Matt Nõmme
@mattnommepoet.bsky.social
I'm a poet like, innit.
🏴 Caaaardiff
Insta: https://www.instagram.com/mattnommepoet/
My poetry book 'Happy Daze' out now:
https://www.mattnomme.wales/shop/p/happy-daze
🏴 Caaaardiff
Insta: https://www.instagram.com/mattnommepoet/
My poetry book 'Happy Daze' out now:
https://www.mattnomme.wales/shop/p/happy-daze
Have you ever seen AI cry?
I have.
Typed it in a search bar
and it gave me enough salt water to fill an ocean.
Women
Men
Girls
Boys
Dogs
Cats
All bawling their eyes out
All staring at me
All saying
“THIS IS YOUR FAULT.
HUMAN”
I have.
Typed it in a search bar
and it gave me enough salt water to fill an ocean.
Women
Men
Girls
Boys
Dogs
Cats
All bawling their eyes out
All staring at me
All saying
“THIS IS YOUR FAULT.
HUMAN”
August 30, 2025 at 10:30 AM
Have you ever seen AI cry?
I have.
Typed it in a search bar
and it gave me enough salt water to fill an ocean.
Women
Men
Girls
Boys
Dogs
Cats
All bawling their eyes out
All staring at me
All saying
“THIS IS YOUR FAULT.
HUMAN”
I have.
Typed it in a search bar
and it gave me enough salt water to fill an ocean.
Women
Men
Girls
Boys
Dogs
Cats
All bawling their eyes out
All staring at me
All saying
“THIS IS YOUR FAULT.
HUMAN”
Memorial benches are getting out of hand.
People who are alive will sneak their names on them like,
WE WILL MISS YOU MUM
FROM DEREK, PAULA, STEVEN, SARAH, AND FIDO XXX
If you’re alive you should be executed
for the audacity of joining the dead early,
you haven’t earned that view.
People who are alive will sneak their names on them like,
WE WILL MISS YOU MUM
FROM DEREK, PAULA, STEVEN, SARAH, AND FIDO XXX
If you’re alive you should be executed
for the audacity of joining the dead early,
you haven’t earned that view.
August 29, 2025 at 11:01 AM
Memorial benches are getting out of hand.
People who are alive will sneak their names on them like,
WE WILL MISS YOU MUM
FROM DEREK, PAULA, STEVEN, SARAH, AND FIDO XXX
If you’re alive you should be executed
for the audacity of joining the dead early,
you haven’t earned that view.
People who are alive will sneak their names on them like,
WE WILL MISS YOU MUM
FROM DEREK, PAULA, STEVEN, SARAH, AND FIDO XXX
If you’re alive you should be executed
for the audacity of joining the dead early,
you haven’t earned that view.
if you catch me listening to the Silent Hill 2 soundtrack,
don't intervene,
don't worry,
I'm chillin.
don't intervene,
don't worry,
I'm chillin.
August 29, 2025 at 8:01 AM
if you catch me listening to the Silent Hill 2 soundtrack,
don't intervene,
don't worry,
I'm chillin.
don't intervene,
don't worry,
I'm chillin.
Hubert Selby Jr used / instead of ' cos he couldn/t be arsed holding down the shift key on his typewriter.
Absolute mad cunt.
Love it.
Absolute mad cunt.
Love it.
August 28, 2025 at 11:22 PM
Hubert Selby Jr used / instead of ' cos he couldn/t be arsed holding down the shift key on his typewriter.
Absolute mad cunt.
Love it.
Absolute mad cunt.
Love it.
I wonder how often I’m in the background of other people’s photographs.
On a stranger’s mantelpiece
Them smiling
It’s their birthday,
Me,
scratching my arse.
On a stranger’s mantelpiece
Them smiling
It’s their birthday,
Me,
scratching my arse.
August 28, 2025 at 11:01 AM
I wonder how often I’m in the background of other people’s photographs.
On a stranger’s mantelpiece
Them smiling
It’s their birthday,
Me,
scratching my arse.
On a stranger’s mantelpiece
Them smiling
It’s their birthday,
Me,
scratching my arse.
The smell of a midnight piss is like nothing else,
the urea has mellowed
and barrel aged.
I use the sound hitting the bowl
to make sure my aim is true,
better not piss straight in the water
or you’ll wake the whole house up.
I’d turn on the light,
But where’s the thrill in that?
the urea has mellowed
and barrel aged.
I use the sound hitting the bowl
to make sure my aim is true,
better not piss straight in the water
or you’ll wake the whole house up.
I’d turn on the light,
But where’s the thrill in that?
August 28, 2025 at 8:00 AM
The smell of a midnight piss is like nothing else,
the urea has mellowed
and barrel aged.
I use the sound hitting the bowl
to make sure my aim is true,
better not piss straight in the water
or you’ll wake the whole house up.
I’d turn on the light,
But where’s the thrill in that?
the urea has mellowed
and barrel aged.
I use the sound hitting the bowl
to make sure my aim is true,
better not piss straight in the water
or you’ll wake the whole house up.
I’d turn on the light,
But where’s the thrill in that?
The English embarrassingly showing that they use England as a synonym for Britain.
August 27, 2025 at 3:48 PM
The English embarrassingly showing that they use England as a synonym for Britain.
would love to see the cunt who did this attempt to draw a Welsh dragon and have an aneurism in the process.
August 27, 2025 at 11:01 AM
would love to see the cunt who did this attempt to draw a Welsh dragon and have an aneurism in the process.
Was in Manchester for the rugby, heard someone say:
"I walked in a bar in Wales and they all started talking Welsh."
I thought that was a joke us Welsh people told eachother,
didn't think people seriously thought it lol.
"I walked in a bar in Wales and they all started talking Welsh."
I thought that was a joke us Welsh people told eachother,
didn't think people seriously thought it lol.
August 27, 2025 at 10:00 AM
Was in Manchester for the rugby, heard someone say:
"I walked in a bar in Wales and they all started talking Welsh."
I thought that was a joke us Welsh people told eachother,
didn't think people seriously thought it lol.
"I walked in a bar in Wales and they all started talking Welsh."
I thought that was a joke us Welsh people told eachother,
didn't think people seriously thought it lol.
no prizes for guessing in which country they found this...
August 27, 2025 at 9:00 AM
no prizes for guessing in which country they found this...
it's vampire night
We’ve just smelt the first rain for a month
and now all the midges are out.
I saw their silhouettes
in the sunset
In the streetlight.
I ate a whole clove of garlic before rolling the bins out,
the cunts still bled me dry.
We’ve just smelt the first rain for a month
and now all the midges are out.
I saw their silhouettes
in the sunset
In the streetlight.
I ate a whole clove of garlic before rolling the bins out,
the cunts still bled me dry.
August 26, 2025 at 10:00 PM
it's vampire night
We’ve just smelt the first rain for a month
and now all the midges are out.
I saw their silhouettes
in the sunset
In the streetlight.
I ate a whole clove of garlic before rolling the bins out,
the cunts still bled me dry.
We’ve just smelt the first rain for a month
and now all the midges are out.
I saw their silhouettes
in the sunset
In the streetlight.
I ate a whole clove of garlic before rolling the bins out,
the cunts still bled me dry.
Reposted by Matt Nõmme
March 12, 2025 at 2:55 PM
March 11, 2025 at 1:50 PM
Reposted by Matt Nõmme
See also: kingfisher or blue plastic
UK rivers are grim, here's a game I play called 'Heron or a plastic bag?'
March 10, 2025 at 1:55 PM
See also: kingfisher or blue plastic
UK rivers are grim, here's a game I play called 'Heron or a plastic bag?'
March 10, 2025 at 11:48 AM
UK rivers are grim, here's a game I play called 'Heron or a plastic bag?'
If I was stuck on the International Space Station, I wouldn't want to come back x
March 6, 2025 at 1:27 PM
If I was stuck on the International Space Station, I wouldn't want to come back x
I always check the colour of a helicopter.
March 4, 2025 at 5:07 PM
I always check the colour of a helicopter.
Jupiter would like a word.
December 12, 2024 at 11:07 PM
Jupiter would like a word.
December 12, 2024 at 4:18 PM
Feels like we're having a storm a week in Wales, so here's a poem about that.
#stormdarragh #stormbert #ukweather #poetry
#stormdarragh #stormbert #ukweather #poetry
December 12, 2024 at 12:38 PM
Feels like we're having a storm a week in Wales, so here's a poem about that.
#stormdarragh #stormbert #ukweather #poetry
#stormdarragh #stormbert #ukweather #poetry
A poem I wrote last year about the Nativity in Bethlehem, where they placed Jesus amongst rubble.
December 10, 2024 at 5:16 PM
A poem I wrote last year about the Nativity in Bethlehem, where they placed Jesus amongst rubble.
Reposted by Matt Nõmme
What a magnificent headline.
Daily Mail is SEETHING.
Daily Mail is SEETHING.
December 9, 2024 at 10:32 AM
What a magnificent headline.
Daily Mail is SEETHING.
Daily Mail is SEETHING.
Reposted by Matt Nõmme
Today’s poem is called ‘Needles’.
December 7, 2024 at 8:46 AM
Today’s poem is called ‘Needles’.