Great #stockingstuffers. Search "Artie Smarty" on Amazon. #HappyHolidays! Support #indie!

Update: They said A.I. would achieve sentience. I just didn't think it would take the form of my pen name claiming credit for my novelty books.

Artie Smarty (fake author I invented) started a Facebook page to "correct the record."

I've created a monster. A deeply petty monster.

If you know anyone who'd appreciate rock dogs, sassy cats, misheard lyrics, dark satire, or holiday lightness, search "Artie Smarty" on Amazon.
Or follow along as I document what it actually takes to self-publish in 2025.
Either way, buckle up.

I made 5 illustrated humor books total. Launched them all at once under the pen name "Artie Smarty."
Rock Dogs • Death to Labubu • Shaker, the Flightless Reindeer • Catty Cats of NYC • Here We Are Now... in Containers!
Five paths into the market.

By day: Editing for the NYT, upholding journalistic standards
By night: Rendering Axl Nose belting out "Welcome to the Dog Park"
I contain multitudes. Perhaps questionable multitudes.

I asked Google how much it cost to build the Empire State Building. Seems ok at first blush, but then you notice something is very wrong. Always fact-check A.I. facts.

NORM!

How is it that he calls himself king, then calls Zelensky a dictator, like that’s a bad thing?

Patton, you’re off base. From July 2024 (and hardly the first tough take.)

Peak decadence.

Watching Roy Cohn doc “Bully Coward Victim,” essential viewing for Trump origins. On MAX. And this should become trollface for libs.

Now the bricks lay on Grand Street
Where the neon madmen climb
They all fall there so perfectly
It all seems so well timed
And here I sit so patiently
Waiting to find out what price
You have to pay to get out of
Going through all these things twice

This is all I have for today.

Do you know your menu and your game plan?
#Nopressure

Have you started your dry-brine yet? #Thanksgiving