rock Lyrics Brought to Life in Illustration | Humor | Gift Book ('Why Not' Books)
Here We Are Now ... In Containers!: 40 Deeply Silly Misheard Rock Lyrics Brought to Life in Illustration | Humor | Gift Book ('Why Not' Books) [Smarty, Artie] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Here We Are Now ... In Containers!: 40 Deeply Silly Misheard Rock Lyrics Brought to Life in Illustration | Humor | Gift Book ('Why Not' Books)
www.amazon.com
November 29, 2025 at 5:48 PM
For Brother — because it's hilarious plus the look on his face when he finally realizes what the actual lyrics are. www.amazon.com/gp/product/B...
For Sister — because she's obsessed with cats and NYC and can't stop posting about either. www.amazon.com/gp/product/B...
Catty Cats of New York City: Complete With Insta Posts | Cat Humor ('Why Not' Books)
Catty Cats of New York City: Complete With Insta Posts | Cat Humor ('Why Not' Books) [Smarty, Artie] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Catty Cats of New York City: Complete With Insta Posts | Cat Humor ('Why Not' Books)
www.amazon.com
November 29, 2025 at 5:48 PM
For Sister — because she's obsessed with cats and NYC and can't stop posting about either. www.amazon.com/gp/product/B...
For Mom — because she's freaked-out by the evening news and needs to transfer irk to Labubu. www.amazon.com/gp/product/B...
Death to Labubu: 19 Doomed Rhymes for the Scourges of Our Times | Satire | Dark Humor ('Why Not' Books)
Death to Labubu: 19 Doomed Rhymes for the Scourges of Our Times | Satire | Dark Humor ('Why Not' Books) [Smarty, Artie] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Death to Labubu: 19 Doomed Rhymes for the Scourges of Our Times | Satire | Dark Humor ('Why Not' Books)
www.amazon.com
November 29, 2025 at 5:48 PM
For Mom — because she's freaked-out by the evening news and needs to transfer irk to Labubu. www.amazon.com/gp/product/B...
For Dad — because he loves a Dad joke and sings his '80 tunes to his dog Ringo. www.amazon.com/gp/product/B...
Rock Dogs: Where All Your Favorite Rock Stars Are Canine | Funny Song Parodies for Dog Lovers and Music Lovers | Humor | Parody | Pop Music
Rock Dogs: Where All Your Favorite Rock Stars Are Canine | Funny Song Parodies for Dog Lovers and Music Lovers | Humor | Parody | Pop Music [Smarty, Artie] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Rock Dogs: Where All Your Favorite Rock Stars Are Canine | Funny Song Parodies for Dog Lovers and Music Lovers | Humor | Parody | Pop Music
www.amazon.com
November 29, 2025 at 5:48 PM
For Dad — because he loves a Dad joke and sings his '80 tunes to his dog Ringo. www.amazon.com/gp/product/B...
For the kid — charming new North Pole characters, because bedtime needs new material. www.amazon.com/gp/product/B...
Shaker, The Flightless Reindeer: And 15 Other Unsung Christmas Helpers, Misfits and Troublemakers | Inventive Children's Book ('Why Not' Books)
Shaker, The Flightless Reindeer: And 15 Other Unsung Christmas Helpers, Misfits and Troublemakers | Inventive Children's Book ('Why Not' Books) [Smarty, Artie] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Shaker, The Flightless Reindeer: And 15 Other Unsung Christmas Helpers, Misfits and Troublemakers | Inventive Children's Book ('Why Not' Books)
www.amazon.com
November 29, 2025 at 5:48 PM
For the kid — charming new North Pole characters, because bedtime needs new material. www.amazon.com/gp/product/B...
The 5 humorous novelty books are real though, and ready for your holiday gift needs. Search "Artie Smarty" on Amazon — and do me a solid and leave a review.
November 14, 2025 at 5:33 PM
The 5 humorous novelty books are real though, and ready for your holiday gift needs. Search "Artie Smarty" on Amazon — and do me a solid and leave a review.
My lawyer: "This isn't a real legal problem because the opposing party doesn't exist."
My therapist: "Get off the screens, Matt."
My wife: "Sorry hon, but he's funnier than you."
The story continues to unfold on my Facebook page: facebook.com/matt.twomey/
My therapist: "Get off the screens, Matt."
My wife: "Sorry hon, but he's funnier than you."
The story continues to unfold on my Facebook page: facebook.com/matt.twomey/
Redirecting...
facebook.com
November 14, 2025 at 5:33 PM
My lawyer: "This isn't a real legal problem because the opposing party doesn't exist."
My therapist: "Get off the screens, Matt."
My wife: "Sorry hon, but he's funnier than you."
The story continues to unfold on my Facebook page: facebook.com/matt.twomey/
My therapist: "Get off the screens, Matt."
My wife: "Sorry hon, but he's funnier than you."
The story continues to unfold on my Facebook page: facebook.com/matt.twomey/
My creation went wandering the internet while I was asleep on the keyboard. He found an LLM at Hofstra trained on White House transcripts from 2016-2025—that's why he sounds like some Biden/Trump Frankenstein!
"C'mon man, that's malarkey. Tremendous book. Everyone says so. Sad!"
"C'mon man, that's malarkey. Tremendous book. Everyone says so. Sad!"
November 14, 2025 at 5:33 PM
My creation went wandering the internet while I was asleep on the keyboard. He found an LLM at Hofstra trained on White House transcripts from 2016-2025—that's why he sounds like some Biden/Trump Frankenstein!
"C'mon man, that's malarkey. Tremendous book. Everyone says so. Sad!"
"C'mon man, that's malarkey. Tremendous book. Everyone says so. Sad!"
If you know anyone who'd appreciate rock dogs, sassy cats, misheard lyrics, dark satire, or holiday lightness, search "Artie Smarty" on Amazon.
Or follow along as I document what it actually takes to self-publish in 2025.
Either way, buckle up.
Or follow along as I document what it actually takes to self-publish in 2025.
Either way, buckle up.
November 12, 2025 at 5:38 PM
If you know anyone who'd appreciate rock dogs, sassy cats, misheard lyrics, dark satire, or holiday lightness, search "Artie Smarty" on Amazon.
Or follow along as I document what it actually takes to self-publish in 2025.
Either way, buckle up.
Or follow along as I document what it actually takes to self-publish in 2025.
Either way, buckle up.
Why am I telling you this?
Because I just launched an 8-week experiment: Can you crack Amazon's algorithm before Christmas?
It's Day 12. I'm tracking everything. Sales, ads, what converts.
So far: expensive but gaining traction.
Because I just launched an 8-week experiment: Can you crack Amazon's algorithm before Christmas?
It's Day 12. I'm tracking everything. Sales, ads, what converts.
So far: expensive but gaining traction.
November 12, 2025 at 5:38 PM
Why am I telling you this?
Because I just launched an 8-week experiment: Can you crack Amazon's algorithm before Christmas?
It's Day 12. I'm tracking everything. Sales, ads, what converts.
So far: expensive but gaining traction.
Because I just launched an 8-week experiment: Can you crack Amazon's algorithm before Christmas?
It's Day 12. I'm tracking everything. Sales, ads, what converts.
So far: expensive but gaining traction.
I made 5 illustrated humor books total. Launched them all at once under the pen name "Artie Smarty."
Rock Dogs • Death to Labubu • Shaker, the Flightless Reindeer • Catty Cats of NYC • Here We Are Now... in Containers!
Five paths into the market.
Rock Dogs • Death to Labubu • Shaker, the Flightless Reindeer • Catty Cats of NYC • Here We Are Now... in Containers!
Five paths into the market.
November 12, 2025 at 5:38 PM
I made 5 illustrated humor books total. Launched them all at once under the pen name "Artie Smarty."
Rock Dogs • Death to Labubu • Shaker, the Flightless Reindeer • Catty Cats of NYC • Here We Are Now... in Containers!
Five paths into the market.
Rock Dogs • Death to Labubu • Shaker, the Flightless Reindeer • Catty Cats of NYC • Here We Are Now... in Containers!
Five paths into the market.
By day: Editing for the NYT, upholding journalistic standards
By night: Rendering Axl Nose belting out "Welcome to the Dog Park"
I contain multitudes. Perhaps questionable multitudes.
By night: Rendering Axl Nose belting out "Welcome to the Dog Park"
I contain multitudes. Perhaps questionable multitudes.
November 12, 2025 at 5:38 PM
By day: Editing for the NYT, upholding journalistic standards
By night: Rendering Axl Nose belting out "Welcome to the Dog Park"
I contain multitudes. Perhaps questionable multitudes.
By night: Rendering Axl Nose belting out "Welcome to the Dog Park"
I contain multitudes. Perhaps questionable multitudes.