Because he can’t see, and he’s being drawn by Frank Miller, who is completely fucking insane

❤️ yes. Yes, it could.

Bring back the Taskmaster who doesn't fight anyone if he can avoid it and spends most of his time running schools where supervillains can send their henchmen to be trained in how to inconvenience superheroes.

So I'm sorry. I can accept Cap losing to Taskmaster, based on factors like who started the fight. I can accept that Iron Fist got cocky and Taskmaster used his shield. But Spider-Man? The guy who ONE FINGER FLICKS Wolverine away while webbing up Nightcrawler?

No. Sorry. Can't buy that.

Spider-Man's reflexes are so fast that he can move out of the way of bullets, putting him just shy of speedsters like Quicksilver -- and with his Spider-Sense and insane agility, even Quicksilver has a hard time hitting him. Spider-Man has beaten the X-Men.

Better image of Spider-Man lifting a NY Subway car over his head. Subway cars vary in weight, but modern ones can exceed 80,000 pounds, which is about 40 tons. Ones from the 90's were probably 57000 pounds at the lightest, so 29 tons or so.

I don't care that Taskmaster knows he's going to do that

Again, I know this isn't important. I know I'm a grown man getting angry about comic books on the internet. But both the world and my life are careening off a cliff lately, so let me vent some of my anxiety into ranting about made up people in their underwear fighting.

But Spider-Man?

Discounting all the times Spidey's gotten a power up -- the Captain Universe times, the wearing an alien symbiote times -- Spider-Man has literally beaten a herald of Galactus unconscious with his strength and speed. He has lifted entire train cars

Cap is literally as strong, as fast, and as tough as any human being can possibly be. He doesn't tire. He can completely ignore pain. His body can flush toxins, heals faster than normal (although nowhere close to Wolverine or Deadpool) and he's a strategic and tactical genius. Tasky loses.

Of the three I mentioned, he could conceivably beat Iron Fist, although I really doubt it because Danny knows martial arts from another damn dimension and could probably bust out moves Taskmaster's never seen and then hit him with the magic glowing punch.

But Taskmaster isn't physically superhuman. He doesn't have the Super-Soldier Serum, he can't focus his Chi until his fist is all sparkly and erupts with magic power, and he certainly can't lift ten tons over his head, stick to walls, or sense danger.

See, it's one thing to be able to fight like all these super talented fighters because you watched a video of them or saw them in action. That's really cool and handy. And being able to anticipate their moves? That makes sense and it explains why he could stay up a long time against them.

People routinely have him beat or draw people like Captain America or Spider-Man or Iron Fist, and I know this is a completely inane thing to be upset about as an adult human, but it is so unimportant that it's safe for me to get wildly angry about it.

Taskmaster should not win against them.

I still remember so so many people being happy about Hogan's lawsuit against Gawker and me being once again the Cassandra trying to warn people that a vampire billionaire was using it to help crush the media's ability to criticize those in power. I hated Hogan for that, and I still do.

Just imagine that face wandering around the commonwealth looking for ths Institute to just kill every single one of them just so they never even TRIED to touch her kid again. And if you want her to take over the place instead? Go ahead! Give her a real Fallout style amoral option.

You'd actually mod the armor so that your kid would fit inside it strapped up against you. You'd have to spend at least a portion of the game creating a settlement and collecting followers just so you could get someone to watch your kid so you didn't have to bring him to fights.

I honestly think Fallout 4 could have been even cooler if instead of your kid getting kidnapped and all that, if you freak out and kill the various Institute jerks trying to steal him, your husband dies helping you, and you Lone Wolf and Cub the rest of the game with your baby strapped to your chest

A civilian, Danse? I have better armor than you, a lot more weapons than you, and I have an entire palace I built just to house my ludicrous power armor collection. I have over 10000 Fusion Cores. I could outfit a bigger army than the entire Brotherhood of Steel.