Matthew Tate
@matthewctate.bsky.social
They/Them. Four comedy albums out on multiple platforms. Check out Matthew Tate wherever you listen!
Reposted by Matthew Tate
Disabled veteran who is a U.S. citizen taken during Camarillo immigration raid
July 12, 2025 at 3:37 PM
Disabled veteran who is a U.S. citizen taken during Camarillo immigration raid
Doing my first public show in six months tomorrow night! Come check it out, Huntsville!
June 5, 2025 at 2:56 PM
Doing my first public show in six months tomorrow night! Come check it out, Huntsville!
Ol' Gavin Greusome is at it again. The transphobic, xenophobic governor of California wants you to know he and his buddy Trump think human rights are distracting.
April 22, 2025 at 4:36 PM
Ol' Gavin Greusome is at it again. The transphobic, xenophobic governor of California wants you to know he and his buddy Trump think human rights are distracting.
250 years ago today, Paul Revere rode to warn the colonists of the British invasion, coining the immortal phrase "One if by land, two in the pink."
April 19, 2025 at 2:14 AM
250 years ago today, Paul Revere rode to warn the colonists of the British invasion, coining the immortal phrase "One if by land, two in the pink."
I know I'm about a half century late, but I think it's really messed up that Billy Joel had to watch that old man fuck a gin & tonic.
April 19, 2025 at 2:10 AM
I know I'm about a half century late, but I think it's really messed up that Billy Joel had to watch that old man fuck a gin & tonic.
Ever since Casey Anthony has been back in the news, I've had to explain to a few younger people who exactly she is.
I usually start with "Casey Anthony USED to be a milf."
I usually start with "Casey Anthony USED to be a milf."
April 17, 2025 at 7:18 PM
Ever since Casey Anthony has been back in the news, I've had to explain to a few younger people who exactly she is.
I usually start with "Casey Anthony USED to be a milf."
I usually start with "Casey Anthony USED to be a milf."
Blue Cross is now offering a rewards program.
I wish they'd just reward us with consistent coverage.
I wish they'd just reward us with consistent coverage.
April 17, 2025 at 7:13 PM
Blue Cross is now offering a rewards program.
I wish they'd just reward us with consistent coverage.
I wish they'd just reward us with consistent coverage.
We're sharing a boat with a bunch of idiotic psychopaths.
April 13, 2025 at 3:03 PM
We're sharing a boat with a bunch of idiotic psychopaths.
It blows my mind that Republicans can buy into shit like Jewish space lasers, nuking hurricanes, vaccines tracking people, and pizzaganda, yet can't wrap their head around the concept of the current administration intentionally destroying our country, despite the proof being right in front of them.
April 11, 2025 at 6:40 PM
It blows my mind that Republicans can buy into shit like Jewish space lasers, nuking hurricanes, vaccines tracking people, and pizzaganda, yet can't wrap their head around the concept of the current administration intentionally destroying our country, despite the proof being right in front of them.
I wonder how long before he signs an executive order renaming it to the "United States of Tesla".
April 10, 2025 at 7:41 PM
I wonder how long before he signs an executive order renaming it to the "United States of Tesla".
Some folks in the 80s asked "what if R.E.M. sounded as terrible and were as pretentious and cringe as U2?" and in the 90s, we got the band Live.
April 10, 2025 at 2:34 PM
Some folks in the 80s asked "what if R.E.M. sounded as terrible and were as pretentious and cringe as U2?" and in the 90s, we got the band Live.
The problem has never been that poor people are "parasites". The problem is and has always been that we don't hold rich people to the same level of accountability (behaviorally or fiscally) in this country.
April 9, 2025 at 7:15 PM
The problem has never been that poor people are "parasites". The problem is and has always been that we don't hold rich people to the same level of accountability (behaviorally or fiscally) in this country.
It feels weird to keep referring to the Constitution as a "living, breathing document" while it's being strangled.
April 9, 2025 at 3:42 PM
It feels weird to keep referring to the Constitution as a "living, breathing document" while it's being strangled.
Zuck and co. have just added "Prison Life Simulator" to the Meta Horizon Worlds for his company's VR headsets. He's really buying into this whole dystopia thing, isn't he?
April 9, 2025 at 2:08 PM
Zuck and co. have just added "Prison Life Simulator" to the Meta Horizon Worlds for his company's VR headsets. He's really buying into this whole dystopia thing, isn't he?
I made a silly thing.
April 8, 2025 at 7:20 PM
I made a silly thing.
Me: *starts fisting the garbage disposal with a shotgun in my mouth*
Everyone else playing this game of Charades: OH MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Me: No, I'm sorry. The answer was "A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway."
Everyone else playing this game of Charades: OH MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Me: No, I'm sorry. The answer was "A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway."
April 7, 2025 at 3:37 PM
Me: *starts fisting the garbage disposal with a shotgun in my mouth*
Everyone else playing this game of Charades: OH MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Me: No, I'm sorry. The answer was "A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway."
Everyone else playing this game of Charades: OH MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Me: No, I'm sorry. The answer was "A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway."
Still booking private shows in 2025! It was good to be back on stage again.
April 3, 2025 at 2:41 AM
Still booking private shows in 2025! It was good to be back on stage again.
Ay, where can I stream the first season of that Cory Booker speech?
April 3, 2025 at 2:02 AM
Ay, where can I stream the first season of that Cory Booker speech?
Made Paneer Saag at home for the first time. It turned out really well!
March 31, 2025 at 11:38 PM
Made Paneer Saag at home for the first time. It turned out really well!
What happened to our current administration being concerned about "violent rapists coming into our country", huh?
March 28, 2025 at 6:43 PM
What happened to our current administration being concerned about "violent rapists coming into our country", huh?
My weird stalker of 10+ years is back at it again with another throwaway number and more phone harassment after countless times of telling him to stop contacting me.
Probably turning off my phone for the weekend. Again.
Probably turning off my phone for the weekend. Again.
March 27, 2025 at 8:10 PM
My weird stalker of 10+ years is back at it again with another throwaway number and more phone harassment after countless times of telling him to stop contacting me.
Probably turning off my phone for the weekend. Again.
Probably turning off my phone for the weekend. Again.
The guy in charge of our military drunk-texting top secret military plans to a reporter somehow isn't even surprising anymore.
March 26, 2025 at 2:43 PM
The guy in charge of our military drunk-texting top secret military plans to a reporter somehow isn't even surprising anymore.
People like this (and I have one in the family, unfortunately) need to start having their kids taken away by the state.
March 21, 2025 at 5:58 PM
People like this (and I have one in the family, unfortunately) need to start having their kids taken away by the state.
Reposted by Matthew Tate
