Matthew Coffey
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matthewcoffey.com
Matthew Coffey
@matthewcoffey.com
Copywriter. Better than this.
"Professor, where does the name Toledo come from?"

"Nobody knows."
April 24, 2025 at 3:56 AM
Now let's see Paul Allen's dystopia
April 17, 2025 at 7:11 PM
Well this is very cheering, as I scroll a feed mostly about, y' know, everything else. So thanks. And thanks ducks :)
April 17, 2025 at 10:56 AM
"Your Honour, the influence of each individual twenty pound note in the bank vault full of cash that I robbed only adjusted my wealth upwards by about 0.06%. I'm not sure why I'm on trial, to be quite honest with you."
April 17, 2025 at 10:48 AM
Long, what?
April 12, 2025 at 7:15 AM
Shared Madrid hun x
April 12, 2025 at 4:10 AM
Yes.

No.

Maybe.
April 9, 2025 at 2:09 AM
Whenever I see an unflattering picture of myself, I spare no effort to draw global attention to it.
March 24, 2025 at 10:13 AM
I love my smartphone. It's why I've never achieved prominence. Oh shit, that's not even a joke is it? Need to go and have a think.
March 24, 2025 at 8:52 AM
I hadn't considered "narc'd". Better. But somehow none of them are quite satisfactory.
March 17, 2025 at 8:25 PM
I feel better about "narcced" than "narcked" or "narced". But I think "narked", ugly as it is.
March 17, 2025 at 7:59 PM
Colours are very Penguin, intentional homage? I mean as in the publishing brand, not that your photo is in B&W.
March 13, 2025 at 9:47 AM
Classic example of the Law as offered by @ianbetteridge.com
March 13, 2025 at 9:38 AM
Jaydy is my rydordye.
March 12, 2025 at 12:00 AM
I'm clearly still getting used to the app!
March 11, 2025 at 5:41 PM
It has nothing to do with it, does it? Looks like I replied to the wrong comment. Am idiot, please forgive me.
March 11, 2025 at 5:38 PM
"The sweat wis lashing oafay Sick Boy; he wis trembling. An then the bears moved in."
March 9, 2025 at 12:09 PM
Hourly, daily, weekly, fortnightly, monthly, quarterly, semiannually, annually, biannually, decennially
March 8, 2025 at 10:53 AM
Yeah, Brahms' Waltz in E Major is a classic
March 8, 2025 at 10:45 AM
His name is Blinky. Have some respect.
March 8, 2025 at 10:35 AM
Well, the USSR didn't exist until the '20s
March 4, 2025 at 9:02 PM