Honestly the best news I’ve heard all year.

I generally avoid wearing clothes with stuff printed on them because people take it as an invitation to talk. Turns out though that you can wear clothes that make people want to talk to you even less.

One of my favorite moments from my first album “Daddy Issues.” In hindsight, also another ADHD story. Full special is available for free on my YouTube channel. #comedy #parenting #adhd #standup

Elon Musk pointing at egg prices.

There was an artist at Barrel Proof Lounge last night drawing portraits of all the comics. I think this one is called “What if Matt did cardio?”

Only doing a couple shows this month and this is one of them. The man in this 2015 headshot will not be appearing, but a slightly older version of him will be. He’s a little grayer and fatter, but he’s funnier and he’s been to therapy.

Turns out this was best case scenario.

It’s still a little weird that the people I made are all adults now.

This was very topical twelve years ago.

My philosophy is if you’re going to be incredibly annoying, you should at least know how to cook.