@mattmorgan.bsky.social
Chuck Schumer’s entire political existence right now is Clint Eastwood talking to an empty chair.
January 20, 2026 at 5:04 AM
Chuck Schumer’s entire political existence right now is Clint Eastwood talking to an empty chair.
Once again wrestling comes through with the perfect analogy for Trump and the Nobel Prize.
January 17, 2026 at 2:05 AM
Once again wrestling comes through with the perfect analogy for Trump and the Nobel Prize.
I need an Elf sequel starring Amy Sedaris’s character who is declawing her friend’s eight kittens for no charge.
December 23, 2025 at 11:13 PM
I need an Elf sequel starring Amy Sedaris’s character who is declawing her friend’s eight kittens for no charge.
What’s a technology that the world “evolved past” that you thought was actually better? Here’s mine.
December 23, 2025 at 10:24 PM
What’s a technology that the world “evolved past” that you thought was actually better? Here’s mine.
Has there ever been a less convincing movie couple than Scott Calvin and his ex-wife? I could never imagine them getting married, even if only to get divorced.
December 22, 2025 at 6:07 PM
Has there ever been a less convincing movie couple than Scott Calvin and his ex-wife? I could never imagine them getting married, even if only to get divorced.
Has there ever been a person less convincing than Joyce Byers in the Russian uniform?
December 21, 2025 at 4:37 AM
Has there ever been a person less convincing than Joyce Byers in the Russian uniform?
Wait Yukon Cornelius had a gun!?!
December 20, 2025 at 6:00 AM
Wait Yukon Cornelius had a gun!?!
For Halloween next year I’m going as Scott Calvin in a jacket, boxers, and boots.
December 6, 2025 at 9:38 PM
For Halloween next year I’m going as Scott Calvin in a jacket, boxers, and boots.
Come in and know me better man.
December 6, 2025 at 4:43 AM
Come in and know me better man.
It’s crazy how Russia coded Shoppers Express is in the 90s version of Miracle on 34th Street
November 28, 2025 at 4:57 AM
It’s crazy how Russia coded Shoppers Express is in the 90s version of Miracle on 34th Street
Motion to permanently change “Fezziwig” to “Fozziwig” in all future incarnations of A Christmas Carol.
November 18, 2025 at 2:56 AM
Motion to permanently change “Fezziwig” to “Fozziwig” in all future incarnations of A Christmas Carol.
All the quasi recent TV shows where they jump into the future and capitalism/technology is predatory and terrible and ruining lives, it’s all come true except for the awesome advances in phones. We’re still basically stuck with 2010 phones with slightly better batteries.
October 25, 2025 at 4:20 PM
All the quasi recent TV shows where they jump into the future and capitalism/technology is predatory and terrible and ruining lives, it’s all come true except for the awesome advances in phones. We’re still basically stuck with 2010 phones with slightly better batteries.
We tried to watch Airheads tonight and it apparently doesn’t exist on streaming anymore and this is the worst day of my life.
August 16, 2025 at 3:19 AM
We tried to watch Airheads tonight and it apparently doesn’t exist on streaming anymore and this is the worst day of my life.
I love the idea of showing up to the park in a full Sonics uniform. Eastbay was the best.
July 12, 2025 at 3:29 AM
I love the idea of showing up to the park in a full Sonics uniform. Eastbay was the best.
Sometimes it seems like these Amazon Prime Day beat writers have the only steady gigs in journalism. You’re telling me you’ve been covering this for YEARS!?
July 9, 2025 at 4:26 AM
Sometimes it seems like these Amazon Prime Day beat writers have the only steady gigs in journalism. You’re telling me you’ve been covering this for YEARS!?
The Sgt. Slaughter with Sgt. Slaughter action figure is innovative stuff
June 21, 2025 at 4:26 AM
The Sgt. Slaughter with Sgt. Slaughter action figure is innovative stuff
The idea of a courtroom sketch artist gets more and more bizarre the longer I think about it. “We can’t let in a photographer but we have this guy who will make an unhinged sketch of something that didn’t exactly happen but is representative of what happened.”
May 26, 2025 at 6:27 PM
The idea of a courtroom sketch artist gets more and more bizarre the longer I think about it. “We can’t let in a photographer but we have this guy who will make an unhinged sketch of something that didn’t exactly happen but is representative of what happened.”
I had no idea they still made this stuff. You’re telling me there’s been 30 years of people eating this stuff without a peep?
May 26, 2025 at 2:47 AM
I had no idea they still made this stuff. You’re telling me there’s been 30 years of people eating this stuff without a peep?
Remove a letter, improve a film:
Pollo 13
Pollo 13
May 3, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Remove a letter, improve a film:
Pollo 13
Pollo 13
If you see this, post your getaway vehicle
May 3, 2025 at 3:47 AM
If you see this, post your getaway vehicle
I dunno. Doesn’t seem like me.
April 23, 2025 at 1:16 AM
I dunno. Doesn’t seem like me.
Mentadent toothpaste felt like such a big deal when I was a kid. Like a scientific breakthrough. We used to be a proper nation.
April 18, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Mentadent toothpaste felt like such a big deal when I was a kid. Like a scientific breakthrough. We used to be a proper nation.
Nah, he doesn’t get to do this. You know what’s scarier than protestors? Living in Ukraine right now. The safety of their three year olds is just as important.
March 9, 2025 at 3:18 AM
Nah, he doesn’t get to do this. You know what’s scarier than protestors? Living in Ukraine right now. The safety of their three year olds is just as important.